AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

U.S. Government vs. Vanderbilt University History Department

2011-09-08T05:18:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt University , BVD News Bloggtographer - The HUSTLER learned the United States government has been trying to rewrite American history inside Vanderbilt's History Department. HUSTLER's officially unofficially Jerry was on the scene to find out why.
Jerry : What's going on ? What's wrong with American history ?
Dean , Vanderbilt History Department : It's a taxing paranormal complexity , unparalleled to the unparanormal complexities paralled to the oxi moronic chaos within this universe.
Jerry : What ? Is this a Thackston joke ?
Dean : Worse. We are talking taxation to the taxes , for the taxes , because of the taxes , so our government can tax our taxes.
Jerry : I'm really not following you on this.
Dean : Do you remember " No taxation without representation ?"
Jerry : Well , yes , I'm old school.
Dean : Our government is now putting military classification on American history for the purposes of hiding the truth. The NSA co operating with the CIA , who has FBI jurisdiction , under Secret Service guidlines ,and without a warrant , are now pulling early American history books off the shelves and taking them to a safe place , deep beneath the Pentagon , where Americans can't get to them and learn the truth.
Jerry : That's absurd , what's so classified about early American history ?
Dean : Here is a classic classified example. Today , American citizens pay city water taxes to provide water to their homes. Have you seen a water bill lately ? The citizen pays water useage tax , water pipe tax , boundary line tax , county tax , city tax , water meter tax , water flow tax , water pressure tax , county school district tax , city school district tax , city government employee tax , city residence citizen tax , city residence outside the city tax , and even sales tax on the monetary total , plus sales tax on the bottom line.
Jerry : OK , I'm trying to follow what you are saying.
Dean : Did you learn about the " Boston Tea Party " ?
Jerry : Yes , it was a revolt against the British king putting a tax on tea.
Dean : That's right. Well , look around you today. We have a tax on tea , we have taxes on the water to make the tea , there's sales tax on the tea leaves , import ship taxes , in port ship taxes , port authority taxes on the ship , ship container taxes , plus import taxes , customs taxes , transportation taxes , there's even sales taxes on the tea container in your home so you can take it home.
Jerry : Whoa , my head is spinning.
Dean : Now do you understand why our government wants to hide this about our history ?

Vanderbilt University takes EDUCATION to the next LEVEL

2011-09-07T03:49:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt averted a near educational nuclear meltdown , when students started removing test files from the Engineering school and stacked them outside Kirkland Hall for a bonfire to protest a lack of MTV on campus. The engineering faculty were gravely concerned about those test files because they act as the control rods on the student's atomic pile. Chairman Thackston stated with alarm , " Without those test files , there's no way to control the nuclear fission inside the student body core. We would have students shooting in all directions out into space even. This would have been more catastrophic than the time Professor Speece flooded the school with human effluent. " ( Thackston kindly asked not to print that last since the state does'nt know about it )
Chancellor Gee , in a flash of brilliance , realized the opportunity to increase the student population. He decreed , "From now on , there will be 12 channels of MTV on campus to choose from , and more importantly , every engineering class can vote on which channel to watch during lectures. "
In a seperate announcement , Gee stated , " This summer , the engineering school will be renovated and upgraded to include a Munchy Mart Beer Dispencer in every classroom and , most importantly , each classroom will have a BIG plasma tv screen to watch MTV during lectures. The Vandy card will be accepted so don't leave your dorm without it. "

OLIN HALL FALLS DOWN

2011-09-06T05:42:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt University - BVD News For those who were wondering about all the noise last night , it did'nt come from the Rites of Spring. At 4:20 am , that's morning time , Olin Hall collasped into a pile of rubble.
Vanderbilt built Olin Hall on a area of ground , that Chairman Thackston assured the builders , would take the stress and strain of the urinal shaped building. However , this morning , Thackston re-reviewed his data and discovered , he read the wrong numbers.

Bart's Parts

2011-08-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

Yes , Springfield , The Simpsons have finaly made a movie. The uproar is that Bart will do the full frontal. Parents lead the protest in Bart showing his parts. I guess after all those diapers , they don't want to see another child's butt parts. Just the same , Bart is a cartoon figure.
BVD got word that Franklin's Jay Johnson got excited at seeing young Bart's parts. Eew !
Meanwhile , ass people get upset with a cartoon figure doing the frontal , at Vanderbilt University , no one got mad ass Professor Bowers did his frontal with the co-eds.

PROFESSOR BOWERS EXPLODES on LETTERMAN

2011-08-25T05:03:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt's Civil Engineering professor Bowers had an explosive accident during his interview with David Letterman on CBS last night.
Bowers told BVD News , " I don't understand what happened. David was talking to me , when I was distracted by a young lady in the audience. The next thing I knew , the monster exploded. "
BVD was standing behind a plexi glass shield during the interview.

PROFESSOR BOWERS POPULAR BOOTH

2011-08-24T04:31:00.000-07:00

This years most visited activity booth at Rites of Spring was guessing Professor Bowers' IQ. Most students were guessing in the upper 800s when it was disclosed that Bowers was not a doctor. Although he does have a PHD , he is not a medical doctor.
Armed with this information , students started guessing around 70 and were consistantly winning. In less than an hour , all prizes had been given away.
And , yes , PHD stands for " Piled High and Deep. "

PROFESSOR BOWERS

2011-08-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

This was the look on Bowers face after giving his first co-ed an "A"

THACKSTON vs. BOWERS

2011-08-22T10:32:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt University-BVD News It was a word game of he said she said that got the cronies of Thackston and Bowers on the ice.
Bowers was trying to explain the birds and the bees to Thackston in a way ass to get him to understand.
Things heated up and the fight was on.
When time was running out on the ice , it looked like Bowers team was going to win. One of Thackston's cronies had a word with Vice President Cheney who confided that thru illegal wire taps , he learned Bowers was'nt wearing a groin protection. Upon learning this , Thackston took Bowers out of the game. This action happened so quickly , the refs did'nt see it.
Ass Bowers was removed from the ice , he hollered at Thackston , " I still know more about co-ed pussy than you !"

The New Bible

2011-07-14T01:52:00.000-07:00

The Christian Bible is now the the new Common English Bible. No longer is it written , "In the beginning " instead it now reads , "When God began to create the heavens and the earth".
Other changes includes calling Jesus , "the Human One" , instead of , "the son of man".
How many times will it take to re-write the Bible before someone says enough. Today's Christian religion is fractured to the point of no-return ass it is.
When you look at other religions you dont see them creating another Christian faith , do you? And yet , just look at how many Christian faiths there are today and yet they all use the same Bible version except Jehova's Witnesses , who happen to have their own interpretation of the Bible.

So maybe , I say maybe , with this new Bible , maybe Christians can now get their head out of their ass. I mean like how many Christian faiths does the Christian religion need? People are saying this Bible version is a gamble but so was the blue jeans version which didnt last very long. HOw many people remember that version? It was the King James version placed inside real Levi covers complete with the brass rivet and back pocket.

Like I have said , maybe , just maybe Christians can find the words they can believe in. Christianity is the only religion I know of , that continually changes the word of God to suit their religious needs. What's wrong with God's word as it was originally written?

I don't have an answer for that one.

Time will tell how the next Bible version will read.

America"s Deficit Problem

2011-07-09T05:18:00.000-07:00

With the last space shuttle mission currently under way , people are wondering why NASA does not have another manned space program afoot. The answer is that 200 Billion dollars have been spent and there's no more money available to fund NASA.

Let's take a look at something shall we? This nation spends 5oo Billion dollars annually just on researching war. This money comes right off the top of the annual budget before anyone else gets theirs. Now , after all these years of spending this kind of money on war , just how many wars are there to research? If you go back over the years , you find this nation has spent over 10 Trillion dollars on researching war.

Can you see a problem here people? What's even more disturbing is that when you read The Bible and you find America mentioned in Revelations. And yes , all the churches here in town are talking about it.

Intelligence? What Intelligence?

2011-07-06T01:05:00.000-07:00

Franklin , Tennessee - isn't it interesting how we humans claim to be the most intelligent species on the planet and yet just look at how we behave towards one another.

The Bible says we are made from God. Some people say that God was an astronaut. Let's look at this remark. I found some writing about what Earth was like so many forgotten years ago and it tells about this planet being colonized. During the work the people got tired of all the work involved to make a strange planet like their own and so they used their science to develop slaves. Afterwards things were going pretty smooth. These "Gods" had a much easier life with slave labor and with less work to do they became disgruntled and they started bickering amongst themselves. Next thing you know they are shooting each other for what the other possessed including their wives. Soon things were a mess here on Earth. Everyone it seemed was flying around looking for the other for the sole purpose of killing them and taking their property and women. Hmmmm , this sounds a lot like the wars of old don't it?

If God was an astronaut it seems he has certainly moved on by now and look at what he left behind. Looking around the globe we can see the mess they left behind. Their Megolith structures lie everywhere and today we do not have the technology to even start building what they could. Outside of misbehaving we find that God didn't teach us everything he knew and probably for good reason.

Obama Care

2011-07-05T01:44:00.000-07:00

Here in Franklin Tennessee - have you taken a look at Obama Care? I mean have you taken a really good look at it. Let's take a look at going to the hospital.

Here's what I found lying on top of the pile. Let's say you need to go the the hospital during normal daytime hours. Obama Care says you should have gone to your doctor first since its still normal daytime hours and your doctor is "IN" , therefore under Obama Care you get hit for more money and while receiving less insurance care.

However , let's say you wait until after 6PM to go to the hospital. Well this is OKay.

Since I do not know anything about insurance or normal sick hours for going to the hospital , I'm wondering if I would get a super discount for dying first while using my Daylight Savings Card and then go to the hospital after 6PM.

Come on people , common sense says if you need to go then just go. There's should be no need for waiting until 6PM. After all , the hospital will have you waiting and waiting per their standard normal operating procedure which goes on regardless of what time of the day it is.
:)

Getting Out of the Heat

2011-07-01T01:06:00.000-07:00

National news - there's been lots of talk about President Obama's travels aboard Air Force One. He has logged more hours in the air than in The Oval Office and his current agenda shows there's even more flight time ahead.

As they say , "If you can'y stand the heat get out of the kitchen." The politics on Capital Hill are just too much for the graying man so he's going to spend more of his remaining presidential time promoting his re-election instead of working for "US".

Makes sense to me.
:)

Conan Decrees " SIZE MATTERS "

2011-06-30T01:01:00.000-07:00

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD bloggingtographer - 4,000 miles away in Lost Angels , California , The Tonight Show hosting an audience with Conan , could hear Franklin's judges , quibbling over their choice of readily available sizes of Greek columns. And so it was , that Conan decided to show off to the judges , that he really was , " The ONE , the ONLY , THE MAN " , by demonstrating that " His " size , is all that really matters. And to do it , he personally brought , his very own signature series , NBC stage with his very own personable and one-of-a-kind , special statue that Egypt had made especially just for him , while visiting the pyramids.

