Monday, July 31, 2006


The Third Arm

Vanderbilt University 's Nuclear Experimental Lab - BVD News , have'nt you ever wished for
1- a third eye
2- a third brain
3 - a third arm
4 - a third ( ok guys , I heard that )


Today's News I'm Sad To Say

Franklin 's Governor Jay Johnson got all hunched over hearing Metro was going to get Brentwood 's sewer money.

Franklin will start using Brentwood 's idea of using written surveys in hopes that complaints against the police department will drop.

Jay Johnson has learned that Tennessee 's teacher standards are soooo loooooooow , he qualifies to teach. His office secretary printed him the needed liscence so he can legally be around the young illegals to teach the birds and the bees. Johnson later stated , " It's a better reason explaining his soiled pants to his wife than loosing the Brentwood sewer money. "

The good folks at Nolensville want to expand. Scott Revoir of EXCEL Dirt Inc. remarked , " If I can screw people over a piece of dirt , then we can elect our own governor to legally screw anyone over a piece of dirt , just like in Franklin. "

Meanwhile , where UN relief trucks started to convoy into the areas hit most , the trucks stopped before reaching their destination because Conde Rice had not told the Israeli military aircraft not to fire on UN convoys.

Sunday, July 30, 2006


City Finds Highway Overcrowding Solution

City of Franklin Governor Jay Johnson has stated in an unofficial official manner , that he alone has found the reason for Franklin 's highways and byways being overcrowded. It's called the Bethlehem Fish Fry. People from all over the country drive , hike , and even walk to this once a year fish migration to Bethlehem's church. When asked about the rest of the year's overcrowded highways , Mr. Johnson assured everyone , the city would get billed for this years underfunding highway engineering programs and a counciling bill for this year's overflow management for getting all those people to this year's fish fry. Ass for the overcrowded streets during the rest of the year , Mr. Johnson assured everyone , the fish fry was a once a year thing , not including the people going home on Friday afternoons

Friday, July 28, 2006


McKay's Mills Cats Found

McKay's Mill in Franklin - BVD Bloggtographer. After constant complaining and nagging about her neighbor's cats , Ms. Fingerfoogle was finally smiling when all the cats disappeared. People were quietly finger pointing at Ms. Fingerfoogle ass the culprit responsible for the lose of their loved ones all over the community ass there was'nt a cat to be found for miles around , until last night around about 9 p.m. Ms. Fingerfoogle let out a blood curdling scream into the 911 telephone , the one outside the old McKay's place. The police were immediately dispatched to the screaming scene. All the missing cats in the neighborhood were found in Fingerfoogle's fridge , chilling and eating frozen desserts , while keeping cool in this hot weather. Meanwhile , Ms. Fingerfoogle is facing several criminal charges including catnapping. The judge was heard to say " I want her buried so deep under the jail , no one will ever have to hear her screaching voice again."
The local high school kids denied knowledge of knowing anything and showed their report cards to prove it.


Tennessee shows it has no law over the law

Tennessee court system - State Trooper Lonnie Carrol was in Sumner County court for possession of kiddie porn. Trooper Carrol will be allowed to keep his job if he can prove he can stay out of trouble. This included keeping photo equipment away from women. How will he accomplish this feat with the equipment in his patrol car ? Well , there goes his cell phone.
Sumner county is well known for it's parties involving under age participants with law makers and judges.
On another note , during the state's cleanup of it's highway patrol department , east division , all troopers in Jasper were assured their jobs were safe within the safety department while their camera gear was taken away on a temporary basis , till the heat blows over.

Thursday, July 20, 2006


Rick Horowitz talks about a Man's Man

The Tennessean - this morning , Rick praised and explained that it's OK for kids to hear President Bush talk plain shit. Butt , he failed to mention the fact , that while Bush talks the talk , Bush can't walk the walk. Bush was overheard to say that he was in the mood to call someone and make something happen. Hmm , good thing Bush was'nt walking and chewing with his mouth open at the same time. There was no phone call to make peace happen , and teaching our kids to be like a 2 faced politician is'nt good either. Well , now we know what sort of manly man Rick goes for......
Peace is not on Bush's mind. Why should it be ? Afterall , he is not the one being shot at. It's like the stem cell research he shot down. Afterall , that does'nt do him any good either , so , why do it ? Bush is on the down hill slide going out of the white house. So , why should he do anything ? He does'nt have to. This is what Bush calls leadership. He learned all about being a leader during his military service.

