Friday, February 29, 2008

 

the P-51D " HEAVY " MUSTANG



It's amazing at the questions I get on an everyday basis. I've been asked about the P-51D MUSTANG " Heavy " variant. After doing some research and Ednaling , I FOUND IT ! !

This is a bomber version of the famous fighter plane. During World War II , Hitler demanded , the ME-262 fighter jet , be converted into a bomber. The allies , upon learning this , became concerned and developed their own version , of a fighter gone bomber.
Because of the additional weight , the bomb load brings to the aircraft , the power plant was given a necessary power boost , by adding an upscale fuel system , using downdraft duel fuel carburetors utilizing double weight floats and spring assisted venturi , that are inbred and fed by oversize magnum fuel pumps.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

 

COMCAST Does WHAT ?

Someone claiming to be with COMCASTIC COMCAST gave me a message saying how sorry he was about Kaden's COMCASTIC service.
After all of the phone calls asking for repair and getting crap from the person I'm talking to , COMCAST still does'nt get it.
After taking away my time , to answer their survey and giving them point blank answers , COMCAST still does'nt get it.
COMCASTIC COMCAST techs have done everything here except give me trouble free service. The more they work on my COMCASTIC COMCAST , the more it craps all over the place. The techs have stolen my property , eaten my food , drank my booze , and left no tip at the bar.
Why are I still a COMCAST customer ? I'm waiting for AT&T :)
COMCAST is just expensive COMCASTIC PLASTIC !
Remember , your COMCAST cares. Riiiiiiiiiight. When pigs fly and my cow jumps over the moon.

It's been an hour since I posted this and I've been asked what I would do about COMCAST's problems. First , I would FIRE the tech , disconnecting the lines. That's one big problem , GONE !

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

 

Vanderbilt WHAT ?


Vanderbilt University - BVD was all excited after seeing a letter being sent out , showing the latest student housing upgrades

BVD : Jerry , have you seen this ?
Jerry : Hm. , Nope. , So ?
BVD : Vandy is giving those gays everything these days
Jerry : So what ?
BVD : Those gay people give me the creeps
Jerry : Yeah ?
BVD : Yeah , like , oh yeah
Jerry : I see. Why ?
BVD : Oh , you know
Jerry : No , I don't know
BVD : Oh you know you know
Jerry : No , so just tell me , OK ?
BVD : They aint right
Jerry : Hm ? Are you saying they fart differently ?
BVD : No
Jerry : Do they quack like a person ?
BVD : Ha , yes , they quack like a person
Jerry : Do they walk on 2 legs ?
BVD : Ha ha ha , yes , they walk on 2 legs , butt , they are still different
Jerry : How do you know ? Have you had a gay experience ?
BVD : Hm , er , ah , no , no I have'nt , butt
Jerry : No butts. If you've got nuthin on them , why make a big deal out of it ?
BVD : ? Butt , look it here. These toilets that Vanderbilt is installing for LAMBDA students.
Jerry : Yeah ? Well , what about all those Hollywood bathrooms being installed in new homes , here in Franklin ?
BVD : ? Hm ?
Jerry : Yeah. And what about those double toilet systems that face each other , so couples can shit and fuck at the same time ?
BVD : What ?
Jerry : Yeah , there's no " what " about it. Those double unit toilets allow Franklin's rich and famous , to accomplish more , in a days time. Where you been lately , BVD ?
BVD : I was out of town with da mayor , doing God's work , while avoiding this place.

 

Whut Da Fukz Wrong Wit COMCAST

Franklin , Tennessee - I had to hold BVD down ass the COMCASTIC COMCAST Technicians worked on the broken COMCAST cable tv system , the cable box was broken again.
So , the first thing the techs noticed , was a line running thru a multiple connector , that was'nt needed and was causing interference with the remote. It was disconnected. Problem solved , BUTT , now I've lost COMCASTIC COMCAST INTERNET. The line was replaced and the internet was repaired.
The second problem found , was a line from the box to the VCR was causing interference with the remote and it was disconnected. Problem found , problem solved. BUTT , this disabled the VCR's ability to record AND disabled the surround sound system. This line was replaced and everything was repaired.
I informed the tech , that other COMCASTIC COMCAST technicians had installed the lines which he had removed. He replied , " Hey , I fixed your system , did'nt I ? "

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Monday, February 25, 2008

 

I WANT MY BABY BOOST

Franklin , Tennessee - for those lucky COMCASTIC COMCAST customers , they have discovered their Video On Demand service does'nt work again. Despite COMCAST reporting a 54 % profit increase during the last quarter , Video On Demand continues to operate in a dysfunctional operation. Apparently , COMCASTIC COMCAST employees are just too busy partying with the profits. Of course , COMCAST still has'nt been able to hire knowledgeable Field Technicians either. I guess they cost too much.

