Thursday, October 28, 2010

 

Are We Really Safe ?


In today's TENNESSEAN , we are told about a bomb plot the FBI was hatching and watching saying , "No one was in any danger."

What I would like to know is this - We are told the FBI was watching the 9/11 people ass they trained to fly the aircraft. Surly the FBI knew before hand what these guys were up to otherwise , the FBI would'nt have been watching them. Soooo , why did the FBI allow 9/11 to happen?

I have my doubts about being "safe" in this country ass Franklin Police give fact to this thought everyday

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

 

Vanderbilt Trauma Upgrades Medical Learning



Vanderbilt Medical Center - Chancellor Zeppos announced today , Vanderbilt Trauma in co operation with education at Peabody , has instituted the new and improved state approved learning aids. When medical students are too busy in the restroom , they can get helpful hints to real life scenarios dealing with real life situations , right on the walls around them.
Gee also stated , " These scenarios use simple language , which makes learning that much simpler. And , Trauma Doc Morris has approved these learning aids for training new Trauma doctors and nurses. "

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

 

Pee Wee Sees David Letterman

New York City - David Letterman gave Pee Wee Herman a warm New York City style welcome , including presenting him with the key to the city.


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Pee Wee in turn gave David no discount tickets to his Broadway Play nor did he share any of his spilled M&M's (those are so special)

 

Pee Wee Does New York

New York City - Pee Wee Herman accompanied Regis on a city tour to give Pee Wee an idea of New York City life.


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Pee Wee is in New York for his Broadway play.

 

New Nude Pictures



Vanderbilt University - BVD News - the faculty at Vanderbilt's School of Engineering are all smiles ass they admire newly released pictures of their " Babe " , Marylon Monroe. These newly released pics are selling for 5,000$. You can have these for free. Now we know what goes on in that building when the students are'nt around.

Monday, October 18, 2010

 

Franklin Police Are Useless


Franklin , Tennessee - BVD News was on hand for the presentation of the most Useless Award , being given to The City of Franklin Police Department. Receiving the award , on behalf of the police department , was their owner , operator and proprietor , Jay Johnson , Esq.
BVD talked with several people about the hard work , it took , just to qualify in the points. Here are the final choice reasons , ass to why Franklin Police were given this award.

1 - They've kept their pedophile from the public's radar
2 - Stealing the Red Cross' Christmas surprise
3 - Supporting Jay Johnson's Traffic Court system
4 - Helping to keep Franklin safe from encroaching unions
5 - Helping The City of Franklin , to maintain a steady average of 600 crime investigations per month for 2010
6 - Despite Officer Richard's hostile attitude towards the public , he was promoted anyway and received the Officer of the Year award in 2005 and 2006
7 - Franklin Police officers are accredited , for helping Jay Johnson maintain his Metro-Male appeal with Chief jackie :)
8 - Maintaining one of the state's largest , CALEA accredited kiddie porn libraries
9 - The court judges discovered Franklin Police detectives , use only Official CALEA Brand , approved and accredited , cameras , without film or batteries
10 - approved a new department building that resembles a jail without bars while spending 28 million dollars just for it's design ( this does not include architect fees , or Jay Johnson's new office floor )
11 - lawfully hunting deer with machine guns and tasers
12 - secretly killing beavers , to preserve Franklin's growth potential
13 - keeping drunk elephants off the side walks
14 - Franklin Police were seen playing bumper cars with police cruisers , without hurting anyone ( gives them something to do and helps keep them off the street )
15 - giving courtesies to their law abiding friends , including DUI offenders
16 - Tennessee's first police department to put bar codes on police badges. ( they are selling em like hot cakes )
17 - They use Saara Akaash reruns for training their S.W.A.T. teams in demolitions
18 - watching Saara Akaash reruns , gives Chief jackie , something meaningful to do with her office hours
19 - Traffic citations now have a police usage tax , plus a property tax , a vehicle usage tax , a gasoline usage tax , a city street service tax , a city street usage tax , a green fee for tree usage credits , a telephone poll removal fee , a Franklin Police Special School District Sex Education Class Act tax , a sales tax for crossing the Williamson County line and of course , state , city and local taxes
20 - Chief jackie gets advice from Tim Taylor
21 - The Banana Boy was last seen , sleeping in a Franklin Police cruiser , using empty pizza boxes for blankets
22 - While giving a tour of the old police department's complex at the square , to the Useless Award judges , Chief jackie had trouble finding the elevator , going to the 5th floor
23 - the last time a Franklin Police officer used a taser gun , it backfired , causing bullets to scatter across the floor
24 - Franklin Police Detective Dixon works diligently everyday , making his wedding plans to marry Monika Singh
25 - While Franklin Police Detective Dixon , was showing a judge , how to shoot a pistol , the little sparkle maker , quit making sparks
26 - Providing thieves with a safe and friendly work environment
27 - The only friends , Franklin Police have , are the ones they have'nt given tickets too.
28 - using FOP funds for Chief jackie's sex change to help him be more Metro-Sexually happy with JJ
29 - Stealing blood monitoring equipment from diabetics , who don't have insurance
30 - Stealing medical supplies from their neighbors
31 - Maintaining an accredited work ethic
31 - Protecting Jay Johnson from those evil do-gooders
32 - Using dead beavers for Taser practice
33 - Harassing people