Later , Conan boldly stated , " I am all the night time TV that matters to this world , so let them judges judge me now. " Later again , after the applause had died down , Conan added , " There's no way those judges can measure up to me. Just look at this. I am AWESOME ! "

video courtesy NBC

Jerry : Wow O WoooowwwW man , did you see Conan's statue ?
BVD : Yeah ( yawn ) , what about it ?
Jerry : Well , geeee , I had'nt realized you were so excited about it. The crowd I mean , listen at that crowd , would'nt you want someone to think of you in some kind of big way ?
BVD : I do have someone who thinks of me being big in a particular kind of way and they do think about it all the time. Heh , heh , heh Besides , that's just Conan. Since when was the last time you saw me get excited over Conan
Jerry : Oh , of course , I'm sure
BVD : Besides , there's a China sticker on the butt of that thing. You can see Conan remove it when the camera pans around back
Jerry : ( carefully watches the rerun ) Oh man , that's the front of that Damn thing , not the back. How could you not notice ? Hey , wait a just a Fracking minute. What's Conan doing to that statue ? Back that up again in slo-mo this time.
BVD : Whooooops :)

The New World Order

2011-06-29T02:20:00.000-07:00

Frankilin , Tennessee - The New World Order is alive and well and using Microwave technology against so called desinters. You know , people like me who talk about things in a sarcastic manner while getting my ideas from the truth of reality .

It's been said that America would be taken over without firing one shot and it's already happened without America realizing it. People continue talking in a hush like manner wondering what the future will bring but it's too late.

The Pentagon finally got AFRICOM up and running in it's effort to be prepared to fight any war on any ground around the world. America is the only country with global preperation for such a global conflict. Why and what do they know that we don't?

Good Luck people. You've got a new boss. Have you noticed President Obama is doing things behind closed doors? Have you noticed he has already traveled more than any other president aboard Air Force One? There's a reason for it.

The New World Order is here and now. I don't know how brave it is going to be but I'm sure "WE" won't like what they tell "US". This 15 Trillion dollar debt thing is'nt going away and they ran up the tab. This is what happens when a society does not use it's CONSTITUTION to run their government.

Enjoy

Messin' With Sasquatch

2011-06-29T01:08:00.000-07:00

One point about a successful commercial is the ability to entertain. This one surely does that "1" thing. Jack Link's beef jerky is a trucker's favorite.
Enjoy

Find The Squirrel

2011-06-28T01:06:00.000-07:00

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD News had nothing probably much more important to do with himself and set off to be out and about the City of Franklin in search of a story and low 'n behold , he found one.

Can you help Raz find the squirrel?

The Best Hotel in Town

2011-06-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

Franklin , Tennessee - have you ever wondered who has the best hotel in Franklin? I went looking and found you can spend all the money you want to on a room or you can go the cheap route and go Best Western or Ramada.

Best Western is by far the better place over Ramada. You'll find the rooms are better , the beds are not hard ass a rock , check in is easy and you get a full breakfast bar with the room plus a morning paper and don't forget the friendly people. Keep in mind , you should expect the Best Western to fill up quickly.

Over at Ramada you'll find the couch is busted with your ass sitting on the floor. The bed is hard ass a rock and the chairs are shaky. The breakfast bar can upset your tummy and there's no morning paper. And don't forget the Cranky long haired blonde Desk Clerk and those potato chips that are 3 months out of date. The price is comparable to Best Western. By the way , I did ask if all of the couches in Ramada were in the same condition and I got a frowny face with a nod. The rooms need a "BE CAREFUL" or at least a "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK" sign on the door before going in. Insurance for the night wouldn't be a bad idea either.

Remember , when you check in , you do have the right to inspect the room before paying. Otherwise , you're stuck with it for the duration.

Yes , there are other cheapie hotels butt these two are the more popular and are on the interstate for making an easy get away.

Now back in my road warrior days , the Best Western was the worst place to stay while Ramada was excellent. In fact Ramada consistantly ranked in the top 3 in the South East Region while the Best Western was consistantly found on the bottom of any list. My how times have changed in 20 short years.

Missing Father's Day Fathers

2011-06-13T01:53:00.000-07:00

Franklin Tennessee and Williamson County - BVD News , the Sheriff's Department released this photo of the missing Father's Day excursion trip for fathers , on the Harpeth River. Detectives on the case , stated they have no clues at this time , to help determine what happened. There are concerns , this may have been a mass kidnapping and/or robbery. The empty canoes were found near Manchester. Several families had booked their dads on this trip , hoping to give them something to remember , as they grow older in their years.

Last minute note before going to press. All the missing fathers have been found at the 2011 Bonnaroo Concert. Many fathers were seen running for safety , after their wives caught them dancing with the skimpily clad young ladies. There are no photos at this time. No doubt , they will have memories of this weekend for many years to come.

Wait just one minute. What were their wives doing there ?

Young Beans at Bonnaroo 2011

2011-06-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

Beans beans They're good for your heart
The more you eat the more you fart
The more you fart the better you feel
So eat some beans at every meal

Here's a favorite campfire song to share with your new found friends at Bonnaroo

Bonnaroo 2011

2011-06-11T04:18:00.000-07:00

Bonnaroo - BVD is on the scene

Hey , we need to dump this used beer !

I was told Hillbillies did this for tired legs

Woodstock's latest generation of Mud people

Is this the way to Bonnaroo ?

In case you don't know , she works undercover.

Incident at Bonnaroo 2011

2011-06-11T01:12:00.000-07:00

Manchester , Tennessee - BVD Bloggtographer reporting on an incident at Bonnaroo 2011 , this is a story the news media will not cover. During a night with high winds , lightning popping all around and the thunder knocking down tents , Sarah Hutchinson , Vanderbilt Trauma Rauma Mauma , aka the Manager , suddenly found herself alone and stranded inside a locked Port-O-Let without food , a man or even paper. Her Trauma Rauma ( pat. pending ) flashlight had died due to having out of Trauma season batteries. By using the stormy lightning flashes to see with , she accidentally fell in while attempting to get out. Only by using her trusty Vanderbilt Victorinox All in One Trauma Rauma Knife , was she able to extricate herself from a Shitty situation. ( and also owing thanks to a lucky lightning strike by waving her knife around inside ) People who saw her , did not ask questions.

BVD : Sarah , what were you doing in that Shitter ?
Sarah : I was looking for Jimmy Hoffa , wanna help ?

America's Changing Direction

2011-06-10T01:23:00.000-07:00

Franklin , Tennessee - ( because of my family being so disgustedly mistreated recently , I'm now talking about this ) Once upon a time , I over heard a conversation at my former employer. Here's what I remember : ( the military has UAVs , which stands for Unmanned Aerial Vehicle ) one version of this thing ( used by THE MARINES ) , comes in it's own backpack. Put a few parts together and you've got a flying airplane , now , put a camera on board and go find the enemy/target. With this toy plane is a computer , to program the flight path. GPS comes on board using a satellite link , which also enables this to send live pics to both the user and to someone at The Pentagon.

Well , the discussion was about exploring possibilities to make this UAV package smaller and lighter for the soldier in the field. To accomplish this feat , it was decided to use a helmet mounted , eye controllable , " keyboard ". It weighs less than a pound and has a flip down eye screen. The eyeball moves a cursor to program the UAV. ( Currently , quads use a similar system to help them live better , " quality lives " in a wheelchair ) Somewhere in the conversation , the idea of using implants came into the discussion.

Why ? Because the concern over this new change of doing things in the battle field was having someone compromise the mission or possibly make their own personal agenda while using this thing. Soooo , the card idea was explored. Research would be needed , to explore medical procedures and to implement , implant card reception. This way , the soldier can be programed any where and out of sight , The Pentagon deemed necessary. Some how , some where , the original UAV discussion , had dropped out of the conversation and the idea of having an elite special forces , with a card in their brains became the plan of the day.

Everyone was getting very excited , with all of this talk about programming their very own , elite killer soldiers , when the question suddenly came up , " Can this card technology be used on the general population ? " ( that's you and me , they are referring too , do you understand )

Soooo , how do you feel about this idea ? Hmmmm . What I would like to know is why The Pentagon would be asking such questions in the first place. I mean , just because they get 400 Billion dollars a year , to spend just on " Black Projects " , why are they talking about such ideas ? Is The Pentagon making future decisions for " US " now ?

That conversation took place over 10 years ago.

Note : I was horribly threatened at Vanderbilt , about what would happen to my family and me , if I ever mention this to anyone. Well , I don't care any more. Let your family cook under a microwave for a while and let's see how you feel about it.

Vanderbilt Trauma Makes Surgical History

2011-06-09T01:58:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt University Medical Center , Vanderbilt Trauma Department , Nashville , Tennessee - BVD Medical News was there , when Vanderbilt Trauma Doc , Doctor. Morris , PhD , MD , PiLeD , and AiD with a Phys EdD in e minor , developed a scientific eye sight method , by using recycled and implanted , cadaver eyeballs , to observe what the traumatized victim sees , from their trauma bed , while teaching undergrad students , traumatic surgery for traumatic category disorders , that are associated with those traumatic incidents , that lead to missing traumatic brain wave instability improbabilities , in the traumatically traumatized , bean brained victim.

During an interview with Trauma Doc Morris , he stated , " This is just the beginning , to a whole new era , in scientific trauma and traumatically related , traumatized injuries needing surgery and for the pursuit of scientific happiness associated with trauma research , intertwined co-connectively with other necessitive medically related excuses , that give doctors , like me for example , more say in handling today 's modern medical problems , that are commonly found , in my dealings with the little people I usually find , lying on my surgical table , while I'm trying to play cards with my favorite nurses. OK ? Look , it's really all about my personal needs you see. I really do need to see , what I'm doing to the patient and this gives me the eyes to do that very thing. "

BVD : So , are these traumatic , traumatizing surgical procedures , similar to the one shown , used on all of your traumatized , bean brained victims ?
Doc. Morris : Oh no , no , nooooo , no , of course not. Traumatic surgeries , like the one shown here , are for the bean brained idiotic victims without insurance. You see , those with insurance can usually afford scalpels.

Philosophy For Everyone

2011-06-08T01:01:00.000-07:00

A masterful professor stood on his platform without saying a word. He took out an empty mayonnaise bottle and a bag of golf balls.

He filled all the golf balls into the empty mayonnaise bottle. He then asked the students if they would agree that the empty bottle was now full.

Everyone of course agreed.

After that, the professor took out a cup of small cobblestones from under the table and he slowly poured them into the bottle while shaking it. Soon, the cobblestones filled up all the gap in between the golf balls.

Then, the professor asked the students again if they would agree that the bottle was full?

The students said yes.

Again, the professor took out a cup of fine sand from under the table.

Following the same method, by pouring while shaking the bottle, he filled up the small gap in between the cobblestone with the fine sands.

Professor: “Is the bottle really full now?"

Students: " Yes, it should be full. No more gaps".

Just as the students thought it was over, the professor brought out two cups of coffee from under the table and he slowly poured all the coffee from the cups into the bottle until not a single drop was left.

After pouring the coffee, the professor smiled at the students and said, “Now the bottle is truly full".

The students laughed together with the professor.

Then the professor started his lecture.

"Do you know what I am trying to teach you with my demonstration today?"

"I am using this mayonnaise bottle to tell you a philosophy of life"

"This empty mayonnaise bottle represents our life"

"Golf balls are the major things in our life, such as God, family, children, friends, health and love.

It doesn't matter that life is without those cobblestones and fine sands. But if our life is without the major things above, it will be meaningless.

The small cobblestones will be like "the other things" in our life such as job, house, car, etc.

As for the fine sands, they are just like the small little things in our life, those trivial matters which are not important.

