Thursday, March 31, 2011
KING KONG on KIRKLAND TOWER
Vanderbilt University-BVD News-Some April Foolers stole the Nashville Zoo's latest attraction and placed it on Kirkland Hall's bell tower last night.
Kong , a 50 foot neon night light , was intended to be the BIG draw for spring events at the zoo.
However , Kong's placement on Kirkland's bell tower , lit up downtown Vandyland , causing the co-eds on the lawn to scatter. The frats and sororities were at a lose of where to go to continue Pledge Week.
Meanwhile , VUPD was last seen scattering and screaming like a bunch of cock roaches when the light bulbs were turned on.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Vanderbilt University Fires Chairman Thackston Again
Vanderbilt University - BVD News , in an attempt to beat the rush on April Fools Day , several April Foolers went into over time early this week , by announcing to the Engineering School , that Dean Galloway had fired General Chairman Thackston ( again ). Upon hearing the good news , the Civil Department and ASCE members shook down Professor Bowers for party money.
Needing stuff to burn for the bon'fire , everyone in the Civil Engineering Department grabbed those elusive and exclusive test files.
Ass the party heated up , the ASCE gang started chanting , " We're FREE , we can now start learning civil engineering instead of studying dummy down test files. No more being spoon fed duck soup and no more Thackston dirty POOP !"
BVD asked Professor Speece about Thackston being fired. Speece replied , " Thackston can't be fired. He has a disease called tenure track manure."
BVD asked why the civil engineering students were'nt attending the ASCE Conference and the ASCE president spoke up saying , "Why? No one gives a Shit and besides , we never win anything because we are no good at anything. I mean like , the only thing we are really good at is spending our parents money on an expensive piece of wall paper. "
BVD asked if perhaps the conference could be changed to allow trophies be given to those schools who were'nt any good and/or perhaps a new catagory could be set up ? The president said she would look into it , if and when she felt like it.
BVD then asked "What are these kids thinking by burning those test files ?" Speece answered , " Ass usual they're not thinking , they're just burning their chances for graduation. Wanna hot dog ? "
Meanwhile , since NASA was unable to launch the Space Shuttle ( again ) , their astronauts , hearing about the party , came to help celebrate.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Drinking The Franklin Kool Aid
Well guess what people? Someone has made a blog with that very name and it seems they are right here in Franklin. I don't know who or what but the blog appears to be about "Our" City of Franklin.
Check it for yourself.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Well , now there's the problem over at YouTube. There are some Disney videos containing Malware and such including the new fake AVG Malware. This thing holds your puter ransom until you pay up. (That's right people , you can't use it) Then you can use your puter for a short time until it shows up again and demands more money.
Currently , the only way to remove this thing is to go manually into the registry and manually remove the hard way. The thing is , once it gets it's hands on your puter , nothing will run so you can not scan for it. Besides , there's no current SpyWare that will find it anyway.
Need a puter Guru? I know one.
And I will not visit Face Book or You Tube again
Note: I'm told the Windows 7 will not get any strange Malware stuff or what ever. So maybe 2011 is a good year for getting a new puter
Thursday, March 17, 2011
In the past , Tennessee has always been on the bottom of some list butt it is the second state to create it's own encyclopedia.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
How John Veillette Started the PAVE program
Vanderbilt University - (this is a true story , you know it's a true story because it starts with Once upon a time) - during the summer , Vanderbilt School of Engineering has a 6 week summer class/camp geared for future engineers called PAVE. It's acronym means Premature Acadamnia for Vanderbilt Engineering.
Here's how it all started:
Once upon a time , there was a grad student named John Veillette who was working on his Phd. with his mentor Professor Carney. Together , they launched some stinky stuff over a lot of heads , swearing it was in the best interests of research. During his time ass a grad student at Vanderbilt , John made a lot of enemies for being a Shit head. ( he and Carney had already got themselves kicked out of Auburn ) , anyway , somehow Carney got John his Phd. and people were hoping he would disappear and never be seen again. ( John's Phd. was full of plagiarism ) Well , John knew he could bring in research money and signed an agreement with the engineering school that he would indeed do so. He traveled the world over , trying to get research money for ideas he knew would work. Problem was , the people he talked to in the industry realized they could do the research better AND cheaper AND also get the patents ass well. Finally , John got a letter of eviction notice from the school because he was not doing any research per his contract stating , " Have the research money or get out of town by sundown. " John did'nt know what to do. Everyone at the engineering school was laughing at him , and having parties using undergraduate party funds ass John's head circled and bobbed around inside the toilet. So , Jerry ( that's me ) told him to " Think Man Think " Upon saying those words , John got hit in the head by the dreaded flying I-beam. ( there's a scar on his head to prove it and I am a witness the event and I also took him to the ER ) Ass John slowly came to his senses , he saw a vision , a future , a light at the end of his tunnel while a booming voice thundered in his head , PAVE ! ! ! Can you hear me now ? I said PAVE ! Suddenly , John knew what he had to do. He went to Joe B. and pleaded his case. After singing , dancing , and giving a private performance of Hamlett , Joe B. decreed , " Let there be PAVE ! " And it was done. So , now you know the humble beginnings of PAVE.