It was noted , that typically , only useless celebrities are given this award , butt this year , Franklin Police out did themselves by scoring higher than Britney Spears. Also , it was pointed out in the acceptance speech , given by a proud , beaming and fatherly like figure , Jay Johnson , that Franklin Police's score was completely off the chart , beating out both Ms. Spears and Paris Hilton.
While speaking , Mr. Johnson also pointed out , that Franklin Police , has the honor , of being the first police department in America , to receive this award and that Franklin's former Mayor , Tom Miller , is an honorable mention. In his closing statements , Jay Johnson said , " I'm so very proud of my police department for doing an excellent job , of doing what I tell them to do. They all know , that if they don't , I'll fire them all and get some one else. And a special thanks to chief jackie , ya gotta love her , uh , um , him. "
The last time this award was given in this great State of Tennessee , was when Vanderbilt University's , Chairman Thackston , was declared legally and uselessly , dysfunctional in 1991.
The Useless Award , is based on the Useless Celebrity Index for the year 2007 , which is annually calculated compoundingly , by the New York Daily News.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

 

VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY AUDITIONS for FACULTY POSITIONS


Vanderbilt University , Nashville , Tennessee - BVD Bloggtographer reporting for The VANDERBILT HASSLER - Vanderbilt School of Engineering's ass kissing auditions for faculty positions went smoothly yesterday , ass hundreds of hopefuls got their faces into each others' asses , hoping to get one of the few , the open , tenure crack , track positions.
The former Civil Engineering Department , Chairman Thackston smiled and said , " It takes a lot of skin to get in your own office around here. These people know , when they get inside , they can't be fired. "
" So , it takes a lot of talent ? " , asked The Hustler
" Talent , what talent ? Look at me , after 45 years , I'm still here. " answered Thackston

Thackston now resides at Cumberland University. People are Bitching tired of having such a "Bastard Baby" around , they are now threatening to quit. When asked why he was here on Saturday , Thackston replied , "I'm staying alive , staying alive , staying alive. There's no one here on Saturday to throw rocks at me."

Thursday, October 14, 2010

 

Vanderbilt and Education

Vanderbilt University - BVD News was seen on the scene ass this was found in a trash can -

Someone at Vanderbilt , did'nt have anything to do , ( again ) So , they did some bean counting. When the powers that be , saw the bean pile , they chopped off some heads and had this information destroyed.

Did you know , that Vanderbilt today , has received so much money over the years , that today , I mean right now. Vanderbilt could give every person , in the state of Tennessee ( including illegals ) a college education and not miss one penny of the costs.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

 

EMINEM does VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY


Vanderbilt University - BVD News - Today at a special news conference , EMINEM showed off his sex change surgery. When asked why he did it , EMINEM stated " Aw , you like , know how it is. The others are wearing diamonds from their tonsels , tattooes on their dicks , diamonds in their naval , diamonds in their arm pits , or putting 12" clocks on their shoes , I wanted to be different ." The HUSTLER asked about the costs and body parts procurement , EMINEM remarked that information was protected by patient confidentiality.
Meanwhile , Chairman Thackston , who has nothing to do with confidentiality , was talking on the side with HUSTLER and said " the costs were covered by Vanderbilt's student lab fees. "
Ass the conference was ending , someone stated how large the vagina mons were , suddenly , Professor Art , from the anatomy department ( and surgical consultant for this operation ) exclaimed , "OH MY GOD , IT'S ON BACKWARDS"

Monday, October 11, 2010

 

VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY SHOES on CNN



Robin Meade on CNN's morning show talked about shoes. She pointed out important Vanderbilt statistics , that under grad men had an average 57 shoes while the ladies had an average 26 shoes. Robin was at a lose as to why the men had an odd number of shoes.
Vanderbilt spent on average $5,000,000 in one week to investigate these statistics.
When asked why this information was so important , a spokesman replied , " We were told , starting with taxes for the year 2010 , the IRS will be adding a shoe tax for unmarried couples. And we need to know now , for new enrollment guide lines , how many shoes a person should have before we accept them into the Vanderbilt bubble. "

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