If I began my show by putting the fine sands into the empty mayonnaise bottle first, there would not be any space for golf balls and the cobblestones.

In the same way, if I were to fill the cobblestones in first, there would be no space for the golf balls either.

Just like our life, if you spent all your precious time on those trivial matters, you wouldn't have time to do the important things.

Therefore, we should spend more time on the things which are related to our happiness.

Be with our children more often.
Spend more time for parents, grandparents and other family members.
Pay attention to our health.
Do not worry about the unfinished household chores.
Do not worry about rooms that have not been cleaned up.
Do not worry about not tending the garden.

There will be time for us to do these things.

Give more thoughts to those major and important things in life!

There is only one life.

Life will only be meaningful if we are clear about the importance and priority of things in life.

A student raised up his hand at this point of time

"Professor, what about the two cups of coffee? Do they mean anything?"

"I am glad that you ask the question", answered the professor.

The message from the two cups of coffee for us are,

No matter how full our mayonnaise bottle seems to be, we will always have time for coffee with our friends.

It seems that we are always busy as though the 24 hours we have are not enough.

If you still think that way, please remember the story of the empty mayonnaise bottle and two cups of coffee.

Confiscating The Bible

2011-06-07T01:07:00.000-07:00

Franklin , Tennessee - a concerned Bob Timmerman , wrote The Tennessean about Big Government confiscating everyone's Bible. I four one , don't see it happening and here's why. I'm only 50 years old. That's 1/2 of a century. ( or 50/100 century , for those with an educated degree from Vanderbilt ) Going backwards thru time itself , I can count 14 revised versions of The Bible and that does not include the " Blue Jean " version from LEVI , complete with hip pocket and real brass brads.
Here's my point - we are taught and we are told , The Bible is God's word. Sooooo , why is it , that man revises what The Bible says ? Who are we mortal men thinking we are , by changing what God has said ? The answer is simple " politics ". The Bible gets changed in accordance with the political atmosphere of the moment. In 50 years , changing The Bible 14 times shows a lot of political primate climate change.

Soooo , Mr. Timmerman , I really don't for see anything to worry about , until that is , the political climate gets primate enough to say for you to worry ( and I don't for see that happening in my life time ) , simply because they will merely change The Bible again and again and they'll even do it again , until politics getz it right. You see , using religion is just one avenue for politics to rule the roost while proving their popular acceptance.

Therefore , go forth and find The Bible version revision , you feel politically comfortably stable with and enjoy it in bed. Your rewards will be many times simplified , multiplied and fruitful , while politicians rest easy for another night

Wheels of Life

2011-06-06T01:05:00.000-07:00

Hoadley Sighted

2011-05-19T01:27:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt University - BVD News for The HUSTLER - Vanderbilt upcoming summer student body , for this year's Maymester , was excited over the recent Pete Hoadley sighting , seen in Nashville's seedy downtown area , where poor country music artists , lip sink their own songs for the real country music stars.
Hoadley , a long time School of Engineering professor , a tenured Vanderbilt Centurian , ASCE alumni and missing in the elite Emeritus circles , was spotted yesterday , smoking his last , Mrs. Gee's " Special ".
Professor Hoadley is well remembered by past civil engineering students for abstaining himself from ASCE competition , because he's afraid of the water and could never understand the need of a trogglidite in civil engineering.
Said one student , who did not want their name used , " One thing about Professor Hoadley we could always count on , was that if you needed him for something , he could never be found. His office door was always open , butt , he was never home , even when the lights were on."
All past efforts to find Professor Hoadley , have been pointless , pointed out Commander Barnes , Vanderbilt First Eagle Fire Brigade , Search and Rescue Division.

Adderall On Campus

2011-05-17T01:39:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt University - If you watch morning TV then you probably saw the article on Adderall on college campuses being used to help students study while getting smarter and the truth is it just doesn't work. People are wasting their money and wasting their brains on the stuff while throwing their college education away.

Look , at Vanderbilt , Adderall isn't necessary or even needed. Vanderbilt has a high academic standard and to maintain that high standard , there are test files like those found in the engineering school.

At The Engineering School , there is no excuse for needing or even using drugs for study. There's always someone preying on the stupid people to make a buck off of. You know the type of stupid , those who don't think things thru and the Vanderbilt campus is no exception. It's been said this years graduation class had the highest use of study drugs on record and that's a lot of addicts thanks to Adderall.

Think about it. After you graduate , what do you do? Sooner or later the beast will come out for all to see.

WCARES Dont WCare

2011-05-09T01:53:00.000-07:00

Franklin , Tennessee in Williamson County - are you a Ham? If so then you are familiar with WCARES. It's the Ham network for all that's Ham. They have done an excellent job looking out for the county during this season's bad stormy weather.

BUTT- did you know that's ass far ass it goes? Let's say you are in need of some serious help with a microwave transmitter that's causing you distress. Forget it brother. They are not going to help you. They are picky about who's their friend and who they want to be friends with. If you've got an antenna problem then it's no problem butt just remember they are not here to help just because you need help. That's not the way they work.

WCARES is just another glossy example of what this Williamson County is all about.

COMCAST Is Going Down

2011-05-07T08:01:00.000-07:00

Franklin , Tennessee - have you been by the COMCAST store lately? I've never seen such a line out the door in all my life. It seems AT&T is literally eating their lunch with their U-verse TV package.

I know what I'm talking about here because I was over at COMCAST turning in all of my equipment and I had to stand in that line an hour and 10 minutes before being waited on since there was only one person taking the complaints and the equipment that day. Yep , she was all alone on a sinking ship.

Now that's a BIG DAMN in really big time. I mean I had to see it to believe it. Ass for AT&T , I now have more TV than I could ever hope to watch and I've got all of the movie channels at no extra cost.

So , if you are wanting a deal on TV I suggest you take a look at the other guy and decide for yourself. If you love TV you just might love AT&T. I know I does
:)

Top Tens For Greek Columns

2011-04-25T01:25:00.001-07:00

Come one , come all , come everyone , to the only City of Franklin in Tennessee - BVD Tour Guide Blogger Update , after a hundred years or so , give or take a few , people are like tourists and have become somewhat bored with Franklin's fake Civil War bloodbath parks and tour system. Sooooo , after million$ of taxing dollar debate$ later , here are the new , top 10 best excuses/reasons for checking out the new scenery and sightseeing/visiting tours of Historic Franklin :

1 - Greek columns are taller at Centennial High than Franklin High
2 - Greek columns are taller at the top and wider at the bottom , at The Franklin Police Department Center than The ( other ) Franklin Justice Center
3 - Greek columns give Franklinites an envious symbol of recognition and should not be confused with envious Brentwoodians
4 - Greek columns are scene symbolically on The Trolleys
5 - Greek columns are scene symbolically officially only on official Franklin police cars
6 - Greek columns give Brentwoodians an officially really good reason to be jealous of Franklinites ( HEY , they can't touch these , they are ours : )
7 - Greek columns put The only City of Franklin on The Tennessean Column Map
8 - Greek columns now come in 10 official kid style paper cut out toys at Steak and Shake ( so get on over and be the first to collect all 10 of them , official Franklin Trolley Tours Welcome )
9 - Greek columns are the official safe sites used only by the wealthy ( because they are the only people in Franklin with enough wealth to build them and fill them with wealth. Remember to have your camera ready ass you never know who you will see visiting their monetary safe column )
10 - Remember , only official Greek columns ( with the official Franklin blue label ) can officially represent Downtown Historic Franklin and not The Historic Downtown Franklin. ( these are easily confused )
11 - aaaaaaaaaaaaand coming soon to a soccer field near you ,

Note : it's pronounced column , not colon

Top Tens For Greek Columns

2011-04-25T01:25:00.000-07:00

NEXT YEAR IS HERE

2011-04-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt University - the bad 'n sad news went out across the campus about how poorly Vanderbilt lost in this year's ASCE competition.
Meanwhile , needing people to work on next year's ASCE conference for this year , Professor Bowers passed out the assignments which caused some rather unusually severe student reactions.

Gee Scouts for Vanderbilt University Football Team

2011-04-01T01:26:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt University - BVD News , the word is out , that former Vanderbilt University Chancellor Gee has been recruited to scout for Vanderbilt's Football team. BVD caught up with Gee at the baseball stadium
BVD : How's the recruiting coming along
Gee : Not to good , I'm digging in the 3rd barrel right now
BVD : Why are you scouting for football players in a baseball game
Gee : Like I said , I'm digging in my 3rd barrel. I've gotta find somebody and fast if we are to have a winning season next year
BVD : He don't look like much to me
Gee : What would you expect to find in the 3rd barrel
BVD : Have you thought about changing your strategy
Gee : What do you mean
BVD : Bring back Woody ball , none of the teams would expect it
Gee : ( light bulb )
BVD : I see that look in your eyes. I reeeally don't think the EASY button will work for your football team
Gee: Hmm? What are trying to tell me here? Has STAPLES gone out of business again?
BVD: ? ! ?

KING KONG on KIRKLAND TOWER

2011-03-31T04:39:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt University-BVD News-Some April Foolers stole the Nashville Zoo's latest attraction and placed it on Kirkland Hall's bell tower last night.
Kong , a 50 foot neon night light , was intended to be the BIG draw for spring events at the zoo.
However , Kong's placement on Kirkland's bell tower , lit up downtown Vandyland , causing the co-eds on the lawn to scatter. The frats and sororities were at a lose of where to go to continue Pledge Week.
Meanwhile , VUPD was last seen scattering and screaming like a bunch of cock roaches when the light bulbs were turned on.

Vanderbilt University Fires Chairman Thackston Again

2011-03-29T01:21:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt University - BVD News , in an attempt to beat the rush on April Fools Day , several April Foolers went into over time early this week , by announcing to the Engineering School , that Dean Galloway had fired General Chairman Thackston ( again ). Upon hearing the good news , the Civil Department and ASCE members shook down Professor Bowers for party money.
Needing stuff to burn for the bon'fire , everyone in the Civil Engineering Department grabbed those elusive and exclusive test files.
Ass the party heated up , the ASCE gang started chanting , " We're FREE , we can now start learning civil engineering instead of studying dummy down test files. No more being spoon fed duck soup and no more Thackston dirty POOP !"
BVD asked Professor Speece about Thackston being fired. Speece replied , " Thackston can't be fired. He has a disease called tenure track manure."
BVD asked why the civil engineering students were'nt attending the ASCE Conference and the ASCE president spoke up saying , "Why? No one gives a Shit and besides , we never win anything because we are no good at anything. I mean like , the only thing we are really good at is spending our parents money on an expensive piece of wall paper. "
BVD asked if perhaps the conference could be changed to allow trophies be given to those schools who were'nt any good and/or perhaps a new catagory could be set up ? The president said she would look into it , if and when she felt like it.
BVD then asked "What are these kids thinking by burning those test files ?" Speece answered , " Ass usual they're not thinking , they're just burning their chances for graduation. Wanna hot dog ? "
Meanwhile , since NASA was unable to launch the Space Shuttle ( again ) , their astronauts , hearing about the party , came to help celebrate.

Drinking The Franklin Kool Aid

2011-03-26T11:17:00.000-07:00

Franklin , Tennessee - I was checking to see if or when the blog called , "Drinking The Franklin Kool Aid" was back or if it will ever return.

Well guess what people? Someone has made a blog with that very name and it seems they are right here in Franklin. I don't know who or what but the blog appears to be about "Our" City of Franklin.