Pictured is Kaden , who wants his daily dose of Baby Boost , found only on COMCASTIC COMCAST VoD. Sorry Kaden. COMCAST does'nt care if you have paid your bill for last month. They've got your money and laughed all the way to the bank. Yep , COMCAST gets richer every day by delivering a lack of services while you get poorer for choosing COMCAST.



video

 

It's Sooooo Taxing

WHEW ! ! ! I can't believe I got the thing done. Yep , my taxes are paid and both my wallet AND bank accounts are still smokin. Everyone wants to know the latest tax cuts and here are 2 good ones I know for 2007.

1 - if you purchased a car , you might be able to write off the sales tax. This rule applies only to 2007 taxes. Yes , this is 4 real.

2 - document your donations. DOCUMENT YOUR DONATIONS. Do I need to repeat myself ? With documents , you can write off all that excess stuff lying around the house , by giving it away. AND nope , your memory is'nt good enough for the IRS. Examples of my favorite charities are - Williamson County Rescue Squad , Happy Tails , PAWS , The ARC , AM VETS , and of course - the church.

Good Luck !

Friday, February 22, 2008

 

Law Enforcement in Schools


Franklin , Tennessee - BVD was doing his morning vigil of reading the WAM to Jerry.

BVD : Hey man , look it. On the front page is an article about the sheriff's department having deputies in the schools.
Jerry : Yeah. I think that's a good thing.
BVD : Well yeah , so do I. Butt , I wonder why Franklin Special School District does'nt have Franklin Police in their schools ?
Jerry : Does Franklin Police have a pedophile ?
BVD : " ! "

 

McCain's Other Woman


BVD : Hey , Jerry. How 'bout that McCain guy denying his having an affair with another woman ?
Jerry : Yeah , so ? What about it ?
BVD : Heah heah heah Well , I mean , the man claims it is'nt true. What do you think
Jerry : If the guy is telling the truth. And , he has'nt had an affair with another " any " woman , then he h'aint much of a man , now , is he ?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

 

Franklin Police Show Thier Dishonesty


Franklin , Tennessee - BVD read the story about Williams , Franklin's former Waste Director , suing The City of Franklin.

BVD : Damn Jerry , have you read this ? ( BVD hands Jerry the paper )
Jerry : Yeah. So ?
BVD : Man , Jerry , I thought you had some kind of grudge against Franklin Police. You've made some remarks that certainly are not nice and now I read right here in the WAM , that Williams reported harassing phone calls on his cell.
Jerry : Yeah ?
BVD : Look. Franklin Police , has the equipment to monitor anyone's cell phone. If Williams did tell the police about those calls , why did'nt they take action ? I mean , they would have got the goods on Jay Johnson
Jerry : HmmmHmmm.
BVD : You know what ? This article proves the remarks you've made about the Police/Johnson connection. Why , those bastards went straight to Jay Johnson telling him about Williams reporting the text messages. Damn. What happened to that Serve and Protect thing ?
Jerry : There's no money in it. Butt , there is always money to do the wrong thing.
BVD : Ah , er , hey Jerry. Does Franklin Police really have a pedophile ?
Jerry : Have I ever lied to you ?
BVD : Hm. No , , , , , no , , , you have'nt.

 

JJ Triez A'gin

Franklin , Tennessee - last night , the citizens of Franklin , stood nervously outside , watching the sky , ass the moon went into full eclipse. This was the final warning from God , the world was coming to an end.

Virginia : Hey Jerry. Cool it , will ya ?
Jerry : Hm ? What ?
Virginia : You are over doing it with the story telling
Jerry : Butt , butt , this is Jay Johnson I'm talking about , dear. You saw what happened on live TV last night. You also looked out the window and saw our neighbors , looking up into the sky , shaking and quivering.
Virginia : Jerry , It was reeeeaally cold last night. That's why they were shivering. And , they were watching the moon eclipse. AND , that is not some dire warning from God , that this world is coming to an end.
Jerry : So , you were'nt watching CNN last night ?
Virginia : Ha ha ha , nooo silly , I was also outside watching the eclipse. I have'nt seen one before.
Jerry : So , you missed it then
Virginia : Missed what ?
Jerry : Jay Johnson tried his hand at reporting the news. Ya see , he's still outta wurk
Virginia : Um , no , I did'nt see him
Jerry : Watch this video


video

Virginia : Ohhh noo ! Jerry , maybe , I mean , well , perhaps you're right , the world does'nt have much longer afterall
Jerry : Hm ?
Virginia : That JJ can't do anything right. Thank God He's gone from this town. Jerry , I don't understand. We are told that God made this world and he said it was good. Well ? Where's the good ? Why does it seem JJ is everywhere ? I mean , the people of Franklin still speak JJ's name , butt , they say it in a whisper. " sniff " Like they are afraid of something. " sniff " Why ? " sniff " What's happened to the good in this town or in this world ? It's like JJ has eclipsed the life out of this place. Tell me , Jerry , where has all the good gone ?
Jerry : Well Virginia , there really is a Santa Claus and he still lives. However , this world must have balance and that's what JJ's purpose in life is all about.
Virginia : I don't understand.
Jerry : If we had good all around us , we would never experience the darkness , because this world could'nt rotate on it's axis. So , Jay Johnson stepped in and gave us the dark side of life and in doing so , The City of Franklin and even the world , have balance
Virginia : So , is JJ the reason , this world wobbles as it turns on it's axis?
Jerry : Hmmmm , I'll have to think on that one

