AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

Chancellor Gee announced that Trauma Doc Morris had recieved a patent award that could mean $$$$$$$$ for Vanderbilt. BVD got the one and only interview with Doc Morris
BVD : Exactly what is this thing
Doc : It's our new Trauma Rauma Rolla Rauma.
BVD : OKaaaaay , what does it do ?
Doc : It's a special device specifically designed , engineered and made for biomedical mechanical and non biomedical mechanical use in physical mechanical biomedical therapy for recovering mechanically declined Trauma patients.
BVD : Hmmm , looks like a walker with a bicycle tire to me.
Doc : No , no , no , that's a Trauma Rauma Rolla Rauma Limited Edition with the VUMC logo , see the front bar , this model has the inclusive patended training wheel.
BVD : I see , having only one wheel , won't the patient go in a circle ?
Doc : Well , uh , of course they would , you see uh , the Trauma floor is designed around a circle path you see , uh , Vanderbilt's Envirnmental Biomedical Engineers in co operation with Vanderbilt's Biomedical Mechanical Engineers , designed Vanderbilt's Trauma floor layout to accomodate Vanderbilt Trauma patients walking in a circle. , therefore it made sense to research a device for assisting them to walk in a circle.
BVD : Thank you Doctor Morris
Doc : Hey ! , Did I tell you we are researching a second generation model Trauma Rauma Rolla Rauma ?
BVD : Uh , no , I did'nt think to ask
Doc : Our Trauma patients are going to love it. I got a 10 million dollar research grant from Senator Frist , to design and build an inclusive computer enhanced graphics , w/MP3 , Ipod and Blackberry compatibility flat screen monitor that tells the user , how fast they are walking , their B/P , heart rate , stop watch , time clock , and FM w/wake up alarm. AND , GPS , to allow our Vanderbilt Trauma heart monitor tech team ( patent pending ) to keep track of their global position while circling the Trauma floor. And , we are designing an off road model for those who want to use Vanderbilt's side walks. AND , already on the drawing board , the Doctor Morris Signature Series with MTV-CD-CB-FM-Satelite w/surround sound LifeFlight sound effects optional ) AND , finally , this model will have our exclusive , patented read out , showing the patient how fast their insurance policy is running out of funds. The graphics is sooo coool. It has a money tree loosing it's leaves. You can watch them fall straight down off the screen , or , the patient can adjust the wind to blow , causing the dollar bills to fly across the screen sideways.