Monday, July 17, 2006



This morning on CNN - how many of you were up early this morning to see CNN's hot mike in action ? President Bush is feeding his face while saying " Syria needs to stop this shit ". Of course , it's interesting how Bush dimisses American blame in this game. The American people are a lot to blame for the mess in the middle east. If you think I'm joking about American involvement , look for yourself on your TV screen. That's an American M-109 howitzer firing American made shells. Yeah , I'm talking about those big things that look like tanks. Well , that's not a tank. It's a howitzer on tracks. And , Oh Yeah , those airplanes buzzing around. Those are American built F-15 and F-16's being flown by American trained pilots and carrying American made bombs. Israel does'nt have money to wage war , so America gave them all they ask for. America even built them a brand new military air base. We are also funding the killing in Lebanon. Did'nt know that did you ? We paid for the invasion of the West Bank , so settlers would have money to build with on land that was stolen from it's real owners. Then we paid for those settlers to move out. Now we are paying for shelling women and children who have no where to go butt one hole in the ground to another. Yep , makes ya proud to be an American , don't it ? Bush is'nt going to stop Syria. Why should he ? We give them money to kill people and Bush says shit into a hot microphone. That's how a politician works. America put Bush in the white house which means we support the killing in the middle east. President Reagan got us into Lebanon , and got us out after failing miserably. Bush has said several times , he will do things just like Reagan did. And , Bush has done just that. The blood on Bush's hands won't wash off. Yes , Bush could stop this whole mess , butt , why should he? Afterall , he's just following Reagan's footsteps. At least Bush got to eat breakfast in peace. Why are we there again anyway ? CNN won't say. Hmm , you don't suppose there's something to reincarnation do you ? The Templar's failed , and now the Republicans are failing. The people over there don't want us. Why can't we leave them alone ? Why do we have to replay history again and again ? We get upset with Iran building a nuclear bomb. Well , what about Israel having American made nuclear warheads in underground silos ? It's not a secret. It's just not talked about. If your neighbor had a nuclear bomb , would'nt you want one too ? What's going on over there is'nt war. It's genocide with an extermination agenda. I'm not asking you to take my word on this , look it up for yourself. The information is out there.

Saturday, July 15, 2006


President Bush gets Cloned

Vanderbilt University - BVD Bloggtographer. Deep within the bowels of the Vanderbilt Medical Center , some mad scientist and disbarred doctors have been experimenting with cloning politicians. Their first success was cloning an incontinent , incompetent President Bush. Doctor Morris , Vanderbilt Trauma Department stated , " Making a Bush clone was the easiest thus far. There's no money problems , and we don't have to worry about IQ standards. "

Friday, July 14, 2006


Oxyconton - Did You Know

Nashville and Middle Tennessee - Thieves are going after oxyconton because it's very addictive and because it has a high street resale of 25 dollars or more a pill. Oxyconton is prescribed by doctors for pain. The down side , doctors can get you hooked on the stuff , and they are not responsible for withdrawal problems. Oxyconton has several side effects , including loss of mental control , violence provoked at the drop of a hat , eye sight degeneration , and simple crazyness. The person has no control or will not remember their actions. I don't understand why doctors prescribe the stuff when there is something better , that controls pain without the side effects.

Did you know , at Walmart , when you want your oxyconton refilled , although you have a legal script , they think you are an addict. Walgreens has stopped stocking the stuff due to robberies.

I did mention a better drug , but I'm not going to list it here since someone might decide to rob a store for the stuff. I will say , at Walmart , when you want to fill your script with this drug , they do not look at you as being a drug addict. That stuff is that serious and strong. It is commonly used for cancer patients and the better doctors are using it for other applications where severe pain is encountered. It's even better than morphine. And , you don't have the upset stomach that goes along with it or even the dry mouth. I think I've given you enough clues to what the drug is. If you need oxyconton , you will have a problem getting it filled. Ask your doctor for alternatives.