 

Who'z Drinking Franklin's CoolAid

Franklin , Tennessee - I've received several emails asking me about what happened to DrinkinFranklinz Koolaid. I have sent Koolaid an email and both he and BVD ain't talkin. Looking at how the JJ episode went and with Wantmore on the loose , I'll let you do the math.
So , I suggest , if you wanna know , go ask him yourself.

 

JJ Sighting Feeds Paparazzi

Franklin , Tennessee - with Jay Johnson's increasing popularity , the paparazzi have grown in numbers. A good picture these days , can fetch over a dollar with The Enquirer.
Last night , JJ was seen walking his fish without a leash ( this violates Franklin City Ordinance Code 108-8127-2981-B ) , causing a paparazzi feeding frenzy that blocked several unused sidewalks in busy downtown Franklin.
Franklin City Police were preoccupied and their Auxiliary Citizens Police Force stepped in and immediately arrested 2 cameramen from the notorious organization , known only as TMZ.



video

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

 

Dogs Kum Bak

The world is barking and howling at the news , Dog has returned , after saying " nigger " several times , during a private phone conversation.
Hey , it's all about the money and nuthin mor. Despite this white man's crying and apologies to everyone , none of the black performers , who use the " nigger " word in their music , have stepped forward , to apologize for deliberately ignoring the in$en$itive callousne$$ , the " nigger " word provokes.
In this case , money prevails to promote the freedom of speech. I wonder who got paid what , to allow Dog's return.



video

Monday, February 18, 2008

 

Need A Back Doctor ?

I was asked if I knew anything about Doctor Schoettle , 327 - 9543 , at St. Thomas Hospital , located in Nashville , Tennessee , since he is a back doctor.
Let's get something understood right here , right now. Just because a doctor says he is a back doctor , does not mean he works on all of the back. Most doctors say they are back doctors , so they can get all of the volume ( patients equals money ) they can. With that said , Schoettle is only a Lumbar doctor. If you have another type of back injury , he will want to continue being your Sugar Daddy , while he sends you off to Vanderbilt , to be cured. Keep in mind , he only gives a monthly supply of 15 Lortabs , for your pain problems.
During your office visit , you will spend 5 minutes with the nurse and 1 minute with the doctor. He has a golf schedule to keep , and THAT ! , my friends , has priority over the patient. In addition , he does'nt have anyone qualified to use the phone , in the event the computer system craps out. So , keep in mind , his office could lose you and that means , you've been forgotten. SOooooo. What was your name again ? Oh , yes , now I remember , that office visit will cost a mere 475 $ , cough it up , please. That's more expensive than other doctors. Oh , yeah , about that phone. Don't bother calling him , no one will tell him you called. Nope , I'm not kidding. Remember , this is St. Thomas we're talkin 'bout. What do ya mean , you're outta Lortabs ? You were given 10 pills for the month. What have you done wit 'em ?
So , can I recommend him ? Nope. I don't have a Lumbar injury. There are people , who kiss the ground he walks on. While other patients cuss him out , for not telling them , he does'nt do C-spine injuries. Well , ha ha ha , think about it. Does it make sense to have Schoettle , for your doctor , if he is sending you to a doctor at Vanderbilt , for treatment ? No , it does not ! So , before you get a back doctor for your needs , consider asking questions. Once you're locked in , it's difficult to get out , because of the narcotics agreement you will have to sign. In other words , you're giving the doctor your life's rights and you have no come back in the event , you no longer have a back to come back with. Ha ha ha , that's a little joke , get it ? So , " Watch Your BACK , Jack " . Because no one else will.

Friday, February 15, 2008

 

A Blast with Brass




This post is for the NAVY minded. Way back when , the United States Navy , made plaques in a foundry , using brass metal. These plaques represented the different ships , submarines and units , that make up our Navy. In those days , brass was melted down and poured into a sand mold. A lot of skill was needed to make one of these and today , it's an art , gone and forgot.

The top picture is the USS Grand Rapids PG - 98. Consider this to be a modern day torpedo boat. This solid brass plaque is one inch thick.



The middle plaque is for the Navy's Commodore at La Maddalena , located in The Med.



Everyone has heard of the USS NAUTILUS SSN 571. This submarine completed the first underwater transit using the North Pole passage. She proved that the Pacific and the Atlantic Oceans were connected. The USS NAUTILUS , was America's first , nuclear powered anything.

