AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

Franklin , Tennessee - for all those people bitching about COMCASTIC COMCAST , now is the time to make your voice heard. For a limited time , you , ( yes you and that includes YOU too, over there in a corner reading this ) can make your voice heard.

Just call COMCAST and take their survey. There is a 5 star raring to use with each question and at the end , you can record your piece or peace.

This is the time to bitch your concerns about lack of service and other COMCASTIC problems. So , why is COMCAST doing this , you might ask ? Simple. Can you say AT&T ? Yep , the thought of competition is keeping the CEO up late at night :)

BVD : Hey , uh , ummm , Jerry , how did you know COMCAST is doing this ?
Jerry : I called them again to complain about my lack of service
BVD : I see. Hmmm , I would think with ass many times ass you've called them , they would know by now , they have a problem
Jerry : Yep

Vanderbilt University , BVD News - Professor Bowers , Vanderbilt University School of Engineering , was caught dressed in drag , at a sorority party , at Towers II. Turns out this was a lesbian party. While playing a game of spin the bottle , it became obvious , that he was not what they thought she was. Bowers was immediately tossed out the window.

Vanderbilt University Medical Center , Vanderbilt Trauma Department , Nashville , Tennessee - BVD Medical News was there , when Vanderbilt Trauma Doc , Doctor. Morris , PhD , MD , PiLeD , and AiD with a Phys EdD in e minor , developed a scientific eye sight method , by using recycled and implanted , cadaver eyeballs , to observe what the traumatized victim sees , from their trauma bed , while teaching undergrad students , traumatic surgery for traumatic category disorders , that are associated with those traumatic incidents , that lead to missing traumatic brain wave instability improbabilities , in the traumatically traumatized , bean brained victim.

During an interview with Trauma Doc Morris , he stated , " This is just the beginning , to a whole new era , in scientific trauma and traumatically related , traumatized injuries needing surgery and for the pursuit of scientific happiness associated with trauma research , intertwined co-connectively with other necessitive medically related excuses , that give doctors , like me for example , more say in handling today 's modern medical problems , that are commonly found , in my dealings with the little people I usually find , lying on my surgical table , while I'm trying to play cards with my favorite nurses. OK ? Look , it's really all about my personal needs you see. I really do need to see , what I'm doing to the patient and this gives me the eyes to do that very thing. "

BVD : So , are these traumatic , traumatizing surgical procedures , similar to the one shown , used on all of your traumatized , bean brained victims ?
Doc. Morris : Oh no , no , nooooo , no , of course not. Traumatic surgeries , like the one shown here , are for the bean brained idiotic victims without insurance. You see , those with insurance can usually afford scalpels.

I have updated this post because of the email received. Our government has passed this new law concerning the use/prescription of any narcotic drug. This new law is trickling down into every insurance company across this country and if you are on any NARCOTIC , you will get hit with this. Contact your insurance now , before you get hit with it and you run out of your drugs. Get your case number immediately and take it to your doctor to be taken care of. This is done to catch those people seeing multiple doctors to get multiple scripts. If you are an honest American , you've nothing to worry about.

To keep this dated and updated , I will add more information as it comes in. I've been emailed today , this is also part of new data bases being added , to bring into light , more information about Americans. President Bush felt more was needed and so now , the government wants to know who is doing what narcotics , the doctors prescribing , the insurance and the coverage ,and costs to consumers


I know I'll get in trouble for telling the world this , butt , here goes. If you had regular doctor visits and drug scripts last year , you had better check your health insurance for changes. Insurance companies all across this nation are making changes without any regards of informing their customers.

So , just what the Hell is going on ? Our government has decided too many people are double dipping in " Headley " grade drugs ( anything narcotic ) . This includes a person seeing more than one doctor ( drug source ) on a regular basis , for the same drugs. In other words , " double multiple dipping ". Sooo , there is now in place , a 3 step procedure , your doctor has to take care of. You can expect your amount of drugs prescribed , to be lowered to government standards or even be totally cut off , until this is done. The reason your insurance may not tell you about this is because it's a government thing and not a insurance thing. Sooo , let the gov tell you about it , right ?

Also keep in mind , these changes reflect a 23 day month and not the usual 30 day month on your calendar.

BVD : Duh , ummm , Jerry , what is going on with the gov using a 23 day month ?
Jerry : The gov does'nt work on weekends , therefore , " you " do not need a doctor or drugs during weekend hours. By placing people within this calendar system , saves the gov and insurance companies , money
BVD : A 23 day month. You've over done your drugs again , have'nt you
Jerry : No and I'm not kidding. You had better check for those surprises now , before you get both barrels between the eyes.
BVD : OKaaaaaay , I will :) Ummm , Jerry , I was wondering , who's responsible for this kind of stupid , dysfunctional , decision making ?
Jerry : Well , ummmm , it was President Bush and his Congress , who signed this into law.
BVD : You're putting me on
Jerry : ( slowly shakes his head ) No , afraid not , I'm sorry to say

Franklin , Tennessee & Vanderbilt Trauma - you know how people like to talk about people and yesterday was just another one of those days , when people having nothing better to do , were talking about other people. Some how some where , the universal conversation turned to assholes.
People were asking each other , where do they come from ? Why are they here ? Are they the real aliens everyone worries about ? Are assholes the prelude to an invasion ? Are terrorists really assholes ? Which one does Dick Cheney qualify ass , a terrorist , an asshole or just a plain ole rectum?