I would suggest you stay away from Spectrum in Franklin , and Pain Management in Antioch. You are just asking for a lot of problems in those 2 places. Being in pain is enough problem as it is. Hint - Don't let their problems become part of your problems. Good Luck.

P. S. - if you are lucky enough to know what Kentucky Fried Chicken is , it works wonders on arthritus , and sometimes you can get relief with some back problems.

Thursday, July 13, 2006


Awards Given

Arizona , USA - BVD Bloggtographer , while on vacation , BVD came across the NOT MY JOB Awards being given in the state of Arizona , in zone 85. BVD learned that state highway employee " Biggin " , ( that's his only name ) won this years award. Biggin had his name turned in multiple times this past year for not doing his job and ignoring common sense. Due to political connections , he can not be fired.


McKay's Mill Has Cats

Franklin Tennessee , BVD Blogtographer - BVD heard there was a cat problem at McKay's Mill. He did'nt think much about it until Jim Chittum was reported missing from his front porch. Then reports that Timmon's Properties was quietly packing up and moving out , followed by reports that cell phone users were mysteriously hanging up. BVD went to investigate. Upon arriving at McKay's Mill , he decided against an interview.


Ebayers Beware

Nashville Tennessee - There's a Martin Fike selling junk on Ebay , he wants you to know it's OK. Fike got his hands on a boatload of water soaked goods from Katrina and is selling it on Ebay , while conveniently leaving out defective information in the item's description. Fike , in court , told the judge , he would loose money if he included such information. " An item is new , if it's unopened , despite the mold , mud and mildew underneath the wrapper " , he added.
Fike has used Factory Deals , U - Bid , Return Deals , Surplus Deals , and Bargain Depot for his Ebay names. Channel Four bought a printer and a VCR from him , and they were both broken.
Hey , it's your money

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


Paula's World

Yes folks , there really is a Paula. Here's the best shot from her phone cam. She Sorta reminds me of Springfield , where the Simpsons live. Here's a shot from a day in her life. She is showing off her cyborg implant. She complains that she can't keep a boyfriend. Well , would you want to be around someone who complains all the time while demanding those around her to obey her universal laws. I for one , do not orbit her universe. I did remove the pictures of her pants since that was the only part of her to look at without going blind. Even the borg refused to assimilate her due to incompetent parts and shoe size incompatibilities. She has demanded I give you her address - paulaincolour. Be careful and cover one eye. That way , when you go blind , you will still have one good eye.


Re election Strategy

President Bush is showing his strategy for helping his fellow republicans in the upcoming presidential race for the White House


The Before Getting Married Test

I was happy. My girlfriend and I were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, quite a lot, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, which made me feel uncomfortable. One day she called me and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me, that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. So before I got married and committed my life to her daughter, she wanted to make love to me just once. What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. So, she said, I'll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it, just come and get me. I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and went to the front door... I opened it, and stepped out of the house. Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, we are very happy and pleased, you have passed our little test. We couldn't have asked for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

Moral of the story: Always keep your condoms in your car...


The new Mutants in Town

HollyWood - BVD , there's a new movie coming soon to a theater near you. It's the X SQUIRRELS.
Pictured is NutMeg. She controls thunder and lightning.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


One Fine Day

What Gay people teach their kids

little girl : Hey baby , you got any condoms ?
little boy : Yes , but they are for me and my boyfriend.


EEOC , Why Do We Have It ?