Today , Navy plaques are simple pieces of laser cut wood. I wonder how admirals get through the day , without their daily dose of brass ?

If any of my readers know of other Navy plaques , I know people who would be interested in purchasing them for an exhibit , honoring our military. Or , perhaps consider making a donation and get a tax cut.

 

Where's JJ ?

Franklin , Tennessee - now that Jay Johnson has leaft the building , some people have been quietly asking , where's JJ ?
Well , ask no more and look no further. Jay Johnson has been seen on the Jimmy Kimmel show. Jimmy celebrated his show's anniversary and Andy needed a stand in comic for a skit. Watch closely , ass JJ struts his acting stuff. If you can't see him , he's the guy in the middle. It seems that the rumors about JJ going to Hollywood to take up acting lessons , are'nt too far fetched. Now we all know , what JJ is doing with all that severance money.
Great job , JJ. I wonder where this new career will take him next ?


video

 

Another Day at City Hall

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD was strolling down the hallway , at Franklin's City Government Complex , and hears singing coming from the Men's Room , going in to investigate , he sees a beaming and smiling , Chief jackie , dressed in a Sheriff's costume , er , ah , make that a uniform

BVD : Hey Chief , what's going on ?
Chief jackie : Well , ya know that gospel singing Sheriff is gone. They say God called down unto him to sing the gospel. And , well , now there's a law enforcement department that needs an honest man , to give them leadership and , uh , well , ha ha ha , I'm their man. I'm 'n gonna he'd 'n over to see about getting settled in to my new office. They say it's ass big aze a house.
BVD : Um , Chief , Headley has already been replaced. His old office has a new head in it now.
Chief : It doez ? sniff , 'er yew shurr ? sniff , sniff , butt , butt , I kin do tat job , I kin , I kin I tell yew !
BVD : Chief , what's wrong with your job ? Afterall , you've got your own police department to run , all by yourself now , ya know
Chief : Hm ? I duz ?
BVD : Yeah , you know , Franklin Police ? You are their leader now
Chief : Butt , Jay Johnson runs that shoe
BVD : Jay Johnson is gone
Chief : Yew know whut ? Come to tink 'bout it , I did here sumphin 'bout him getting gon. Hey , I can run that departmint. Hey , I kin , I kin dude that
BVD : Go for it chief. Go get 'em !

Thursday, February 14, 2008

 

Headley is Gone

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD read the paper aloud to allow Jerry to watch his cartoons this morning

BVD : The Tennessean says , " Ass long ass Headley was charged with felony offenses , he had no choice butt to stay in office and fight. To resign would have been an admission that he was guilty of a felony. "
Jerry : Say what ?
BVD : Yep. Look Jerry , America has become dysfunctional in the law department. Lawyers know this , because they are responsible. Now , do you understand Headley's law breaking tactics ?
Jerry : OK , let's see if I do. I'm the law. Therefore , I can do ass I please.
BVD : Yep.
Jerry : So , why all the fuss ? Why were people so determined to bring him down ?
BVD : Well , it's like this , Headley had an illegal stash of thousands of pills. OK ? He was'nt sharing them. OK ?
Jerry : So , if Headley had been spreading the wealth , so to speak , those other people , like jackie , would have looked the other way , so to speak.
BVD : Exactly.
Jerry : Soooooooo , let me get this straight. Headley remained in office to appear innocent. Butt , if he resigned his office , he would be found guilty. Butt , at the last minute , to keep himself out of jail , he admitted he really was guilty , which is the reason he resigned anyway.
BVD : Now you're catching on. Heh heh heh heh.
Jerry : So , today , the law is all about , " leverage " ?
BVD : You're learning :)
Jerry : So , does this mean , every person Headley incarcerated and put behind bars , can now get their charges dropped , get their record cleaned and they can get a " Get Out of Jail " card for free
BVD : Under the present " dysfunctional " situation , yes they can.
Jerry : And what about the other people who were arrested with Headley ? They have'nt had their day in court , yet.
BVD : For the law to be fair and equal , they would have to receive the same sentence , Headley received
Jerry : Butt , butt , butt , they are'nt sheriffs and they can't sing God's gospel
BVD : So , who said everyone was blessed equally ? It's the law that needs to be equal to everyone
Jerry : Butt , America's Constitution says " All men are created equal "
BVD : Damn it Jerry ! That damn piece of paper is proof , that America is dysfunctional
Jerry : ?
BVD : Look , the " men " writing the constitution owned other men , because those " men " were considered inferior and therefore , they were not equal. So , where's your equality now ? How do you think President Bush gets around the law ? Jerry , you have to understand " THE " one primary law , about the law governing our country , and keep in mind , this will probably never change. You are either inside the circle of the law , or you're an outsider. All of the laws in this country pertain to someone , butt , not to everyone. Headley , has proven this fact , for all of us to see

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

 

Happy Valentine's Day


I've been asked if I have a significant other and did I give her anything for Valentine's Day. Well , HELL YEAH , I gave that woman something. I knew what would happen if I did'nt.