Listening to this , I remembered stories about the Vanderbilt Trauma Manager , Sarah Hutchinson. Before becoming the manager , Sarah was considered , by many of her peers , to be an excellent nurse , while working in emergency medicine. Butt , when the " Trauma Manager " position became open , her job performance went to shit and she was rumored to have been engaging in various sex acts with the suits. Apparently , she gives really good snow cones , per the gossip channel in Surgery 1B.

Well , wouldn't you know it , Sarah was hired in , ass the new Trauma Manager , with the former manager walking out the door stating , " He had had enough Vanderbilt Bullshit , enough Vanderbilt Crap and enough Vanderbilt Diarrhea , to outlast many lifetimes , over and over and enough over again. "
And then , one fine day , while sitting in her shiny , new manager's office , Sarah was heard , screaming her lungs out. The scene seen , was pieces of feces , covering the walls , her computer , the door and even on the people who came to help her. People could not stand up straight , for the shit on the floor or for the shit on their shoes and a scene hiding behind her desk , Sarah was seen , skulking and hunkering , down in a corner , her eyes big and bright and filled with fright , until finally , Sarah stopped screaming and began babbling to God about her rectum. " Pleeease God , oh please " , she begged. " Don't shit on me any more. Please , I'll do anything you want. " , she cried. " Please , God , please , don't shit on me again. Please God , oh please. " , she begged. " Please don't let my rectum, shit on me again. Oh please God , stop this shit. " , ass she cried , she continued her begging. " Please God , oh please , please help me , please make my rectum stop. I can't , I cannot , oh please God , I just can not stand , any more of my own shit. " , she stated obtusely arrogant.

God did not answer her , perhaps the stench was just too over whelming. Instead , her rectum reared it's ugly little ass and said , " I'm the boss from now on. You hear me ? I'm the " Brains " around here. Now , you give me any problems and I'll shit all over you again. Understand ? " Sarah nodded her pathetic little head in fearful submission , giving in to her rectum's demands ass her ass immediately traded places with her brain , which was cowering in the deep dark recesses where light or even smells can not go. Yes , her ass was the boss now.

And from that day forward , Sarah has been a total asshole , to anyone and to everyone , including cats , the dogs and even the beaver tails. Hell , not even her lesbian lovers at work , or her neighbor's husbands at home , or even the dying Trauma patients , were exempt , from Sarah 's rectum's raging fits. Ass it threw shit in all directions , it farted ass it cried and so Sarah , let everyone in her little world know , that ass the world turned , her asshole turned too and since her ass was more important than patient care , she would not hesitate , to shit on anyone , who did not kiss her ass or suck her toes and she was good to her word on that !

Upon learning what kind of manager Sarah turned out to be , Vanderbilt immediately bestowed upon her , a well deserved 13 % pay raise , twice a year , with bonus incentives.

Now then , does this help answer those nagging questions about , " Where do assholes come from ? "

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD dropped by Jerry's place , after getting a phone call about smoke being scene , coming from his house

