Friday, June 29, 2007


Watch It ! ! !

Franklin , Tennessee - the local REVIEW APPEAL asked 5 Franklin residents , " Do you feel safe ? " Let me tell you something I know. A red armoured truck has been sitting in the parking lot at Red Dog liquers beside the Publix grocery. It watches people going into Red Dog and then follows them home. After watching their home , they have an idea of when it's safe to break into their house to steal stuff. Franklin Police Dick. Dixon @ 550 - 6758 , knows about these people and can't do anything about them. So , Franklin , " How safe do you really feel ? "


That's No Good

Franklin , Tennessee - what is going on at Hobby Lobby ? They have a 40 % off internet coupon this week and it seems it's no good.
Some cashiers will accept it and some won't. Hm...


A Kitty's Tail

Franklin , Tennessee - in the local A.M. , there's a story about the local animal shelter and their needs concerning killing unwanted kittens. Here's a story to go with that story. There's a house with an unfriendly woman in it. There is a cat and a mean ole dog living there also.
One fine day , the kitty escaped and went next door for whatever. This cat was in a horrible condition. His fur was falling off , with his ribs sticking out. And of course , dehydrated. Williamson County animal control was contacted and they did an investigation. It's no secret the dog was being mistreated also.
Anyway , the cat went to the shelter , and the person who turned in the report wanted to adopt the kitty. After going thru the hoops that the Williamson County animal control requires , a happy kitty found a new home. He is definetly a lap baby.
A week later , the woman came over and without saying anything , took the kitty while he layed outside the backdoor. This was reported to Williamson County animal control , who said there was nothing they could do. When asked about a refund or at least pay for another kitty , Tony simply said " NO ".
The next day , the dog was seen lying dead in the street. The kitty has not been seen again.
It's my opinion , Tony owes this kind person an explanation and another kitty. Either that kitty was up for adoption or it was'nt. He did say they investigated. What's going on over there ? Does animal control have any responsibility ? How many people have adopted an animal there and the animal was not up for adoption ? Too many questions and no answers.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007


Franklin's Money Pit

Franklin , Tennessee - now that the cable competition war has cooled down , COMCAST has returned to finding excuses to raise the rent. Their latest efforts are to ignore telling everyone that beginning in June , 2007 , the customer will pay 34 dollars for every service/repair call. Hmmmm.....................................
You read correctly. That's 34 dollars on top of the regular 205 dollars paid out every month. Keep in mind , that COMCAST is now selling a piece of mind insurance contract that covers all service/repair calls for just 3 dollars a month. By purchasing this insurance , the customer will not be required to pay the 34 dollar service/repair fee.
Since I upgraded to COMCAST's HD service , the HD box has been replaced 15 times. Obviousely , it will be most economical for me to purchase the monthly insurance policy. . . . . . NOT ! ! !
When COMCAST requires me to pay that first 34 dollars to repair their problem which they refuse to fix , I'm going to use that HD box for a frisbie and they can disconnect my COMCAST service. It is soooooooooo way past time for cable competition.
Without question , COMCAST is just a money pit. The more money ya put into it , the more COMCAST costs ya. Makes ya wonder what Franklin's politicians had to do with this.


Franklin Police Get Lubed

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD News talked with Franklin Police chief moore about the 700 dollar oil changes for police cars.
BVD : looking over a reciept of work done on a police cruiser. . . . .chief , it says here , that a lot more work was done on this car , than just an oil change. Cars need maintenance , what's the problem ?
moore : Can't you read ? 700 dollars for an oil change. That's obsurd.
BVD : Look chief , they were looking after the car's needs. It says right here , replaced the front tires. What's wrong with getting new tires if they are needed
moore : Look here. . . pointing to the wheels on his chair. . . .I've sat in this chair for 25 years , and I have'nt needed one replaced yet. This is a scam. I'm telling you right here and now , this is a scam !
BVD : I think I see the problem.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


Oooooohhh PARIS ! ! !

BVD News - Paris finally got her " Get Out Of Jail " card. With the feeding frenzy going on outside the jail , BVD sneaked inside to talk with an inmate.
BVD : What kind of person was Paris during her stay here ?
Inmate : I saw Paris naked !
BVD : I see. Did Paris have any trouble with the other inmates ?
Inmate : Oh God ! I saw Paris naked !
BVD : Well , what was that like ?
Inmate : I can't see half the time ! Oh God , help me , I saw Paris naked !
BVD : Is there a doctor around here ?

Later , after seeing this interview , Paris stated , " She's hot. "


Can You Write ?

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD News got word that the WILLIAMSON A. M. was looking for new people to write for their paper. " You don't have to be a reporter." , said the WILLIAMSON A. M. editor. We will teach you how to write your story. Pictured is an example of how the paper wants it's articles to read.



WMC's ambulance service had a boo boo.