So , upon finding this , I immediately emailed this card to her , with my Love.

Yep , she liked it and told me so , adding , " It was different. "

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

 

COMCAST to the Rescue

Franklin , Tennessee - well , after more problems with COMCASTS HD box , and after having the box replaced 17 times. COMCAST sent over , their top repair man to my rescue. The problem he said , " Was a simple one to fix. You see , your TV is wired backwards. This here power cord was placed in the wall upside down AND into the wrong plug on the wrong wall. " See how simple this was to fix ?

Jerry : Uh huh. So , now that you've fixed my COMCAST HD TV problem , why has my internet service stopped working ?

" Oh SHIT ! "

Jerry :(

 

Oh o o o o ! Damn It , John


Vanderbilt University - Jerry was strolling along the campus and decided to drop in , on his old friend , John Veillette ( pronounced spaghetti ) who is the PAVE Program Director and also is , Ass. Dean in The School of Engineering. John is also known , ass " Doc V " .

Jerry : ( walking into John's office , Jerry sees him smiling with his eyes closed , while slumped forward in his chair ) knock knock Hey John , or do I call you Doc V. ?
John : ( startled , sits up straight ) Oh , uh , hey Jer. How's it goin ?
Jerry : Fine , just fine. I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by and say hello.
John : Oh , well , hello then.
Jerry : ( hears shuffling from under the desk , walking over to investigate , Jerry sees a young Asian boy , his face buried into John's crotch ) Damn it ! John ? Is that another PAVE student ?
John : ( John puts on an innocent look ) Ha ha ha , Oh, wow , golly gee. Ha ha ha , Look at the time. I've got a meeting with an important person at the post office in 5 minutes. Ha ha ha
Jerry : John , you are such a pathetic liar. Can't you go , for just one minute , without lying to anyone ?
John : HA Ha ha Are you kidding me ? ( giggling ) Look where I am today and look where you are. See where lying has gotten me today ? Ha ha ha , giggling
Jerry : John , when you're standing at the Pearly Gates , how will you explain your lies ?
John : Ohhhhh , I'm sure they'll understand. After all giggling this IS Vanderbilt. Ha ha ha giggling ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ! AND , ha ha ha ha ha , I'm a DEAN ! They are not Ha ha ha ha giggling ha ha ha ha ha
Jerry : Yes giggling I'm sure they will giggling. Ya know what ? giggling I'll bet they hear that line all the time. Ha ha ha ha ha giggling

 

HEY ! Where DiD My MONEY GO ! ! !

I've gotten some questions , about where people should put their savings in their stock market accounts. You know , their future money to retire on ? Oh , c'mon , you know , that stock market that President Bush spent so much time and money selling us on. Don't you remember ? He even traveled across this country in Air Force One , just to see us Americans , up front and personally, to tell us to put our money , where his mouth is. Try real hard , you'll remember it.
Anyway , we all know , if we pull any of our stock market money , out of our accounts , the government will take a really huge , biggie bite , out of it , called " taxes " .
Did you know , if you had pulled your money out of the stock market , after January 1 , of this year , you would have more money , now , even after the tax bite ? Yep , President Bush's 12 trillion dollar debt is being felt that deep.
In other words , with the stock market falling right now , you've already paid out those taxes , despite not pulling out your money. That's how much you've lost , by having a Republican in The White House. Makes ya feel warm all over , don' it ?

Monday, February 11, 2008

 

Oooo , Those Ebay Sellers

I've received some interesting remarks about Ebayers using the shipping loop hole , to fuck their buyers. Here's a little trick given to me. When you find an item you are looking for , note the shipping costs. Then search for more/similar items and note those shipping charges. This is a neat way to find an honest seller. Yep , it do work , cause I tried it before writing this article. I found , by searching out the costs first , I can save 10 dollars. WoW o WoW ! There are some greedy , little ole * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * on Ebay ! ( I will let you fill in the spots :)
Now are'nt you glad I'm around to tell you these things ?

 

The Bride Just Died

Davie , Florida - the big news story , everyone is talking about , is the bride who died , while dancing with her new husband. They were married only an hour before. She died while dancing in his arms and medical people were unable to revive her.

Ya never know when the Master will call us home. Another story is a local neighbor took his wife out for dinner one Friday night. He died at the table , while waiting for their food.

Still don't believe me ? Here's one more story. At Vanderbilt Trauma , a couple were in a traffic accident. She had sustained sever injuries , while he had simple cuts and bruises. While the husband was being moved in a wheel chair , to go see his wife , who was 3 beds away , he died. Yes , he died , sitting in a wheel chair , only feet away from his wife. She did'nt see it happen and it was unnerving for the doctor to tell her what had just happened. CPR was performed for 35 minutes , without success.