Even though the whole thing is considered a joke , PAVE has reached the million dollar club in donations. What's really scary , are the students from Asia , who are far smarter than Americans and have an IQ way above the PAVE curriculum The folks who spy on the computer network always learn new computer technology from them every year. And those people have college degrees. These kids don't. Does this tell you anything ? Oh yes , the students you see on a PAVE brochure are not PAVE students. They are actors and models , having nothing to do with Vanderbilt. How do I know this ? I was there taking their pictures for the first brochure and perhaps things may have changed by now. Today , PAVE is the summer place for something young and tender to rave with. Yes , there are PAVE scholarships , butt , John has to like you to get one. (yes , really really) Another foot note. PAVE saved Vanderbilt's engineering school. The class sizes were shrinking due to costs , and besides , there are better programs elsewhere. PAVE has created a retention rate that keeps the student numbers high enough to keep the classes going. Now do you understand how John became a dean ? He brought in money that has kept the school alive. Meanwhile Dean Galloway had spent research money to pay the school's bills , to keep the sinking ship afloat. Thanks to John , and creative money management , he got away with it and was made a dean.
So there's the true story of PAVE boys and girls. I do hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to be a critic and write to me right here and I also hope you enjoy the rest of this blog. Good Luck to All of you.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Chief Moore Makes Himself Useful
Franklin , Tennessee-BVD News for Franklin Police - with the former Chief of Police , jackie Moore now in retirement mode , his wife has found him to be in need of some thing "more" to do with himself , besides just sitting around in the bathroom all alone every morning and so his wife has graciously donated all of his free time to the community just to get him out of her hair.
Shown here on Liberty Pike is an example of his work efforts on making school zones safer by writing "SHCOOL" on the road ahead of the school zone to help alert drivers with a warning that they are approaching a "SHCOOL ZONE" and that children may be present.
BVD: Good job Chief. Good job.
Chief Moore: (Beaming his huge shaved tail beaver grin for the camera) Why thank you BVD. Thank you.
BVD: That's just awesome , Chief. Really ! Good joooooob.
Chief Moore: Thank you (takes a bow) Thank you.
Warner: (Giggling) Well at least he spelled "shcool" correctly. Ha ha ha (snickering)
Chief Moore: Thank You.
BVD: I noticed your letterings are so precise. So perfect. The height and the width are just perfect
Chief Moore: Why thank you BVD. I'm glad you noticed
Wife: Oh Good Grief. "sigh" , "groooan" , Not again. "sigh" Why Lord? Why me? All these years I've been so good. Really. I've been such a good girl.
Chief Moore: Oh hay uh , did I say thank you to everyone? (looking and smiling towards his wife)
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Tennessee Living On The Gulf
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
I think you'll like it.
Franklin , Tennessee - BVD got a new camera from Hewlett Packard today. While reading the instructions , he found some interesting reading. HP says , " To reduce the chances of having problems with your new camera , don't turn it on. "
Hey , makes good sense to me. Yep , he took it back. Now there won't be any problems with that new camera.
I got asked if this was true. Yep , I saw it in the manual.
Monday, March 07, 2011
PROFESSOR BOWERS FLYING LESSON
Vanderbilt University - BVD News standing up for THE HUSTLER - Professor Alan Bowers , Vanderbilt University School of Engineering Civil Engineering Department , was again caught dressed up in drag , at another sorority party , at Towers II. This time it turns out he was attending another lesbian party supporting the 2011 ASCE student organization.
While playing a game of spin the bottle , it became obvious , that he was not what they thought she was , when he stated , "Let ASCE eat cake. No engineering faculty member would ever be caught dead giving a Shit about ASCE any way. Just a bunch of losers the whole lot of 'em." Bowers' ass was immediately tossed out the window as everyone chanted , "Down with Bowers! Down with Bowers! Down with Bowers ALL THE WAY"
Yep. He went down all right.
Saturday, March 05, 2011
Isle of Man
Flag Description red with the Three Legs of Man emblem (triskelion), in the center; the three legs are joined at the thigh and bent at the knee; in order to have the toes pointing clockwise on both sides of the flag, a two-sided emblem is used; the flag is based on the coat-of-arms of the last recognized Norse King of Mann, Magnus III (r. 1252-1265); the triskelion has its roots in an early Celtic sun symbol
Thursday, March 03, 2011
I PUT OUT
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY LAB RATS
Four escaped lab rats from the VUMC dungeons , were on Jay Leno last night , discussing their lab experiments
Pictured is the human/bat reproduction study
A Homo Sapiens missing link , with the longest body hair
The cloning study of reproducing multiple " Minni Me's " inside a man's abdomen
The Kool Aid Pitcher with bladder problems caused by misplaced foley placement use and abuse