Check it for yourself.

Franklin Kool Aid

Getting Malware

2011-03-24T01:08:00.000-07:00

Franklin , Tennessee - I've heard about the horror stories concerning folks on Facebook getting their puter shut down from so many viruses and Trojans.

Well , now there's the problem over at YouTube. There are some Disney videos containing Malware and such including the new fake AVG Malware. This thing holds your puter ransom until you pay up. (That's right people , you can't use it) Then you can use your puter for a short time until it shows up again and demands more money.

Currently , the only way to remove this thing is to go manually into the registry and manually remove the hard way. The thing is , once it gets it's hands on your puter , nothing will run so you can not scan for it. Besides , there's no current SpyWare that will find it anyway.

Need a puter Guru? I know one.

And I will not visit Face Book or You Tube again

Note: I'm told the Windows 7 will not get any strange Malware stuff or what ever. So maybe 2011 is a good year for getting a new puter
:)

Tennessee Facts

2011-03-17T01:08:00.000-07:00

Franklin , Tennessee - believe it or not , there really is a Tennessee Encyclopedia. You can find everything about Tennessee you would ever want to know. The most popular topics are David Crockett and Fred Thompson. And yes boys and girls , you will also find The Civil War is included.

In the past , Tennessee has always been on the bottom of some list butt it is the second state to create it's own encyclopedia.

tennessee encyclopedia

How John Veillette Started the PAVE program

2011-03-16T01:11:00.000-07:00

Vanderbilt University - (this is a true story , you know it's a true story because it starts with Once upon a time) - during the summer , Vanderbilt School of Engineering has a 6 week summer class/camp geared for future engineers called PAVE. It's acronym means Premature Acadamnia for Vanderbilt Engineering.
Here's how it all started:

Once upon a time , there was a grad student named John Veillette who was working on his Phd. with his mentor Professor Carney. Together , they launched some stinky stuff over a lot of heads , swearing it was in the best interests of research. During his time ass a grad student at Vanderbilt , John made a lot of enemies for being a Shit head. ( he and Carney had already got themselves kicked out of Auburn ) , anyway , somehow Carney got John his Phd. and people were hoping he would disappear and never be seen again. ( John's Phd. was full of plagiarism ) Well , John knew he could bring in research money and signed an agreement with the engineering school that he would indeed do so. He traveled the world over , trying to get research money for ideas he knew would work. Problem was , the people he talked to in the industry realized they could do the research better AND cheaper AND also get the patents ass well. Finally , John got a letter of eviction notice from the school because he was not doing any research per his contract stating , " Have the research money or get out of town by sundown. " John did'nt know what to do. Everyone at the engineering school was laughing at him , and having parties using undergraduate party funds ass John's head circled and bobbed around inside the toilet. So , Jerry ( that's me ) told him to " Think Man Think " Upon saying those words , John got hit in the head by the dreaded flying I-beam. ( there's a scar on his head to prove it and I am a witness the event and I also took him to the ER ) Ass John slowly came to his senses , he saw a vision , a future , a light at the end of his tunnel while a booming voice thundered in his head , PAVE ! ! ! Can you hear me now ? I said PAVE ! Suddenly , John knew what he had to do. He went to Joe B. and pleaded his case. After singing , dancing , and giving a private performance of Hamlett , Joe B. decreed , " Let there be PAVE ! " And it was done. So , now you know the humble beginnings of PAVE.
Even though the whole thing is considered a joke , PAVE has reached the million dollar club in donations. What's really scary , are the students from Asia , who are far smarter than Americans and have an IQ way above the PAVE curriculum The folks who spy on the computer network always learn new computer technology from them every year. And those people have college degrees. These kids don't. Does this tell you anything ? Oh yes , the students you see on a PAVE brochure are not PAVE students. They are actors and models , having nothing to do with Vanderbilt. How do I know this ? I was there taking their pictures for the first brochure and perhaps things may have changed by now. Today , PAVE is the summer place for something young and tender to rave with. Yes , there are PAVE scholarships , butt , John has to like you to get one. (yes , really really) Another foot note. PAVE saved Vanderbilt's engineering school. The class sizes were shrinking due to costs , and besides , there are better programs elsewhere. PAVE has created a retention rate that keeps the student numbers high enough to keep the classes going. Now do you understand how John became a dean ? He brought in money that has kept the school alive. Meanwhile Dean Galloway had spent research money to pay the school's bills , to keep the sinking ship afloat. Thanks to John , and creative money management , he got away with it and was made a dean.

So there's the true story of PAVE boys and girls. I do hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to be a critic and write to me right here and I also hope you enjoy the rest of this blog. Good Luck to All of you.

Jerry Horne

:)

GEORGIA PEACHES

2011-03-15T01:45:00.000-07:00

Stupid question : Where do Georgia peaches come from ?
Answer : California , of course

courtesy NBC
:)

Chief Moore Makes Himself Useful

2011-03-10T01:01:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee-BVD News for Franklin Police - with the former Chief of Police , jackie Moore now in retirement mode , his wife has found him to be in need of some thing "more" to do with himself , besides just sitting around in the bathroom all alone every morning and so his wife has graciously donated all of his free time to the community just to get him out of her hair.

Shown here on Liberty Pike is an example of his work efforts on making school zones safer by writing "SHCOOL" on the road ahead of the school zone to help alert drivers with a warning that they are approaching a "SHCOOL ZONE" and that children may be present.

BVD: Good job Chief. Good job.
Chief Moore: (Beaming his huge shaved tail beaver grin for the camera) Why thank you BVD. Thank you.
BVD: That's just awesome , Chief. Really ! Good joooooob.
Chief Moore: Thank you (takes a bow) Thank you.
Warner: (Giggling) Well at least he spelled "shcool" correctly. Ha ha ha (snickering)
Chief Moore: Thank You.
BVD: I noticed your letterings are so precise. So perfect. The height and the width are just perfect
Chief Moore: Why thank you BVD. I'm glad you noticed
Wife: Oh Good Grief. "sigh" , "groooan" , Not again. "sigh" Why Lord? Why me? All these years I've been so good. Really. I've been such a good girl.
Chief Moore: Oh hay uh , did I say thank you to everyone? (looking and smiling towards his wife)

Tennessee Living On The Gulf

2011-03-09T01:26:00.000-08:00

All Over Tennessee - if you don't get it , I can't help you so , don't bother me with it. OKay?

Bloggerdise

2011-03-08T01:30:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - if you are looking for a neat blog , check out "bloggerdise". It's got all sorts of stuff on discount , stuff up for review and other stuff options.

Bloggerdise

I think you'll like it.

I does.

:)

NEW GEAR.....NOT

2011-03-08T01:01:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD got a new camera from Hewlett Packard today. While reading the instructions , he found some interesting reading. HP says , " To reduce the chances of having problems with your new camera , don't turn it on. "
Hey , makes good sense to me. Yep , he took it back. Now there won't be any problems with that new camera.

I got asked if this was true. Yep , I saw it in the manual.

PROFESSOR BOWERS FLYING LESSON

2011-03-07T01:34:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University - BVD News standing up for THE HUSTLER - Professor Alan Bowers , Vanderbilt University School of Engineering Civil Engineering Department , was again caught dressed up in drag , at another sorority party , at Towers II. This time it turns out he was attending another lesbian party supporting the 2011 ASCE student organization.

While playing a game of spin the bottle , it became obvious , that he was not what they thought she was , when he stated , "Let ASCE eat cake. No engineering faculty member would ever be caught dead giving a Shit about ASCE any way. Just a bunch of losers the whole lot of 'em." Bowers' ass was immediately tossed out the window as everyone chanted , "Down with Bowers! Down with Bowers! Down with Bowers ALL THE WAY"

Yep. He went down all right.

Isle of Man

2011-03-05T01:20:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - I got my first visit from The Isle of Man today. This internet thingie sure puts the world at your finger tips. However , I would rather go over there and visit real world places and meet new friends :) Maybe next time I'll get an invite to watch the races :) hint hint hint

Flag Description red with the Three Legs of Man emblem (triskelion), in the center; the three legs are joined at the thigh and bent at the knee; in order to have the toes pointing clockwise on both sides of the flag, a two-sided emblem is used; the flag is based on the coat-of-arms of the last recognized Norse King of Mann, Magnus III (r. 1252-1265); the triskelion has its roots in an early Celtic sun symbol

I PUT OUT

2011-03-03T01:42:00.000-08:00

VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY LAB RATS

2011-03-02T01:11:00.000-08:00

Four escaped lab rats from the VUMC dungeons , were on Jay Leno last night , discussing their lab experiments
Pictured is the human/bat reproduction study

A Homo Sapiens missing link , with the longest body hair

The cloning study of reproducing multiple " Minni Me's " inside a man's abdomen

The Kool Aid Pitcher with bladder problems caused by misplaced foley placement use and abuse
:)

Gas Prices Return To Normal

2011-02-28T01:00:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - Tom got out the old gas price signs ass the price of gas continues another spiral climb upwards.

BVD: Tom , what is this? More body parts?
Tom: Well you know how it is. An arm or a leg is still good no matter how bad the economy gets. I mean like just look at this sign here. All I did was dust it off and put it back on the street.
BVD: A Hem , I see. Do you still offer discounts?
Tom: And just how do I discount an arm or a leg? Huh?
BVD : ! ? !

What Did Jesus Preach Again?

2011-02-24T01:30:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - how many of you know about Jehovah's Witnesses? How many of you know about The Purple Triangle?

Jehovah's Witnesses go around doing their witness act in an effort to win over Souls for Christ.

The Purple Triangle relates their persecution by the Nazi's during WW II. The Jews wore a star and The Witnesses wore a Purple Triangle. In other words , it was'nt just the Jews being persecuted , OK?

How many people know that right here in Franklin , some Witnesses took payment in return for helping to harass and hurt someone? I was wondering , is this really what Jesus taught? Is doing these kinds of "Kind Deeds" to others really what the Bible is all about? Is this really the way to God?

Hmmmmmm. I'm just asking some questions here folks , nothing more.

What are your thoughts here?

Black Hole Found at Vanderbilt

2011-02-23T01:01:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University , Nashville , Tennessee - BVD News reporting in today , for The Vanderbilt Hassler

The Vanderbilt Astronomy and Physics Department grad students stumbled onto a Black Hole , right outside the Stephenson Center.
While on the scene , BVD asked the people standing around , how such a hole could be found here in the first place and a physics grad student stepped up to the mic and said , " I was just walking along , singing a song , to my adviser about my failing grads , when suddenly , I heard a scream ! And that's when I noticed , he was'nt listening to me any more. Only by my sheer superior intellect , did I think about looking around inside my universe and that's when I noticed this big black hole was lying right there on the ground. Can you imagine such a thing ? Oh , hey , I do get to name it , right ? I mean , don't I ? "
Pictured , are School of Engineering professors Bowers and Gueirmo , demonstrating the dangers of Black Holes on the ground , while Professor Mahehaha , looks on.

BVD : Well ? What do you think ?
Professor Mahehaha : Well , I don't think slippery bananas and black holes , are a good mix.