BVD : ( walks in and sees Jerry smoken a token ) DUDE ! What 're yah , , , ah , , aaahh , oh yeaah , hmmmm , that's sum guud sheet man. Oh yeah , now I reemember , what 'r yea doin ?
Jerry : Smokin , what's it luuk like I'm ah doin ?
BVD : Oh man , your asshole neighbors see you like this and they'll be callin the copz agiiin
Jerry : So ? Call 'em. Hell , I'll call fur 'em , what'z their number agin' ?
BVD : " ? " You mean you aint a 'feared of them copz arrestin ye fur smoken that token ? Maaaannnn yu aint riiiiight !
Jerry : Oh , I'm right 'al right. Luuk it he'ar , ya see this d'ang ? ( points at a black box )
BVD : ( Looks closer at the box like object ) Hmm , what eez at' d'ang? " koff , koff " ( BVD fans smoke away from his face so he can see and coughs some more )
Jerry : It's a pothead meter. Ya breathe onta d'is pipe and it samples yur breath for " Pot " !
BVD : I thought you had to pee in a bottle to get caught smokin pot.
Jerry : Nope , not any more. Luuk 'it hear , ya see ? Ya don't even hav ta blow into 'dat pipe , it's that's sensative. ( Jerry stands back and blows smoke at the box and the meter registers insane levels of pot )
BVD : Okaaay , soooo , why are you not concerned about getting arrested by the police ?
Jerry : Simple. They come here to arrest me , they steal have to breathe some air , right ? Well , this thang will show , that they too hav been smoken a token and guess what then ? Theeeeeiiiiiiiirrrr the onesz getten BUSTED ! ! ! ! HEH HEh heeeh mmmm oh yeeaah ! " koff , koff ". Gimmie anuthur hit dar , bro , " koff , koff ".
BVD : Um , er , ah , Jerry ? You know the police don't arrest their own kind fur smoken a token.
Jerry : That's right , they won't AND they won't arrest me when this he'ah meter catches 'em tooo. Heh heh heh heh
BVD : Hmmmm , I dunno man. I mean , what will keep them from stealing 'dis d'ang thang ? " Koff koff ".
Jerry : Well , I wish 'em good luck trying. This is military gear with ANG , DLG , PMG aaaannnd it'sz even got encoded GPS. Sooo , let 'em trie. Eeet's survived Iraq and Afghanistan and even America's own desert storm and it ain't been stolen yet. Yeeaah , this 'll 'git 'em guuud , tooo. So , you wanna toke a smoke or 'r yu jesz gonna stand thar 'n watch me enjoye 'dis d'ang ?
BVD : Hmmmm , this is a reel difficulkt da 'ceezion ta make. Hmmmmm. Ooooh , aaaaalllright. Okay , whar 'esz mine ?
Jerry : ( reaches under a Bible ) Freshly rolled too , I jest a 'new yu 'oud a 'b kummin dis a 'way t 'day.
BVD : " puff puff puff , inhales , inhales , inhales " , hmmm , this is sum guuuud shit , man. Soooo , yu hurd , Metro is hiring copsz with possesion records
Jerry : " puff puff puff , inhales , inhales , inhales " , hmmmmmmmmmmm , yeeeeaaaaaah. So ?
BVD : What'sz goin to keep Franklin Police , fum hiring those same potheads ?
Jerry : Hmm , problie nuttin , afta 'all , they hav hired 'dem boy luvers
BVD : ( feeling relaxed and smooth faced , settles down deep into the couch ) Ya know Jerry , now I'z a realiz'in why da copsz always hav their windews down all da time
Jerry : Oh yeah ? Why ?
BVD : Because they hav to keep all dat smoke out ov dare kar !

Franklin , Tennessee - if you still have'nt seen it yet , tonight is a very good opportunity @ 1825. The more open horizon area you have , means more sky area to allow you to watch it pass over head. This open area means , no trees , no roof tops , no light poles , no street lights and no car lights. AND , no police officers waiting around , to steal your coat and binoculars ,
Keep in mind , 1825 is not an exact time. So you need to be watching about 10 minutes before hand with your fingers crossed.
If in doubt about the orbit , check your favorite web site , to confirm ISS's track. You'll need 30 minutes for your eyes to correct themselves , to see in the dark , after looking at the computer screen.

1833 hours - it's only 2 degrees windchill , with a half sky of clouds. ISS went directly over my house , headed SSE , just missing the half moon :)

I finally found someone who knows the inside workings of insurance companies and I asked them the same question , that several readers have asked me. " How is it , insurance companies can drop or lower a person's coverage , or even second guess a doctor ? ".

It's rather obvious , insurance companies use the UN-American principal , against their policy holders , which is : If it's bad for an American, while being good for the bottom line , then it's the Right action to take.

Here's what I was told , insurance is doing : If a person has a Phd. , then that person is also considered a doctor. Insurance companies hire these " Doctors in Basket Weaving " , to look at people's medical files ( aka - policy holders ) , to see if there are possible co$t$ cutting measures to put in place. These doctors have no medical experience what-so-ever. And yet , they are second guessing real doctors.

The real travesty is the commission , insurance companies pay out , to find those co$t$ cutting measures. Would you believe it's a whopping 45 % of the savings ? Here's how it works. Let's say 100 dollars are saved every month by eliminating payments on needles. After all , those can be re used , right ? Now , the " Doctor of Basket Weaving " gets 45 dollars in commission , butt , multiply that 45 dollars by 12 months and you get the full picture.
And yes , they still get a regular paycheck , while rummaging thru patient files. Typical pay is 120,000$ to start , plus car , apartment , meals and free medical insurance.

I will add to this ass new information comes in :
Remember , insurance companies do not have to divulge the identity of their " Doctors " .
I have also been told , some insurance companies are making changes in a " 3 step " method. More than 1 phone number and more than 1 case number is a part of implementing these changes and " NO " , they are not making the effort to tell you about these new changes. This means , you won't learn about any new changes , until you see your doctor and / or your pharmacy. The person telling me this also stated , that insurance companies are betting the doctor will start thinking something is wrong and not carry the ball thru the 3 steps.