So , now that you've read these short stories. Why not take a moment to think about your own life. Is there something you need to do or say to someone ? Perhaps now is a good time to do so. Before the Master calls your name. Do it , while you still have time.
You can be a bad person and hide your deeds from others , butt , you can't hide from the Lord who gave you life. I wonder about this , since I know of Franklin Police officers , who have disgraced their oaths and badge. I have wondered how God will deal with them. I have also wondered how God deals with America's politicians , like President Bush , for example. A life of 8 years in The White House , is rather short , compared to a life in other places , the Lord has made , to accommodate him.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

 

Mandatory Retirement in Williamson County


Franklin , Tennessee , er , ah , hm , well , make that Williamson County - in today's WAM , readers give us their 2 cents , about mandatory retirement for sheriff deputies. ( so why is there a picture of Franklin Police cars , in this article ? because there are no pictures of sheriff's cars :)

Ed Wells tells us that incompetency and bad attitudes , grates the tax payers. OK , Mr. Wells , lets look at Franklin Police. Incompetency and BAD attitudes , are a prerequisite for being hired , per Administrator Jay Johnson. How do you think , Chief jackie , really got his job ? Using his good looks ? That's why he has never run the department AND , his office door is open , butt , nobody is home. Chief jackie is not available to the public , just because you wanna talk to him.


Jim Charlet mentions physical strength and honesty for EMTs. The truth is , not everyone can bench press 300 pounds. Do we really need an EMS department full of gorillas ? Besides , this kind of work is more mental , than physical. ( most of the time ) In horrible truth , EMTs are thieves. The best example is ASI -Nashville. Baptist Hospital got so fed up with them , for a while , all ASI crews had to be escorted by hospital security , every where they went and before leaving , security checked their vehicles , for hospital property. How about honsety for police officers ? Recently , documents have surfaced , showing Franklin Police officers committing burglary. This has , of course , been covered up by Franklin Police detectives and of course , ( dang it all to hell ) the documents got found. ( ooooops ! , maybe that's why jackie can't be found in his office ) Mr. Charlet also mentions , that National Guard personnel get no- notice drug tests. Franklin Police do not get these tests , because Franklin Police are not National Guard. If these tests were performed , Franklin Police would just misplace the documents anyway. So , why bother ? Now do you understand , what it took , to catch a crook , like Sheriff Headley ? Hmmm , drugs , would this explain why Chief jackie seems to float across the floor ? Is this why jackie's office lights are on , butt , no one is home ?

Carole Barneys says , instead of giving them Social Security , let them work another job. Well , hell yea , let 'em work another job. Sheriff personnel earn 25 dollars + plus an hour , working various security jobs , during their " off " periods.

Fount Smothers cautions us about discrimination. Well , he'z a little late with that one. Law enforcement is just one big , " Good 'ol Boy " network. Are you familiar with Williamson County's EMS dispatch bunker ? You wanna job ? You got connections with anybody in EMS or the law in Williamson County ? Marriage is perfectly acceptable. You'R hired. Yep ! Just like that. Experience or knowledge using radios or computers is not required. You say you got no connections AND you've got experience ? Owow ! How good fur ye ! Well , we'll jest keep yore apple'kAtion rite hare on file , jest 'n case sumpin kumz up. Ya'll cum bak nouw , yah hear ?

Jerry : Hey , BVD , look it here. This article has a picture of the Franklin Police Crime fighting van , parked at Franklin police headquarters. Since Franklin Police investigate an average of 600 crimes , at any one time , why is their van parked at HQ ?
BVD : For starters , maybe the van does'nt have any batteries. You know how those detectives are about batteries.
Jerry : Hm , with all the training Franklin Police have been getting lately , maybe they don't have anyone trained on how to use it.
BVD : Or worse , the crime being investigated , occurred at HQ.
Jerry : What ? Somebody leave their locker unlocked again ?

Friday, February 08, 2008

 

Vanderbilt's Hiring Practices

Vanderbilt University - BVD was strolling along the sidewalk , enjoying this spring like day in February , when he heard a noise.