Interview with Professor Bowers

2011-02-22T01:48:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University , BVD News - Professor Bowers of the Civil Engineering Department granted BVD an interview in between phone calls.
BVD : Wow , another phone call , you're a very popular guy. What's your secret
Bowers : It's a special blend of Gatorade , spices , mints , Tennessee indigenous roots , dog testosterone and Viagra
BVD : When do you have time to teach
Bowers : Teach , who , me ? Now that's funny. I have grad students to teach my classes. It's my job to assist with learning here in my office.
BVD : Well , that explains the brass bed.
Bowers : Ha ha ha , yeah , snickering
BVD : How did you get started
Bowers : I felt sorry for a grad student who was failing. She just did'nt have the brain pan to get a Phd. , so I married her. Life was great , like you know , the best head in 52 states , when she finished up , she divorced me and went back home to Greece , and I've been bed flippin ever since.
BVD : Did she ever use her Phd.
Bowers : Of course not , like I said , she did'nt have much of a brain pan
BVD : Are'nt some of these girls a little young
Bowers : I'm faculty , what's your point
The phone rings
BVD : Later......

Vanderbilt University 2011 ASCE Steel Bridge Competition

2011-02-21T01:06:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University - This is the time of year when Vanderbilt ASCE student chapter is preparing to go to the ASCE Competition , where 26 other student chapters will compete in various competitions.
These competitions include - concrete cylinder strength test , concrete canoe racing , how to read a map , survey ( has nothing to do with reading a map ) , mystery event , find a faculty member to represent you , ( has nothing to do with the mystery event ) , balsa bridge , T-shirt , banner , calculating beer absorption , determine how many ASCE members will fit into a hotel room , and of course , the steel bridge.
The HUSTLER officially sent BVD & Jerry to check out this year's 2011 steel bridge , which has already been proclaimed this years winner by the national level ASCE judges , before the competition can begin.

When Jerry asked how a winner could be named so early , he was told , " It's all about the money " .

Note: Pictured is a bridge design that this year's Vanderbilt ASCE organization has based their own design on.

CONAN's Brain Pan

2011-02-18T01:11:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University - BVD News - When Conan learned he had been turned down by Vanderbilt Undergrad Admissions(again)for lack of credentials , he showed off his brain pan. " Look , see ? There really is something in here. "
Dean of Vanderbilt Undergrad Admissions replied , " OK , butt , perhaps if that trash can was Black and Gold , instead of blue , we might have made an exception in his case. "

Vanderbilt University - ASCE 2011

2011-02-17T01:20:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University - people have asked for more about Vandy ASCE. OK , here goes. If Vanderbilt gave an award for the most ignored student organization , ASCE would win with no competition. Their professors don't want anything to do with them because it's toooo much work. I stepped up to the plate for a while and they won several awards in competition against other universities. Those same lazy professors got jealous over those awards and took them for themselves so they could pat themselves on their own back for someone else work.
Today , Vanderbilt ASCE continues to struggle against the lazy professors and no headway has been made. So , to get around this apathy , the students are plagiarizing their college information for getting employment. The month of March is ASCE time when 20 universities will have at each other on land and water competition. These pics are from t-shirts of the past.

Oh yeah , and don't forget about those test files. You get more class files , when you take part in ASCE. AND , you get the complete set , when you join ASCE.

LETTERMAN LECTURES at BRANSCOMB

2011-02-16T01:27:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University - BVD News-David Letterman spoke to the student body last night about the Honor System at Vanderbilt.
When he was finished , the questions being asked , showed that many students did'nt understand , or they just were'nt listening due to Ipod interference.
Mr. Letterman quickly summed up his hour long lecture by simply saying , " Look everybody , this is Vanderbilt , being honest while taking exams , is just like people at CBS knowing they can't watch the NBC winter olympic games , which simply means , who cares. "

Vanderbilt ASCE 2011 Competition

2011-02-15T01:06:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University , School of Engineering - Nashville , Tennessee , BVD News was getting all excited with this years upcoming 2011 ASCE competition , when they realized that Vanderbilt had once again dropped the ball , ( yes , again )

BVD : Jerry , what the Hell is goin on over there ?
Jerry : Well BVD , it's like this. Having a dysfunctional chairman for half a century takes time to heal.
BVD : W-w-w-what ?
Jerry : Yep. Chairman Thackston was about ass dysfunctional ass one can be. There were so many jokes about him that Vanderbilt actually fired his ass , butt , because he suffered from chronic Brain Farts associated with Tenure , he was immediately re-hired , only to be fired again and again and again and yes , again.
BVD : How many times can a person be fired at Vanderbilt ?
Jerry : That depends on the number of friends you have and how much money you have and how much drugs you spread around. You know , the typical Brown Nose routine. Remember Gee ? Things got so bad around here for Thackston , he was last seen with brown rings around his neck.
BVD : Daaaang ! Now THAT's a Brown Noser ! Hey , I was just looking at this years web site for the ASCE 2011 Conference and nothing I click on works. Why not ?
Jerry : You have to remember , you are dealing with Civil engineers. None of them are civil or even computer tolerant. And today , the Vanderbilt Civil Department is chaired by a Chemical engineer. Besides , it's a sure bet , nobody at Vanderbilt knows what's going on any way and that includes finding someone who even knows what a ASCE is. You have got to remember , you are dealing with Vanderbilt engineering and not a Chinese fire drill.
BVD : The Civil department is chaired by a Chemical engineer ? That's absurd !
Jerry : Welcome to Vanderbilt everyone. And PLEASE , please don't get lost , while looking for MTSU

JAY LENO GIVES PARTY LECTURES TO 2011 ASCE

2011-02-14T01:22:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University - BVD News , it was disclosed today , that The New and Improved and Recycled Tonight Show host , Jay Leno , was seen at the Vanderbilt University Branscomb Quad, giving undergrads pointers on how to party just in time for 2011 ASCE Conference and The Rites of Spring.
Leno stated off the record , " It's important these kids know how to party hardy. "
Later , Ms. Schit , ASCE president who is also engaged to marry (again) Professor Alan Bowers said , " We are so fortunate to have a celebrity of Mr. Leno's caliber drop by. Now we all know how to drink alcohol excessively , while having a good time. " Ms. Schit also remarked that it was no accident having Jay Leno on campus , this early into the school year , she replied , " Having Mr. Cool Jay Leno here right now , allows him to address the ASCE 2011 Student Conference. Historically speaking , Vanderbilt has always sucked at the ASCE conference and the 2011 conference is'nt going to be any different , so learning how to properly drink alcohol in great quantities in front of the other attending colleges and universities , gives the Vanderbilt students an edge with something to excel at and with bragging rights I might add , in the presence of the other SEC schools. "

Ms. Schit later chuckled , "We'll be the envious talk of the town ass we drink them under the banquet table at this year's ASCE Conference. Everyone else may have all of the prizes , butt this , we can excel at."

Undergrads prepare to Leave Vanderbilt

2011-02-11T01:10:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University- BVD News - when Spring semester starts winding down , and the undergrads are getting ready for the great migration to return home. Many will be selling off their stuff , so they won't have to take it with them.

The greatest sale on earth can only be found in THE HUSTLER.

VANDERBILT FRESHMAN HOPEFULS SUCK

2011-02-10T01:53:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University - BVD News - Vanderbilt announced that it was becoming more difficult to recruit qualified freshman for the 2012 class and also needed was more ways to diversify the student body.
During a Greek Greet and Meat , the suggestion was on the floor to look for talented people out side the box.
Hence , Vanderbilt has decided to use a talent agency in Hollywood to help with recruiting and to make entry into the Vanderbilt bubble even more expensive.

Vanderbilt Tenure

2011-02-10T01:01:00.000-08:00

I get questions all the time about Vanderbilt and this one caught my eye - Does having Tenure keep a professor from being fired for having sex with a student?

Yes it can help. Keep in mind , the first step is the university will try to get a confession from the professor which could get him fired regardless. However , if the professor is in good standing with the other faculty members , that professor will most likely keep their position.

You would be surprised at the number of "Daddys" at Vanderbilt. They always have their eye out for "Daddy's Little Girl" and it seems there are plenty around to be found.

Sexual predators are always out there , somewhere. It's just a fact of life we have here in America.

VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY 2011 ASCE on DAVID LETTERMAN

2011-02-09T01:30:00.000-08:00

The Vanderbilt University student chapter vice president for ASCE was on David Letterman last night to demonstrate this years 2011 steel bridge design.
When he discovered he was working on the wrong project , the vice president got a little confused.

ASCE 2011 Student Conference Mystery Event

2011-02-08T01:05:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University - BVD News , ass the count down towards this years ASCE Student Conference draws near , Vanderbilt University students continued wondering what to do. And ass usual , someone got their hands on some study material for this years ASCE 2011 Mystery Event.

Being unable to find a Vanderbilt professor , BVD once again went to Doc. V. , Dean of the PAVE Program , for the Vanderbilt School of Engineering. When asked about this film , Doc. V. replied , " Vanderbilt 's Civil Engineering students have always prided themselves at being resourceful in finding ways to learn new things. For example , they use test files to pass their classroom exams and in this case , they have this film , showing what this years mystery event is. "

BVD : Butt Doc. V. , is'nt the mystery event supposed to be a mystery ?
Doc. V. : Well of course it is stupid , butt , how can our students have a chance to even compete in this event , if they don't know what it is beforehand ?

Vandy ASCE GOES FOR EASY

2011-02-07T01:45:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University - Although it's the month of February. Vanderbilt 's student chapter of the American Society of Civil Engineers , decided they had worked hard enough plagiarizing and basically doing nothing about the upcoming 2011 ASCE student conference. So , Cathy Schit , president of ASCE , decided to have a ASCE pep rally to boost everyone's attitude for the upcoming Vandy vs. UT football game.
Professor Bowers , who is engaged to President Schit , showed up at the rally and broke the sad news that the football game was last year. In addition , Professor Bowers started reminding everyone about all the work still to be done for the ASCE conference.
Things were looking pretty gloomy for the party and partiers when someone mentioned the easy button.
One argument led to another when finally , Professor Bowers caved in , and handed over one million dollars from the Civil Engineering department's budget ( slush fund ) to President Schit to have the EASY button researched . Ms. Schit , having more common sense than Bowers , immediately stuffed the money into her pocket and came forth with her very own EASY button.
In front of an astonished crowd , she pushed the button while making her wish. Although nothing happened , the crowd went wild and the party continued into the next morning.
When asked about her engagement and the money , Ms. Schit replied ," I know a easy mark and EASY money when I see it . Don't tell Bowers. "

Define Sexier Define Beauty

2011-01-26T01:30:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - Don't worry Robin , you still have'nt said anything worth mentioning and you still have'nt worn anything worth looking at. Sooooo , You can stop your hollering now.

So , when will CNN get back to being news worthy?

Hunting Malware

2011-01-24T01:01:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - if it is'nt Franklin Police "Side Jacking" your puter , it's someone else putting some kind of virus , Trojan or other Malware on your puter. I took a test drive on some anti this "n that and here's my opinion:

Spy Bot - I like this and the price is right. The plus side is their support that is second to none.

Avira - nothing BUTT garbage. It won't let you run some apps and/or simply removes them without asking. Does little good otherwise.

Norton - many don't like it because it takes over your puter , but then how else are you gonna watch for stuff? The people at Best Buy sell this all the time BUTT , those very same people wont use it on their own personal puter. What does that tell you?