Well , being an ambulance , they had a place to hide the body :)

Hm..oh yeah , a couple of 4x4's will cover that up and no one will notice



Today's military has sure changed. Here is a happy soldier getting a check for 20,000$ , for his idea that saved his unit several million dollars a year in B.S.
When I was in service , the officers got credit for an enlisted man's idea. Pictured is a small gun , found on small NAVY ships. The feed mechanism is toooo frail to fire the gun more than 3 times. So , they commission the ship anyway , despite the fact. The fix-it task was given to my department. We made a hefty part that just would not break. Heah Heah Heah ! ! ! The officers got some money , all we got was a letter.

Sunday, June 24, 2007


Marijuana Research Continues

Eveyone knows something about marijuana , even if they have never inhaled. Today , research continues on this illegal weed. On the Red Eye show , there was a discussion about marijuana research. The one thing they did not mention , if marijuana use is illegal , why do researchers get to use it legally ? My guess is , the researchers are government related. Afterall , the government did give us LSD and they were not arrested.
So , the moral of this morality is - if you get caught toking , just say , " I'm doing research for my country. "


CRAP ! ! ! They'rrre Baaaaaaack

Yes , folks , SG1 has returned to save the world again , in a movie format. This time they go to the artic , to fight the bad guys. If you look at the F-15 aircraft , you will notice the Oregon National Guard insignia. I did'nt know Oregon went that far north. Does'nt Alaska have an air guard unit or are they in Iraq ?
The ONG are happy and proud , to have something else to do , than go to Iraq.
It was funny to watch a tow motor pull an F-15 with Carter in the cockpit. No , the ONG would not let her sit in the aircraft with weapons on board. Smart , very smart.


Die SG1 , Die ! ! !

After ten years , producers have put SG1 out of their misery. For those who missed the last show , you did'nt miss anything exciting. The writers ran out of ink while everyone grew old while waiting for their next lines. I guess the money had run out and they could not afford to buy new stuff. That would explain the dumpster diving for prop material. The air farce is still looking for some missing uniforms. Rumor has it , that's all they had to wear home.
Hmm , everybody grows old. Is'nt that a take off from STAR TREK , the original ?

Sunday, June 17, 2007


Solar Lights

I was approached by a rocket scientist at NASA , about his solar lights not staying lit all night long. " What do I do ? " , he exclaimed with cross eyes.
Well , if it's a MALIBU unit , I can understand. Typical solar lights use a 600 AA battery. This can be substituted with a 400AA battery. There's not much difference in the brightness and the light will stay on for the night. If the light is covered for more than one hour in the shade , the light will suffer in performance. Here's a tip , the new MALIBU lights do use the 400 AA battery. A 600AA battery can be substituted instead and the light will perform well , despite having a smaller solar cell for charging. The older units had two batteries. Now , all the units I've seen , regardless of brand , use a single battery. This means a cheaper light in cost of parts , while the price to consumers , goes up with the increase in their popularity and demand. I've gotten several compliments for the lighting in my back yard.
Note : This information does not apply to the Hampton Bay deck light. They use a 2 x 600AA battery system and are made for deck use. I do not like using them in the back yard because of their brightness. However , they are great to have around the deck's edge and the steps.

Friday, June 15, 2007


Going Green at the Pentagon

This nations military headquarters , fondly known ass The Pentagon , recently celebrated Green Day. Nope , I'm not kidding. It seems someone wanted to start an effort in getting the generals to recognize that fact that there really is a planet outside those 5 walls.
Hm.......Pentagon........Green this an oxymoron ?


Flag Day

Yes everyone , America has celebrated another flag day. I did'nt see anyone celebrating. Let's take a fast history lesson. America's flag was originally America's military symbol. In time , Americans were told the flag stood for liberty and freedom.
Today , America's flag has returned to it's roots ass 100 million dollars a month goes into military research. That's just research , nothing else !
Not long ago , it was Great Britain who boasted , " The sun never sets on the British Empire. " In a short time , Great Britain went broke trying to conquer the world.
Today , America says , " The sun never sets on the American Empire. " In 4 short years , President Bush put Americans 9 trillion dollars in debt. Now , Americans are in a worse economic situation , than before George bought the office.
The only Americans seen celebrating Flag Day , were military.

Thursday, June 14, 2007


Paris Update

The latest Paris news are the complaints that Paris has been getting special treatment that other inmates do not get. One example is the security surrounding Paris , ass seen in this picture.
BVD : Hey , stop right there man. I don't see Paris in that picture.
Jerry : She's in there. Look down. See ? They have her down on all fours.


My Hero

During an interview , Jerry Springer stated , " After seeing my show , other countries don't want to come over and take this one. I've helped our fighting men and women so much. Of course , after watching my show , I feel like I need a condom on my tounge. "
BVD : Hey Jerry , lighten up dude.
Jerry : I am light , see my picture ?

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


God has been Found

While spending time in her jail cell , Paris exclaimed she has found God.
BVD : Why is God in jail ?
Jerry : Well , you know that battle between good and evil ?
BVD : Yes , I've heard about it. Butt , I've never seen it on the news though.
Jerry : The Devil had God arrested on various charges and you know how law abiding God tries to be , so now he's doing time in jail and while being a trustee , he is reaching out to those incarcerated.


Franklin Police Newbies

Franklin , Tennessee - Franklin Police have hired some new officers. Can you spot the undercover officer in this picture ?