Vanderbilt University , people always want to know how their tax dollars are spent. Let's take a look at the EEOC federal guide lines. EEOC is the Equal Employment Opportunity Clause that says you can not discriminate on hiring based on prejudice. Let's see how that works at Vanderbilt. Let's fill a tenure track faculty position.
The Federal Government will pay that person's salary and benefits for three years , provided that person meets certain minority criteria. Female gender does'nt necessarily count and being a white woman is'nt minority enough. However , Canadian female with Indian blood does count. Spanish born also counts if you are a male. Do you see a picture emerging ?
Now that a minority person has been selected , the Feds will boost their entry salary. Nice , eh ? There's an automatic pay raise for being a minority. And for the next 3 years , the American taxpayer pays for their employment in America.
Lets see how the new hires are doing. The Canadian Indian woman does not have experience or a Phd. She lets a grad student teach her classes while she works on her Phd. And , she receives faculty wages while someone else does her work. The students complain , which takes away her chances for tenure and she is let go.
The Spanish born male can't teach , and hates Americans , which shows in his class room. After 2 years , he is told that he will be gone after the 3rd year. In the meantime , he can use Vandy's resources to look for other employment. During his 3rd year , he allows his classes to suffer while he searches for new employment. The complaints from his students are meaningless , since he has been fired already. No , those students don't get a refund.
Do you see a revolving door here ? Keep 'em coming , keep 'em going , and Vanderbilt has free faculty to teach their classes. Now that's a deal.

Wait a minute Jerry , how does the EEOC function while paying salaries for hiring minorities ? These are Federal guide lines. The government can do ass they please with America's tax dollars and America's laws.
Would'nt you want exceptional people filling those faculty positions ? Well of course you would. Butt , you don't get free money when you do.

Monday, July 10, 2006


The Daily Office


TITS , Another Way To Screw Tennesseans

NISSAN , Tennessee - I wonder how many people , who call themselves Tennesseans , know the meaning of TITS ? It stands for Tennessee Industrial Training Service. And like it's acronym , TITS , it's all about the milk money. TITS first came to light with it's training program for NISSAN ass it began building the industrial complex at Smyrna. At that time , a typical Tennessean was considered to be an uneducated , back in them thar hills , Redneck of a Hillbilly , and therefore needed special manufacturing skills , like welding , and simple language skills like ass kissing.
Tennessee built a training center to cater specifically to NISSAN 's wishes. The building housed the Co-ordinator offices , several classrooms , the latest manufacturing equipment , the newest machines , the best welders money could buy , and the latest in teaching technology. Well , so much for using the state of the art , State of Tennessee 's educational system. The instructors were paid 25.oo/hr. plus car mileage roundtrip , and they got a certificate for every different class they taught. Those certificates were better than high school credits. ( why did the instructor need a certificate for a class they taught ? ) To get one of those instructor jobs was simple politics. Knowledge of particular training and/or the ability to teach was not required. One of the training co-ordinators was a dump truck driver from Florida. Does this tell you anything about credentials ? When NISSAN first hired for Smyrna , Tennesseans were not in the group , because no one in Tennessee had car manufacturing experience. NISSAN took from the big three , to fill their higher level ranks , saving the hard work on the lines for Tennesseans and such. Then , to keep those lower level mindless people from thinking they were learning anything so they could be promoted , NISSAN had them attend training classes that were deliberately designed to be over their heads. When the TIT money ran out , NISSAN took over the job training , and did it better. Hmm.
So , with NISSAN invading Franklin , the question has been asked , will there be any TITS ?


That's Funny

Vanderbilt University - BVD Bloggtographer , Somewhere in Vanderbilt's Medical Research Building , in a basement laboratory , there's experimental research into animal laughter , Let me guess , another Chairman Thackston joke ?

Sunday, July 09, 2006



Franklin , Tennessee - Remember NISSAN 's first invasion of Tennessee ? The company big shots went around to all the local organizations and gave them money. Fifty dollars here , a hundred there , and a few five hundred dollar donations sprinkled in between. Those little seed dollars , ( aka investment dollars ) have sure brought in the high interest rates.
Today , NISSAN people are getting $50,000 apiece just for moving to Franklin , from Governor Bredesen. The City of Franklin's government is passing out a Welcome Wagon package worth $$$$$ , and the people of Tennessee are giving them advice on how to spend that money. What more could they ask for ? When NISSAN first came to Tennessee , it cost this country a cool one Billion dollars up front. I wonder what the costs will be with this second wave coming in ? You would think , that with all that money coming from Tennesseans , we would at least get a special discount on NISSAN new vehicles , butt no , we have to pay full price on those ass well. The only people coming out on top of this is NISSAN. Must be nice.