Person 1 : Let me get this straight. There's some rule in your rule book , that says this guy can't be hired.
Person 2 : Yes , that's correct.
P 1 : OK. So , again , how long will it take , to replace Chancellor Gee ?
P 2 : Look. You have to understand , these rules are not my doing.
P 1 : Rules ? You just said a moment ago , that this was policy
P 2 : Rules , policy , who cares a damn ? Look , just go and review , again , Vanderbilt's hiring policy
P 1 : You mean , rule book , right ?
P 2 : Groan , gasp , what ever.
P 1 : I just don't understand. I mean , look at The School of Engineering. That guy Galloway did'nt have the criteria for the dean's position , butt , they hired him.
P 2 : That's right. He was hired. BUTT , he was one of the only 5 people who applied. The School had to hire somebody. Am I right ?
P 1 : Well , yeah , butt , he was'nt the right guy for the school , or Vanderbilt. I just cannot understand for the life of me , why there are so many ridiculous rules and policies governing the hiring and selection process.
P 2 : Exactly.
P 1 : ? , Hm. What ?
P 2 : You just figured it out.
P 1 : Now , I'm confused. I had originally thought the system was to weed out those people , who were not qualified.
P 2 : giggling , Exactly my boy ( giggling ) exactly ( snickering )
P 1 : I just don't understand. I don't see what's so funny , about Vanderbilt being so dysfunctional , about hiring Gee's replacement. And , this problem goes from one end of the campus to the other. Plplplplplplease , please tell me why the hiring rules and policies are so complicated and confusing.
P 2 : groan , sigh , sigh , more giggling. OK. Look. ( giggling ) The reason Vanderbilt ( snickering ) has this ( giggling ) complicated hiring system ( giggling ) is to deliberately make the hiring process ( giggling ) soooo complicated , ass to discourage any qualified candidate from applying in the first place.
P 1 : ? , ? , ? , What ? Butt why ?
P 2 : Because then , Vanderbilt can hire the person they want , while side stepping federal guide lines concerning employment. In addition , since the person being hired , will not have the proper qualifications , Vanderbilt does'nt have to pay them accordingly. Now , do you understand how Dean Galloway got hired ?

 

Ding Dong , That Johnson's GONE ! ! !

Franklin , Tennessee - at the old homestead , another administrative discussion occurred , about that damn , Jay Johnson.

BVD : Well , now that he's gone , I wonder how his crony people are feeling
Jerry : Hm ? What do you mean ?
BVD : I mean , Jay Johnson's cronies. How are they feeling right now ?
Jerry : I don't know and I don't care. Why ?
BVD : Well , think about it for a moment. These people have kissed his feet. I mean they willingly gave him their soul , at no charge. They even worshiped him like a God and now he's gone. Just like that! ( snaps his fingers )
Jerry : So ?
BVD : Well , Ha Ha Ha . I mean , JJ is walking out of here with a huge mega buck parachute and his cronies get nuthin. I mean , N.U.T.H.I.N. , nuthin. Do ya think ole JJ would share any of that dough ?
Jerry : Hm , no.
BVD : Damn right , no. I was just wondering how that felt , ya know ? I mean , to give someone your life and end up with nuthin to show for it.
Jerry : Oh well. I really don't care. Jay Johnson literally shit on this town and the people , just so he could line his own pocket. OK ? I just don't care about him. Ass for his cronies , they got what they deserve. They spent their time , spying and tattling on their fellow co workers , telling JJ every little unimportant thing , while their co workers did all the work. Those people have already been paid enough for doing nothing , ass it is. It's even funny , that JJ is now shitting on his cronies , ass he departs this town. Now , explain to me , why we are having this conversation. JJ is gone. There's a lot to do , to undo what JJ has done. OK ? Now. . . Let's move ahead , instead of stagnating ourselves , discussing that damn ole Jay Johnson.

Monday, February 04, 2008

 

Thank You Guv Bredesen

All over Tennessee - BVD was a little down after hearing about his grand mother.
Jerry : Hey BVD , I'm sorry about your grand mother
BVD : Hum , oh , yeah , thanks. Man , I now understand why that Governor Bredesen needs an underground bunker. It's to hide from all those people he's pissed off.
Jerry : What are ya talkin 'bout ?
BVD : Governor Bredesen is that guy who gave us HMOs. AND , if that hain't bad enuff , he's screwed Tennesseans on their health care.
Jerry : I don't think I've seen you so stewed before.
BVD : I'm only warming up. Look , my grand mother was 90 years old , when my mother tried to get her into some kind of assisted living help. I mean , like , my mom is not a trained health care provider.
Jerry : Yeah , I know that. Being 90 , she should have no problem getting into a home or perhaps have someone come out to her house and help provide basic care. The state does that , ya know.
BVD : My friend , you are very intelligent , butt , you don't know shit about Governor Bredesen. The state came out to the house to evaluate her medical condition. They found she was just like a spring chicken. This woman , who can't bathe her own self , she can't sit on the toilet without falling off , she can't walk across the room on her own power , she can't even wipe her own damn ass , and the state says she's a spring chicken. Therefore , she does'nt need any help of any kind. So , you know what they did ? They dumped her problems onto my mother , who does'nt know jack about health care.
Jerry : Well , it's like you said , Bredesen did give us HMOs. This guy made millions selling people insurance , they did'nt have. I think maybe he got his idea from State Farm. Heh heh heh
BVD : This is'nt funny Jerry. Did you know , under our governor , in Tennessee , to be considered disabled , you have to take a state I.Q. exam ? That's right. They've had folks with PHds take this test , knowing before hand , they will flunk it , because they are too smart. A person can be missing an arm , a leg , or even their brain. This state will not consider them disabled. And , that person administering the test , will be trying to sell you some kind of health aids , to help you with your health problems.
Jerry : Wwwwhat ? Hm , yeah , well , that would be right up Bredesen's ass , would'nt it ? Hm. So , what is the criteria for flunking this I.Q. test ?
BVD : Have a low or no I.Q. , show up on the test.
Jerry : What ? Ha ha ha ha. That's absurd. Ha ha ha ha
BVD : Yep , it shore 'tis. Hey , ya think that's bad ? Did you know , if the state had come around , to check up on my grand mother , while my mother wuz karin fur her , and saw all those bruises , from all of her falls , the state would have put my mother in jail , for abuse ?
Jerry : For some reason , I believe you. Hey ! Wait a minute. Is'nt your grand mother in a nursing home right now ?
BVD : Yes , she surely is. Butt , to get in there , she had to be dying first.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