Ad Aware - this thing will not catch a variety of problems. WOT even says their download site is a Malware problem in itself. In addition , there are some things it will catch BUTT can not remove. After you've had it a while , your puter will suddenly catch a cold and Ad Aware will demand payment to fix it or else.

Where do They Come From ?

2011-01-21T01:22:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt Trauma - you know how some people like to talk about other people and yesterday was just another one of those talking days , when people having nothing better to do , were talking about other people. Some how some where , the universal conversation turned to assholes.
People were asking each other , where do they come from ? Why are they here ? Are they the real aliens everyone worries about ? Are assholes the prelude to an invasion ? Are terrorists really assholes ? Which one does Dick Cheney qualify ass , a terrorist , an asshole or just a plain ole stuck up rectum?

Listening to this , I remembered stories about the Vanderbilt Trauma Manager , Sarah Hutchison. Before becoming the manager , Sarah was considered , by many of her peers , to be an excellent nurse , while working in emergency medicine. Butt , when the " Trauma Manager " position became open , her job performance went to shit and she was rumored to have been engaging in various sex acts with the suits. Apparently , she gives really good snow cones , per the gossip channel in Surgery 1B.

Well , wouldn't you know it , Sarah was hired in , ass the new Trauma Manager , with the former manager walking out the door stating , " He had had enough Vanderbilt Bullshit , enough Vanderbilt Crap and enough Vanderbilt Diarrhea , to outlast many lifetimes , over and over and enough over again. "
And then , one fine day , while sitting in her shiny , new manager's office , Sarah was heard , screaming her lungs out. The scene seen , was pieces of feces , covering the walls , her computer , the door and even on the people who came to help her. People could not stand up straight , for the shit on the floor or for the shit on their shoes and a scene hiding behind her desk , Sarah was seen , skulking and hunkering , down in a corner , her eyes big and bright and filled with fright , until finally , Sarah stopped screaming and began babbling to God about her rectum. " Pleeease God , oh please " , she begged. " Don't SHIT on me any more. Please , I'll do anything you want. " , she cried. " Please , God , please , don't SHIT on me again. Please God , oh please. " , she begged. " Please don't let my rectum, SHIT on me again. Oh please God , stop this SHIT. " , ass she cried , she continued her begging. " Please God , oh please , please help me , please make my rectum stop. I can't , I cannot , oh PLEASE PLEASE oh God , I just can not stand , any more of my own SHIT. " , she stated obtusely arrogant.

God did not answer her , perhaps the stench was just too over whelming. Instead , her rectum reared it's ugly little ass and said , " I'm the boss from now on. You hear me ? I'm the " Brains " around here. Now , you give me any more problems and I'll SHIT all over you again. Understand ? " Sarah nodded her pathetic little head in fearful submission , giving in to her rectum's demands ass her ass immediately traded places with her brain , which was cowering in the deep dark recesses where light nor even smells can not go. Yes , her ass was the boss now.

And from that day forward , Sarah has been a total asshole , to anyone and to everyone , including cats , the dogs and even the beaver tails. Hell , not even her lesbian lovers at work , or her neighbor's husbands at home , or even the dying Trauma patients , were exempt , from Sarah 's rectum's raging fits. Ass it threw shit in all directions , it farted ass it cried and so Sarah , let everyone in her little world know , that ass the world turned , her asshole turned too and since her ass was more important than patient care , she would not hesitate , to shit on anyone , who did not kiss her ass or suck her toes and she was good to her word on that !

Upon learning what kind of manager Sarah turned out to be , Vanderbilt immediately bestowed upon her , a well deserved 13 % pay raise , twice a year , with bonus incentives.

Now then , does this help answer those nagging questions about , " Where do assholes come from ? "

WHY DO VANDERBILT PROFESSORS HAVE TENURE

2011-01-20T01:32:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University and Medical Center - my my my , the questions I get about Vanderbilt.

Tenure basically provides a professor with a 10 year grace period during which he/she cannot be fired , period.
Vanderbilt of course , has gone the extra step to Ensure a professor can not be fired regardless of how long they have been around , just ass long ass they were tenured in the first place and today of course , tenure will transfer from university to university , thus allowing a professor to move around in search for better Pussy Hunting grounds.

Here's an example of how tenure works:

Once upon a time (you know a story is true when it starts with "Once upon a time" ) , a Vanderbilt professor got into trouble with some parents , claiming his art class was pornographic. The objectionable material was a simple water color showing a female's backside and nothing more. Despite not having a hint of ass or even tit in the picture , like a coin , this story too has 2 sides. In actuality , a co-ed's parents were complaining about this professor's manners in bed. It seems their child had allowed this guy to take her virginity and he was rather rough , tough and totally UN-professional about it , thus placing the parents in a rather uncomfortable and distraught frame of mind. Despite the fact these people had spread some money around , they were unable to hire the right person to fire this professor.

Now you know how Tenure works.

And to finally put a happy ending on this story while making everyone else happy in the process , it was finally agreed upon , the professor would attend in bed sensitivity lectures and the co-ed would have her virginity restored thru cosmetic surgery at Vanderbilt expense.

Tenure allows a professor to keep their job without any trouble. That's all there is to it. Now , any more questions?

TEXTING FOR SENIORS

2011-01-19T01:18:00.000-08:00

Are you getting too old to spell out the words for a message? Have you forgot how to spell the words? Are you getting to old to even remember what you were doing? Well remember no more because now there's text messaging help for seniors.

Enjoy :)

TEXTING FOR SENIORS

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears

to be a need for a STC

(Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is

the code for you:.

Please pass this on to your CHILDREN and Grandchildren so they can

understand your texts.

ATD: At The Doctor's

BFF: Best Friend Farted

BTW: Bring The Wheelchair

BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM: Covered By Medicare

CGU: Can't get up

CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center

DWI: Driving While Incontinent

FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers

FWIW: Forgot Where I Was

FYI: Found Your Insulin

GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

GHA: Got Heartburn Again

HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL: Living On Lipitor

LWO: Lawrence Welk's On

OMMR: On My Massage Recliner

OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.

PIMP: Pooped in my pants

ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up

SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop

TTYL: Talk To You Louder

WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again

WTP: Where's The Prunes?

WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

GLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)

Interneters Beware of Malware

2011-01-19T01:02:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - if it's not the police trying to get "US" killed , it's someone out to get our information thru the internet using Malware and Spyware. Here are the latest threats to your computer and Smart Phones. YES your Smart Phone is your number one threat to your personal security and it's the 3rd most popular item that thieves are stealing these days.

MSNBC- yes people , the ever popular NBC tv company is also on the internet and it is a major threat to your computer. Hotmail sells your email address and also sells anything suspicious you send them. Do you ever look at your Junk Box and mark certain messages to send to MSN to investigate? That's right folks , MSN sells these to the person who sent you that message. Also , have you ever noticed some messages do not have your email address on them BUTT you still get them anyway? Yes people , Hotmail is on their side.

In the past I have always enjoyed looking at other folks Blogs BUTT now I can't even do that anymore. Take for instance , "patrified.blogspot.com". This blog puts something into your registry and takes down your puter.

I don't know what it is about AOL , but everytime I go there , my puter gets all kinds of infections while using Internet Explorer.

Just because you use Mozilla does not make you any more safer to surf.

Now a days , people are switching to Safari and guess what? The Malware is starting to pop up there as well.

There are several sites that offer picture service and they attach Trojans and Key loggers onto them and of course those pictures are shared around the world and this stuff gets spread along with them.

Of course , the one thing to look out for is being redirected away from the site you thought you were going to. Someone has made a mirror site for Ebay and so far , nothing has been done to correct it.

HELP for WOLVERINE

2011-01-18T01:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we all need a little help. For example , take Wolverine here. Once again , he's outta hot air. Can you figure out how to help him?

Wolverine: Help me , help me

Going International

2011-01-17T01:43:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University Engineering School - BVD News - A blogger in France emailed this , saying it's based on Vanderbilt 's Engineering Professor Speece at the School of Engineering.

The idea was stolen from my blog.

VU Associate Wins genius Award

2011-01-14T01:10:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University - BVD News that's better than anything The Hustler ever put out , associate professor Kenneth Catania has won a cool half million dollars for being a genius with mole brains. Although claiming he's not very smart , that other Tennessean paper said the money proves otherwise. Feeling guilty , Professor Catania came forward and disclosed the truth behind his achievements. Pictured with the professor is a unknown animal life form that Catania found by accident in Vanderbilt 's nuclear power plant located in Vanderbilt Medical Center North basement. Both were interviewed by David Letterman. The creature's I.Q. is a mathematical unknown , mole brains are it's main staple and although it's an illegal , he speaks the English language fluently
Professor Catania later remarked , " By feeding this thing mole brains , I've accumulated a bunch of recipes. Now that I've got this money , I can now become published and travel the world to teach people that mole brains are a culinary delight. "
When asked about his research , Catania responded , " Research ? What research ? I was cooking for this little guy because he was hungry. His favorite foods are mole brains. "

Vanderbilt Professor Can Afford New Gas Hikes

2011-01-12T01:28:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University School of Engineering - BVD News instead of the Hustler - With gas prices reaching for the 5 dollar altitude , this sight was seen outside the engineering building this morning ass Professor Bowers tried out his new approach to buying gas for his old car.

Student: Is'nt that the same ole Homeless Looking Guy we saw on Frat Row last night trying to pick up us Co-Eds?
Another student: Hmmm , I can't really tell. All these horny professors look a lot a like to me. Oh hey , how are your grades so far this semester?
Student: What are you talking about? The semester just started.
Another student: Oh , that's right. Huh , well , I guess that explains why the professors have also just started hitting on us girls (giggling)
Student: (also giggling) Hee Hee Hee , Yeeeeaaah! I'm already expecting an " A " for Engineering Math 101
Another student: Oh wow , don't do that. For a moment I thought you were going to say you were expecting.
Student: (giggling) Not yet. I'm still looking for the "Right Professor"
Another student: Yeah (giggling) me too!

VANDERBILT SALARY GUIDE

2011-01-10T01:30:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University and the Medical Center - I have certainly poked a lot of fun at Vanderbilt over the past few years and Vanderbilt has certainly been busy harassing me for it. Meanwhile , I really do get questions that are sometimes worth mentioning an answer. Take this one for example-

Question - Why does Vanderbilt habitually pay so low?

Answer - Typically speaking , the manager posting the job also controls the pay. It works like this: The less you pay those working under you , the more you make at the end of the year in bonuses. Here's how their little game works. Let's say a job position is allocated $10.00 dollars/Hr. for someone to work in your department. Since you manage the department , you have the authority to decide what to pay that lowlife degenerate. Let's say you advertise the job @ $7.00 dollars/Hr. and thus your in-basket becomes flooded with applications. During the interview process , it's your discretion to give more than the advertised pay or perhaps give a little extra to get the person you want. You know , let them think they negotiated a pay raise , BUTT , you and I know better , right? Many Vanderbilt Managers just pay what the listing says and Fuck'Em if they don't like it. There's always someone else willing to take up that empty space for some ridiculously stupid low hourly pay rate and besides , Managers also have those little extra selling incentives called Vanderbilt Benefits that look so incredibly great on paper , BUTT , they can't be used because in the real world , they don't exist.