I actually had someone ask me when did NISSAN first invade Tennessee ? I reckon no one remembers Smyrna.



The future is NOW ! ! !

Saturday, July 08, 2006


Hand Job

posted 06-28-06
Kicking back , taking a little break , my good little boy trolls the net for me , while I check my mail.
I have traveled all over this beautiful country. One thing that bites my ass , is a auto repair shop that takes people for a ride , and I'm not talking about in bed either. Seeing this picture reminds me of a dealership called Harpeth Ford in an expensive little B. S. town in Tennessee.
A friend's Ford van had a knocking in the steering wheel. The good folks at Harpeth said their FORD certified mechanic found the belts had slipped in the expensive Bridgestone tires having 3,000 miles on them. They were not covered under warranty. The Service Writer explained new tires would fix the problem. Of course he recommended the highest end tires which included warranty in the price , however , mounting , balancing , valve stems , tire removal , tire mounting , tire weights and labor were extra.
OK , her van is in the shop getting new tires. When we returned to her house to wait it out , the phone was ringing like crazy. Yep , it was that nice little man , you know , the Service Writer at Harpeth Ford , he was all excited , out of breath , and trying to explain that her ball joints were busted on both sides of her steering. They needed replacing to ensure proper front end alignment after mounting the new tires. Not knowing any better , she authorized the work. Now any good man would know , those ball joints were causing the steering wheel knocking. The so called tire belts had not slipped. How does a tire belt slip anyway , after it's been cooked in an oven ? If that FORD certified mechanic had looked in the first place , would'nt he have seen the real problem ?
The good folks at Harpeth Ford took my friend for 1,500 hundred dollars. And , NO , she has'nt been back since. In the meantime , I've been learning a few things about cars. That extra little bit of knowledge has paid for itself more than once , since that little episode. And , you won't find a Ford in my drive way. American auto makers wonder how foreign car makers beat them every year. Well , it's no wonder to me.
I hope this little story helps someone out there.

I copied this from another blog. Are they talking about Harpeth Ford here in Franklin ? Their blog does not say where they are. I did rewrite some of this post to clean up the language.

I got a response from her. It is Alexander Ford-Mercury. 07-07-06


Goodwill Industries

Nashville Tennessee , I saw Ms. Cheap in the Tennessean talking about being cheap. Her article was about shopping the Goodwill Outlet. There's no doubt about the good will that Goodwill Industries does for the community. Several years ago , I did some work for Goodwill , thinking like so many others , that I was helping others. Here's a short list of what I learned.

There are 2 types of employees at Goodwill - management and monkeys.

Goodwill has employees with 15 loyal years of service and they still make $5.45 an hour.

Their manager , Mike , would rather raise hell with the employees , than spend time with his wife. It's amusing to him , everytime he pisses on someone.

Goodwill is a family affair. The pay is " Good " too , just look at their cars.

Vanderbilt Civil Engineers designed their new building and they can't fix the leaky roof and the loading docks are a well designed Greek Tragedy.

Goodwill could do things better , butt why , afterall , that would cost money. Buying a new car every year has priority , and there's those pay raises to consider. Meanwhile , employees don't get pay raises.

When Goodwill accidentally hires someone with brains , management gets rid of them , immediately !

Goodwill has broken many commercial vehicle laws. Sometimes , there are fines up to 4,000$ dollars. They always get off without paying. ( why do they bother to write them )

The really nice point about Goodwill - you can unload your unused stuff lying around and get a tax break for turning it in. They don't take everything , so call ahead before dragging it over.

Thursday, July 06, 2006


Need Insurance ?