Ohhh Rosie !

Now that Rosie's life has slowed down from being in everyone's View , she is spending quality time with her kids. yeah , yeah , I know , I did'nt think lesbians could give birth either , butt , here they are. BVD learned Rosie is teaching her kids , that " Mom " is a big fat slob of a lesbian Ho. Cum take a ride on me. In the other picture , Rosie checks her daughter's straps before a shuttle launch.

Monday, June 11, 2007


The Truth About Google

There's a big to doo about Google being accused of spying on it's users. Google was indeed the only search engine that stood up to the government's demands to turn over search records of their users. Well , now Google has been singled out as a spy among spies. And of course , Google denies these accusations.
Here's what I found. When visiting Google , my puter getz several data mining cookies with Google's name attached to them. These are E-Z to klean off. So , that's the scoop on the poop for the day.


Hampton Bay Solar Lights

Jerry went shopping at his old stomping ground at Home Depot for more solar lights. This time he found Hampton Bay Fence Lights. These are a 2 battery powered solar light system , that can be mounted just about anywhere. By keeping time of their staying lit , Jerry found these lights were superior to the Malibu solar lights.
Remember , if you have a problem with the Hampton Bay solar lights , Hampton Bay does not honor any implied warranty. The buyer is at the mercy of the seller. Home Depot will refund your money with a receipt. The popularity of these units has caused the price to go up 4 dollars in the past 2 months.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


Malibu Lighting

I placed solar lighting around my deck and it's wonderful. The deck has a lovely low light all night long and there's no electric bill to go with it. The down side , these lights are expensive up front , but , over time , they will more than pay for themselves.

Home Depot put these Malibu solar lights on special sale and I just could not resist myself , so I bought 16 of them. Out of 16 lights , 6 were usable. I guess that's why Home Depot had them on sale.

Malibu says do not return anything , they will take care of it. Well , here's the deal - their 800 number does'nt work. You have to call their pay number at their office to talk with someone. They boast a web site that does'nt work either. Keep in mind , Malibu brags of being in buisness for over 100 years.

Here's an update - I guess someone told Malibu about my blog. I received at no cost , batteries and replacement head pieces to repair the faulty units. Hmmm. When you call the toll free number , ( sometimes it does not work , keep trying ) you have to push both the sign and pound key to make your request. Malibu looks after the customer ( this time ) while Hampton Bay does not.


Paris Getz Medical Treatmentz

BVD News - When Paris checked into jail , she will have her hair attachments removed. Then she will have surgery to remove the cell phone implanted in her ear. The biggest concern the jail keepers had , was to ensure Paris felt comfortable in her new surroundings. So , they painted her bars to resemble penises. Now their concern is Paris might break her teeth.


Paris Iz No Party

BVD - Paris is in jail and some people have spoken their out rage.

Piniella : That just pisses me off. Nobody getz me off like Paris does ! !
That's it. I quit for the next 4 games ! !

Hasslehoff : Damn ! Now I don't have anybody to get drunk with ! Hey , does anybody know how to update my U-Tube videos ?

Monday, June 04, 2007


Free Help

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD was installing solar lighting in his yard with the help of some friends , Dutchie and Munchie.
The pictures show Dutchie deciding where to place the lights.
Munchie checks the contents in the box.
They both help with reading and interpreting the Spanish directions


Free Scuba

Paris , France - BVD was looking over the worldly news and found an article in Paris , showing people getting free SCUBA lessons. Scientists have shown that Paris will be under water in the year 2020 and the Eiffel Tower will be completely submerged. Buisness men , realizing a new world was coming , set up a pool beside the tower to give free SCUBA lessons while passing out coupons to be redeemed in 2020 for SCUBA gear.

Saturday, June 02, 2007


What'z Going On ?

Today's Tennessean , Vice President Cheney refuses to disclose his visitors at The White House. I thought the vice president was a position given to him by the voters. Why is he pushing the public out of their White House ? Does he have a voter agenda that says he can do what ever he pleases ? Well , maybe he does. Afterall , he is the president of Haliburton. This is a billion dollar construction company that does billion dollar construction projects in Iraq and they don't do the work while getting paid for it. Hmm. I wonder where all that money is going ?
With President Bush busyly breaking the laws of this country , it makes sense to kick the public out of the White House. By looking at Bush's actions during his time in office , it is clear he is turning the position of President of The United States into a private affair. In what direction , is he pointing this country ?



Vanderbilt University - BVD Sportz - Vandy's baseball team have started something. Yep , THEY WON ! ! !
In last night's NCAA Tournament , Vandy took Austin Peay , 2 - 1 in an 11 inning nail biting game. Five month old Kaden shows his feelings with Grandma Pat while watching the game on closed circuit TV.
Kaden was estatic , said Grandma Pat , this was the first time he was allowed to stay up , past his bedtime. Being a future baseball player , this was one time we just could'nt say no , Kaden spit tobacco on the floor while I chewed my fingernails off , she continued.
Kaden remarked , I had prayed to Fujilla and sacrificed 2 virgin chickens in hopes that Vanderbilt would pull something from their baseball cap besides Vaseline.

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