 

How Much to SHIP That Thing ?

I've gotten some questions about the shipping charges being stated on Ebay. Well , it's like this - a flat rate is just that simple. It means - one price regardless. The post office has several boxes you can use for shipping. If your item fits into that box , the shipping is one flat fee , regardless.
What does that mean ? It means , if it fits into that box , you pay one fee regardless of weight or zip code. Keep in mind , I'm only talking about U.S. zip codes.
More and more Ebay sellers are using shipping fees to get more money. Ebay is now charging a fee for any item , selling under 25 dollars. That is right , that item sells for less than 25 dollars , Ebay hits the seller with a special fee/tax because it sold for so little. Ebay charges 9 % for the small transactions and now they have added a special fee to go with it.
Many sellers are off setting these costs , by raising their shipping fees. Ebay does not get a percentage of the selling costs. ARE'NT YOU GLAD OF THAT ! ! !
So , when you see a listing with shipping costs over 9 dollars , for something little , well , now you are in the know. I would recommend looking else where for the same item. There usually is another item of the same item being sold , that you are looking for and the seller is honest.

I have a Ebay seller's listing , that are classified ass being dishonest Ebayers. I welcome my readers , to give the names of those they have encountered. Remember , Ebay does'nt do much of anything with dishonesty. And " Why not ? " , you ask. Because they've been paid already. All those nickels and dimes have added up over the years. Regardless if a seller is honest or not , Ebay getz paid.

Friday, February 01, 2008

 

MiniCraft Models



Don't cha jest luv 't , when udor folks nowe more on a subjek dan 'u ? I nowe I do , cuz tat means I kan lurn sumthin neu. I placed a post here about MINICRAFT Model kits and I wuz surprized to see how mini folks knew more about MINICRAFT models than me. heh heh heh
In the pictures , one can see where I got my info , concerning MINICRAFT kits. I'll let you count them. The people who disagree with me , do not have a fourth of what is seen here.
My samples range thru the B-17 Bit-O-Lace , there are 4 different C-47 's , the Blackcat , there are 3 777-200 models in different liveries , 2 different Heavy Hog , the GOLD COBRA , the 1955 MERCEDES 300SL , and the 1/48 scale BLACKHAWK with U.S. CUSTOMS decals. ( this one is pure junk )
This blogg is all about truth and honesty , aside from sarcasm. So , when I say MINICRAFT is junk , I do have the proof , here in front of me. These models are for sale.
About the MINICRAFT/ACADEMY models. It usually works like this. The name on top is the packaging company , the bottom name in the maker. So , MINICRAFT has boxed an ACADEMY model. It's like the TESTORS/ITALERI models. TESTORS has boxed an ITALERI model.
And , there are also ACADEMY/MINICRAFT models. I have one here , it's the 1/72 PBY-5
made by ACADEMY and boxed by MINICRAFT. There are also the HobbyCraft/Hasegawa models. HobbyCraft is usually good , I recommend the Sharkmouth P-51. It's just a cool model , if you like war birds and/or the P-51 aircraft. Movin on
Both ACADEMY and ITALERI are good kits. You'll pay more !
Rumor has it , MINICRAFT is re-tooling their kits. I have not opened one of them , although I am aware of their hefty price tag. So , too repeat myself , I don't know if the new stuff is worth the price increase.
Mean while , Hobby Lobby has been selling MINICRAFT @ 2/3 rds off the price over the past weeks.
For the benefit of those just dying to know , there are 46 MINICRAFT kits present , for me to look over.

 

SUPER SUNDAY Bummer




For those who have not heard the horrific news , the lingerie super bowl has been canceled. That's right , there won't be any sweet looking snatch , fingering balls on the boob tube , this weekend. In other words , there won't be any boobs flapping in the wind or bouncing down the field.
Yes , for the last time , it's canceled. Please , no more questions. I was'nt around , when the decision was made , to cancel the game.
Wives across America , have scored one for a change.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?