I've heard several people complaining about their insurance company not doing the right thing. Well , it's going to get worse. Afterall , we are in Tennessee. Years ago , this state had a insurance commission with teeth. Today , it just sleeps and the insurance companies laugh about it.
All to often these days , people are learning after it's too late , all they have bought with their policy is nothing more than a bill of goods. If you get legal representation , that will cost 45% or more. So , ask yourself , " Is it worth it ? "
Soo , what do you do ? There are still some reputable insurance companies in this country. You just have to take the time to find them. Start by staying away from Travelers and State Farm. Then search outside of Tennessee. You'll find other states are not like Tennessee. Other states really do have a insurance commission with teeth. Thanks to Tennessee's government , insurance companies do not have to do anything , that's right , nothing. When you sue , they still don't have to do anything. For example , State Farm has legitimate claims sitting around after 12 years of legalities. Could you wait that long ? What if that's your loved one in the hospital and State Farm refuses to pay the hospital bill ? What are you going to do ? Your lawyer can't force them to do the right thing. Not even after 12 years.
I'm going to tell you one last time. Don't wait and learn after it's too late. Do something about your insurance needs before you need them. For some reason , the news media won't touch this story.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006



Perhaps MEGAFLICKS should use a different font

Everyone has seen how COMCAST treats their customers in the service department. Everyone saw how AOL treats their customers on the phone. Now it's 's turn to make the news by arresting a customer , who wanted a refund. Mr. Segev wanted a refund for a ticket he did not purchase. He made several phone calls to priceline in an attempt to reach a live person to talk to. Priceline states Mr. Segev made soo many phone calls , their phone system got plugged up , preventing their other customers from getting thru. So , says priceline , we had him arrested and thrown into jail with the other perverts. Priceline is known for their Shatner commercials. After this story came out , State Farm Insurance was back in the news again for dropping more customers when they needed their insurance to cover the costs of car wrecks.
I don't get this. What ever happened to the saying " The customer makes our buisness possible , or , the customer is always right. " More and more , people are learning , all they 've really bought is a bill of goods with lots of fine print. America sure is changing.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006


Playing the Anthem

Arizona - seen on CNN , the sheriff of Maricopa county has the National Anthem played at all the jails and at Tent City which holds the illegals and makes them stand at attention.

I don't see anything wrong with that. While in the Navy , American naval ships played the national anthem of other countries while visiting their ports.

FYI - Maricopa county has the highest percentage of identity theft problems in this country.

Happy 230 years America.



Sometimes you get to eat
Sometimes you get eaten

Saturday, July 01, 2006



I hope everyone has a safe and great Fourth of July time. Unlike some people , I won't be burning the flag. What was Congress thinking about , to allow burning the American flag ? We can't burn a dollar bill or burn our trash , butt we can burn the American flag.
Say THANK YOU to all the Veterans you meet. Those small words go along way with them.


General Motors

To give you an idea of how old I am , I can remember :

General Motors did buisness with Nazi Germany.

When GM had a 90 day warranty on their cars. After 91 days , the body would show rust.

GM had a better idea of converting a V-8 gas engine into a diesel without thinking about it. That idea cost GM over a BILLION dollars in warranty repairs and thousands of customers

GM put some really stupid ideas into their Cadillac line and lost even more customers after the diesel idea , tooo many to mention here

GM spent over a half BILLION dollars to create a research facility to design features into cars that the local automotive mechanic would be unable to repair.

GM supported the UAW to descriminate against hiring local people ( aka Americans ) , when moving into a new town.

GM supported the UAW in many ways and still got screwed in quality performance and production. Did anyone get a new car that had a mysterious metal knocking noise in the trunk ? The dealerships were finding a bolt hanging on a string , with a note saying " Fuck You " The back seat and insulation had to be removed to find it.

There really was a time GM could put their name on an empty tuna can and people would buy it. Today , GM smells like that empty tuna can.

GM really did advertise " with help from the Japanese , we can build a better quality car. " How many people remember those ads for Toyota/GM

Today , is it any wonder why GM is in trouble ? In years past , GM did have some pretty good features on their cars. NISSAN studied them , and copied them into their product. Of course , one of NISSAN's secrets in building a better car , was to take all the good ideas of other companies and incorporate them into their products. That's not being innovative or original , butt , it did give NISSAN a better selling product. Remember the Zs ? Remember that little truck ? That gave NISSAN the toe hold it needed to invade America. And now , they are ready to conquer GM. Why am I not surprised ?

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