NOW , here's the sweet spot for the manager. They can set that money aside and grab it at the end of the year for their bonus. That $3.00 dollars/Hr. adds up quickly at the rate of $120.00 dollars per week , I'm a telling you people , that money is all theirs'. HEH HEH HEH Of course , the Manager can also play with the books so they can give a much higher pay to their favorite Pets. You'd be surprised how many "Pet Clubs" exist inside the Vandy Bubble and the pay is ridiculously outrageous. An excellent example of a "Pet Club" is found on the Vanderbilt Trauma floor under the managerial direction of Sarah Hutchison.

Note: on the university side , employees are supposed to receive a minimum 5% raise which usually amounts to a nickle pay raise. Well , a nickle is 5% of a dollar is it not? This is Engineering Math101 stuff for crying out loud.

Note: Can you imagine the bonus for Managers having 10+ people in their department? What do you think the bonus will be for a Manager running a department having people filling 24Hr. shifts everyday of the week , rain or shine and regardless of holidays or someone's birthday.

OKay. Now you know the truth ass to why Vanderbilt is consistently and always Tennessee's largest, Number One lowest paying employer.

Next question please.

It's Doing WHAT ! ? ! ? !

2011-01-08T01:05:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD and I were PUBLIX shopping this morning , when a stampede occurred. Little ole ladies were trampled , people in wheelchairs were knocked over. Lesbians were climbing the shelves , screaming their fool head off , ass their lovers were torn from their grasp. Grocery carts were abandoned , ass piles of food began to spoil and abandoned babies cried out for their mommies. The store manager was lying on the floor , bleeding to death , from foot ruts across his chest. People were sword fighting , with the free PUBLIX umbrellas. People en mass , were outside , pushing and stomping on each other's ass , trying to get a better picture of the sky , using their cell phones. Heads were cracking under those PUBLIX umbrellas while those without an umbrella just cussed away. Vehicles were smashing into lamp poles. A fat woman was being dragged away by an SUV , her panty hose had snagged on the gas cover. Suddenly , everyone remembered the liquor store next door and the crowd went wild. The crowd of people was so thick , no one could come or go at the entrance , ass the sound of breaking glass was heard over the police megaphone. Yes , while watching the doors come down , Franklin Police decided it was best for them , to stay far and away from what was happening , scared for their lives and with no one to lead them. It was during this moment of public panic , while watching the wheels being stripped off the shopping carts , the police realized , TACO BELL was all alone and with the doors being open , something had to be done , like right now , ass in immediately , to protect private property for taxes. Soooo , they went to dinner. In the massive confusion , none of the WAM reporters , knew what to do. The only thing , WAM's top gun reporter , Mitchel n D'Kline could do , was spit on the ground , ass he watched his favorite police department chow down. What in the name of Hell was going on , ass Jay Johnson was seen , screaming at people to push him , while sitting on a piece of card board ?

It was snowing ! ! ! ! !

And would'nt ya know it. KA threw a snowball at his friend , JJ. Oh the horror that followed. Seeing BVD , JJ cried out for help. In spite of himself and being frozen to the ground , all BVD could do , was watch and laugh , saying , " DAMN ! ! A KODAK moment and no camera. "

You would think these Damn Yankees had seen snow before.

CLONING AT VANDERBILT SUCCESSFUL

2011-01-06T01:41:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University Medical Center - BVD News instead of The Hustler - It was announced today at the Med Center about the latest success in cloning.
Doc Morris said " We've already cloned engineering professors and decided to go to the next level. "
BVD asked if it could speak and Morris replied " No not yet , we may used too much of Chairman Thackston with the primitive primate primordial ooze , butt , we are still hopeful. Since Obama does'nt know anything about these experiments , Frist was able to get us another 5 billion for research. Currently , we are planning to clone a president that has the ability to think , butt , that project is years away due to problems with gray matter photosynthesis found to be benevolent in both Bush's and other forms of former president's DNA. "
Doc Morris declined comment about cloning more Blue People or even about rumors trying to help Cumberland University with it's own present day Thackston problem.

A Solution To Immigration

2011-01-05T01:00:00.000-08:00

The immigration problem in this country has a solution. MAYBE

NEW EAR , NOSE , THROAT , PROCEDURE DEVELOPED at VANDERBILT

2011-01-04T01:18:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University Medical Center - BVD First in News instead of The Hustler - Today , Vanderbilt announced a new procedure for examining people's ears , noses , throats and other areas of patient complaints.
For the past 10 years , people have complained about the ever increasing costs of health insurance which has been medically linked to an increase of patient complaints. Ass a way to examine the patient complaint further and deeper , Vanderbilt's very owned med students have developed several new invasive procedures guaranteed to get to the root of the complaining problem.
Pictured is first year med student " 12 Fingers " Smitty , from North Carolina. While probing a rich and famous celebrity cadaver in Vanderbilt 's Medical School , Smitty fingered and probed an undisclosed orifice and pulled out a money bag containing one million dollars. Professor Art quickly took credit for the find and for the development of the new examination procedures.
Smitty explained to the Hustler that these new E N T procedures are not covered under the provisional and conventional HMO's currently provided for Vanderbilt employee health care.

The Cost of Your Prescriptions

2011-01-03T01:14:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - getting to a serious note here. Everyone is screaming about their health costs and insurance going up , along with the costs of prescription medicines. There are people telling others where to go to get their drugs cheaper.
Well , here's the inconvenient truth of the matter. All pharmacies charge the same price. I'll say that one more time. All pharmacies charge the same price.
It's the difference in insurance companies that makes the pharmacies charge differently. You see , it's like this. Not all insurance companies are the same. Not all insurance companies negotiate with every pharmacy for drug pricing. That's why some people pay more for drugs than others. That's why some people can only get their drugs thru mail order and now Obama says we all will buy insurance so things will be changing for 2012.
Sooooooooo , here's what I did before writing this piece. Since I'm blessed and can go to any pharmacy and pay the same co-pay price , I wanted to randomly check what services the pharmacies provide around town. There's no preferred treatment here. Just the cold hard facts.

Bradley Drug Company , Phil Bradley , owner - located in Nashville , 383 - 2741. They stock a large inventory. If they don't have it , they will need 5 days or more to get it in. They DELIVER for free , even to Franklin. They will come to your house for the scripts , and the next day , they will return with your meds. You read correctly. Bradley DELIVERS for free. When you call they haul and you will get a real human being on the phone. Be patient , they are very busy.

Wal Mart - located in Franklin , 771 - 0391. They stock a regular inventory and it takes the following Friday to get what they don't have. When you call , you will talk to a real human being. They don't deliver so don't ask.

COSTCO - located in Brentwood. They have a 10 minute recording. I don't know if there is anybody home.

Allenhill Pharmacy - (things are screwy over there and I recommend caution when using them) 790 - 3885 Do not expect them to return your phone calls or notify you if/when your items are ready. Although next day service is available , don't get your hopes up that your stuff will arrive despite being told it's on order and will be here tomorrow. They do offer a home delivery service for a 5 dollar fee. Their driver is well known for being "Goofy" most of the time.

OK. There ya go. Just pick up the phone book and ask around what your drug will cost. Also , keep in mind , some drugs come in tablet ( pill ) AND sucker ( lolli pop ) form. Some drugs out there will make you cuss bloody assed murder because they are made with battery acid. If that's the case , well , " just add a spoonfull of sugar and hope the medicine will go down. "

Short Wave Listening Brings in the New Year

2010-12-31T01:39:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - someone asked , what do they need , to listen to short wave. Here's a pic of my set up.
This big radio is 30 years old and out performs the new , digital type radio , sitting next to it.
When buying a short wave , be sure it has SSB with BFO. Otherwise , you are just getting a plain ole simple radio , that will miss out , on a lot of action.
Another important point to ponder is:

A good short wave , will not have FM stereo. Yes , there's a very good reason for it.

Keep in mind , you can spend all the money you want on short wave listening. Just remember , that buying a used radio is like buying a used Ford from Barry Alexander , you don't really know what you're getting , until it's too late to return it. In America these days and Franklin ass well , you no longer get , what you thought you had bought.

Several days later:

Note: Since putting this post up several days ago , I've been asked about the DX-150 and why they did not get the DX-160 , which they thought they were buying in the first place. ANSWER - I do not understand why I'm being asked this question since I did not sell this item to them. OKay , to satisfy other questions , here's a list of Realistic 's DX family of short wave radios.

DX-100 is the first of the DX series.
DX-120 replaced the 100. It has a bigger cabinet and no speaker.
DX-150 replaced the 120. There is also an "A" and "B" version. The insides are supposed to be better and/or improved.
DX-160 is the last of the Big Boy , DX family. It has the "A" band which today , is not used much. In the past , there were marine and weather stations. If you 've got the antenna , you might catch a Canadian station on "A" , in the morning hours.
Today's DX radios have replaced the analog read outs with LCDs. Also , the reason these old radios have large cabinets is because they are in between technologies of vacuum tubes and solid state electronics. They do have the strings. Which is another reason to be careful.

Of all of the new DX models , the best and favorite is without question , the DX-440.

All of the early DX radios are now considered collectible. Today , these are 30+ years old and so naturally , many are now rusty looking. There are people who put fresh paint on them and sell 'em like "MINTY" new. Of course , they won't tell you about the fresh paint job. Another problem are the small gauge wires used in production. Today , they are easy to break , just with careful handling. The plastic insulation has become brittle which in turn , breaks the wire , which in turn breaks the radio.

Good Luck in buying a radio and "Happy Hunting" , for those DX stations. There are plenty to find on band "D" and the long wire is a MUST HAVE

Franklin Police Party Jokes

2010-12-31T01:08:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD's Party Jokes - with so many people celebrating the New Year , there's always someone who wants to look back and make fun of "Our" police department. Well , why not? Afterall , they do it to themselves all the time. They Shit on people and then wonder why those very people don't respect them. Here's an example of what I'm talking about. This joke is based on an occurrence that happened here in town between an officer and a company exect on business.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

2010-12-30T01:43:00.000-08:00

Well people , America does need some kind of an angle to be productive these days.

Right?

Franklin Gets Civil War Apware

2010-12-29T01:34:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - here's the latest tech toy for those people too cheap to visit Franklin faux Civil War Battlefields. This Smart Phone Ap applies to Androids and iPhones. And guess what folks? It's a freebie which means don't go running over to your favorite Franklin Police officer and buy it. Yes , you'd be amazed how many wealthy Franklinites have already gone out of their way to buy it just so they could be the first on their block to have it.
Enjoy!

Video courtesy WSMV

HAPPY HANUKKAH HOLIDAYS

2010-12-28T01:43:00.000-08:00

"ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE"

Threats To Homeland Security Review For 2010

2010-12-27T01:18:00.000-08:00

While surfing around the net , I found this. I had no idea our Canook friends were a threat to "US". I wonder how that is. Meanwhile , the real threats are to our jobs. "Our" government keeps shipping the jobs out of country which slowly dissolves the middle class into nothing. This country will eventually have two classes. The Rich and The Poor and nobody in between. "If "Our" country can not be free from threats from within then it's ridiculous to worry about threats from the outside" - this is a quote from a middle class poor man.

2010 - the year in review, in terms of threats to homeland security

The following review interprets and determines threat levels regarding the relevant ongoing concerns.

Threat #1: Job Security

Despite constant threats to Job Security during 2009 and early 2010, Employment has remained intact. Current threats to Employment include long-standing political attacks on humanities, specifically philosophy, and ongoing state budget crises, coupled with withdrawal of public support for public universities. A new three-year "temporary" appointment was obtained in August, however, continuing state budget issues and local campus fiscal irregularities create an environment in which insurgency should be anticipated.

Threat Level: Yellow ("Elevated"). California's large budget deficit will continue to threaten Job Security for at least the remainder of this three-year "temporary" appointment. In addition, bargaining between the CFA and CSU point to emergent threats.

Threat #2: Health

Local conditions have resulted in resurgence of both depression and anxiety, culminating in two adverse events during 2010. In June, an outbreak of anxiety led to a full-scale panic attack on a commercial flight bound for NYC-JFK, forestalled only through the heroic efforts of on-board civilian medical personnel. In October, a depression insurgency arose; however, counter-insurgency by NaNoWriMo forces prevented any significant gains by the enemy.

In response to the panic attack, a summer program of health review and restoration was undertaken, with positive results including a wide reduction in stress, decreasing resting heart rate, and general improvements to preparedness. The October plot was undermined successfully as well.

Ongoing local threats include Feline-centered Urinary Tract threats, as well as Loveliest-Targeted threats that have, thus far, remained impervious to intelligence efforts.

Threat Level: Yellow ("Elevated"). It remains unclear when, if, or how these enemy covert operations may be launched. Constant surveillance continues to be necessary.

Threat #3: Canadians

It remains clear, as 2010 nears its close, that the biggest single threat to local security conditions in this area is posed by Canadians. The nature and extent of the threat is considered so serious that no detail of any kind, and no vague allusion of any kind, may be provided in this report, for fear of undermining security and intelligence efforts in this area.

Threat Level: Red ("Severe").

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010

2010-12-24T13:42:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - with more snow on the way , I thought I'd share some Christmas cheer while you go for a hayride around the net.

MERRY CHRISTMAS NAIF and a HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and yours

Hotmail Fights The War On Scam Spam

2010-12-23T14:53:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - have you noticed on your Hotmail account , there is a phishing scam for certain emails to click on and Hotmail will check it to see where it comes from and block it from happening again. This is just one part of the BIG War on how they are fighting the war on spam scam.

Have you noticed , the more scam spam you turn in , the more your junk mailbox fills up?

That's because for every spam scam you turn in , Hotmail sells your name and email address to those very marketers who are sending you that very same phishing spam scam.

How's that for making money off your tired ass this holiday season?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Conan Gets His Robot Chicken

2010-12-15T07:19:00.000-08:00

Conan keeps circling the drain and the only way these days for him to get a laugh is for him to give up his own ass.

Perhaps this is how he got another show for not cable. Maybe that would be funny to see.

MERRY CHRISTMAS CONAN

Franklin Police Host Wedding

2010-12-13T01:26:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD News a top the new Franklin Police building (I'll bet you did'nt know there was a pool on the roof did you? )

BVD: That might help with the fish odor
Jerry: Yeah , well at least the dishes are clean.

Anti Jewish Remarks at Vanderbilt

2010-12-12T01:07:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt Medical Center , Nashville , Tennessee - We all know about Mel Gibson and his remarks toward Jews. We all know the news publicity he got from those remarks. We all know the out cry from those with hurt feelings.

Lets go to the Vanderbilt Hospital and check on something :
Sarah Hutchison is the Vanderbilt Trauma Manager. She has openly bragged that being a Vanderbilt Manager , she can talk about anyone she pleases and she can make any remark about anyone she pleases and her remarks include Jews and there ain't Shit nobody can do about it , because she is a Vanderbilt Manager.

My question is - if Mel Gibson was a Vanderbilt Manager , would his remarks be ignored ?

Trauma's Manager

2010-12-11T01:17:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt Medical Center , Vanderbilt Trauma Floor - aka. , the ER on da 10th floor. BVD was on a tour of Vanderbilt , and the Trauma Floor was on the ticket. Sarah Hutchison , Vanderbilt Trauma Manager , led the way.

BVD : Um , Sarah , why is that patient being cared for by just one person ? I see other patients with 3 or more nurses.
Sarah : Well , that person is a veteran and I want him to work alone. When he finishes there , he will work on another patient and so on , so forth , yada yada yada , ect.
BVD : Why ? Would 'nt it be better , if he had some help ? Would 'nt it be better for the patient
Sarah : Well of course it would , butt , I want him to quit. I want him gone out of here. So , I'm going to work his ass into the ground , until he walks right on out of here. Hee hee hee hee ! snicker snicker
BVD : May I ask what you have against veterans ?
Sarah : They are all baby killers. That guy you asked about was in Nam. I'll bet he can't count how many babies he killed for the fun of it.
BVD : Some how I don't see that. I'll bet you , he did not go over there , because he wanted to. How do you feel about veterans in Iraq ?
Sarah : They are all heroes. Every God blessed one of them. They are fighting for my freedom.
BVD : Well , what about all the dead babies in Iraq ?
Sarah : I know their health care is'nt ass good ass it is here and I know Hussein killed many babies during his reign of terror.
BVD : That was not my question. Why is a Viet Nam veteran a baby killer and not an Iraqi veteran ?
Sarah : Because veterans have rules these days. Why are we having this absurd conversation ? Besides , that guy is just another grunt.
BVD : Do you know the meaning of the word , " grunt " ?
Sarah : Yeah , LOOSER !
BVD : Not quite.
Sarah : ?
BVD : It means he is better than you.
Sarah : I don't see it.
BVD : Of course you don't. A person like you can't.

Kissing Causes of Deaf

2010-12-10T01:42:00.000-08:00

Chinese girl gets 'kiss of deaf'

Couples are advised to "proceed with caution"

A young Chinese woman was left partially deaf following a passionate kiss from her boyfriend.

The 20-something from Zhuhai in Guangdong province arrived at hospital having completely lost the hearing in her left ear, said local reports.

The incident prompted a series of articles in the local media warning of the dangers of excessive kissing.

"While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution," wrote the China Daily.

The doctor who treated the girl in hospital was quoted in the paper explaining what had happened.

"The kiss reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear."

The chorus of warnings was echoed by the Shanghai Daily, which wrote: "A strong kiss may cause an imbalance in the air pressure between two inner ears and lead to a broken ear drum."

The young woman is expected to regain her full hearing within about two months.

Whats Your History?

2010-12-09T01:44:00.000-08:00

one of the less known google products is web history

if you are signed into any google product and then continue surfing the web,
web history keeps track of all the pages you've visited and when, and the searches you did on Google.

by signing into web history, you can retrieve websites you've previously visited
find out how many searches you executed between 10 - 2 AM on a certain day, etc

Wanna Job ?

2010-12-08T01:47:00.000-08:00

Calling the unemployed! Do you like pool parties, sun tan lotion and hotties?

If so, the South Beach Ritz-Carlton has a position for you: tanning butler. One caveat: Ladies need not apply; this job usually goes to hunky male models.

You could be the South Beach Ritz-Carlton's next tanning butler.

The Ritz will be posting the gig on Craigslist and in the Miami Herald in the next few days, and it expects a deluge of response.

"We're looking to fill the position immediately with someone who's outgoing, positive, energetic and recognizes the role as a brand ambassador," said Ritz-Carlton PR gal Michelle Payer, who invented the position in 2004.

The lucky guy gets paid $20 an hour plus tips to slather sunscreen and spritz Evian on beach-going Ritz guests. Plus, the hours aren't too bad: Friday through Sunday, noon to 4 p.m., at the beach and on the pool deck.

The position requires a uniform, however -- an official "Tanning Butler" T-shirt and holster for carrying bottles of sunscreen -- so you can differentiate between the official butler and creeps trying to get frisky.

The last tanning butler -- there's only one in the world at a time -- vacated the position for an Armani modeling gig in Italy. And get this -- he left on Monday without even giving two weeks notice!

Interested jobseekers should e-mail their headshot and cover letter to Jennifer.Steinmark@ritzcarlton.com.

Oh, and if you'd like a tanning butler T-shirt, the Ritz sells them for $29.50 a piece. So you, too, can convince the ladies -- or gents -- that you're qualified to apply sunscreen.

Dinosaur Hospital

2010-12-07T01:11:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD News for adults - for those who have'nt heard , Adult Swim has rented out some unused and very much un-needed space at the new Franklin Police Headquarters building , located in Downtown Franklin , on the Newer "New" Southern side of Downtown on the way towards Metro-Columbia.

In a good-news news release , Adult Swim is proud to announce the filming of "Dinosaur Hospital". This new good humor for adults show has been filming for the past 3 months in secret. Now that it's learned that Franklin Police can't keep a secret , the word is now out about this new show.

The show is about a doctor working in a hospital and the patients are all dinosaurs. This show is expected to be a hit amongst our younger adult viewer audience in the age groups of 44 to 60 year olds.

The "Dinosaur Hospital" premier airs on February 18 , 2011. Be there or be square or watch TV out in the cold.

BVD: Hey Jerry , tell me something
Jerry: I have told you a lot of somethings. What is on your mind now? I think you smoked everything in the house. What the Hell? Even my bag is empty
BVD: Do patients get better care here or at Vanderbilt Trauma?
Jerry: Well , the Trauma Floor is also known ass the gossiping floor under the Sarah Hutchison physiology management program.
BVD: Hmmm , does'nt sound like there is much patient care going on there to me
Jerry: Nope , there's no time for it , butt her Pet Club does have plenty of time to grab ass and even more time to take breaks for watching TV and smoke something other than cigarettes
BVD: Damn , where do I sign up?
Jerry: If you like to Rat-Fuck people behind their backs and tell lies too , then you are on your way Big Guy.

Got Drugs?

2010-12-07T01:10:00.000-08:00

Franklin , Tennessee - here's the latest in town gossip - Hey Dude , can you spare a joint or something? If you are Franklin Police then you've heard it all before and know where this remark comes from. Well , it looks like those Happy Days are now gone forever .

Here in Tennessee , doctor shopping was the in thing to do for maintaining your drug habit. Then everything changed with TennCare because people were talking to the news media about their monthly drug buying plan which caused the Shit to roll down hill. (now if they would just stop those multiple Social Security checks every month)

Effective this month in Florida , doctor shopping will also close down. This means all of those trains from Kentucky will no longer be running their Southern routes or thru Tennessee.

However , the word on the street at the moment is the pill mills in Florida need buyers. When they shut down for good , there will be very few eligible people to sell their wares too. That's right boys and girls. These mills are going to get caught with plenty of stores on hand that they can't sell.

So , there's your Christmas idea for this year. Give what people want the most. Good Times!

And remember , you did'nt hear this from me.

In Appropriate Hutchison

2010-12-06T01:23:00.000-08:00

Vanderbilt University Medical Center , Nashville , Tennessee - another person stepped up to the plate telling me how inappropriate my blog is too Vanderbilt University , sooo , let's go to the Vanderbilt Med Center and visit the Trauma floor , aka , Vanderbilt ER on the 10th floor.
Here we find Sarah Hutchison , Manager of the Trauma Floor. She has openly bragged about how being a Vanderbilt Manager , she can talk about anybody , anyway she pleases , and there's nothing anybody can do about it. Sarah has said some nasty things about people and openly laughed about it. Being a Vanderbilt Manager , she cannot be fired for her remarks. Keep in mind , she also represents Vanderbilt views.
Imus was fired for his " Harry Ho " remarks , while Sarah stays within Vanderbilt protective bubble.
Now that's inappropriate !