Tuesday, March 31, 2009

 

JJ Update

Franklin , Tennessee , BVD Bloggtographer - would'nt you jest knowz it , butt , someone jest haad ta azk , what haz becum of Jay Johnson , Franklin 's former city administrator ?

Jay has finally made it to the big times in the cartoon industry. He plays the sheriff on Squidbillies. It seems , after spending all that time ass the leader , of Franklin 's ever so popular Police Department , becoming a cartoon sheriff was just natural for him.

Meanwhile , back at " The City " , despite JJ being fired , his affluential effluence , continues to make The Franklin Police Department , what it still is today. According to the latest word on the grapevine , Chief jackie can not get his " stupid ass " to bed , without first saying his prayers , while wearing his JJ brand pajamas , with his JJ doll comforter , under his arms. Rumor control has it , that JJ even designed a bedtime gown for his " special " woman , that jackie still wears from time to time.

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Monday, March 30, 2009

 

Franklin's New Recruits


Franklin , Tennessee - BVD Bloggtographer , Franklin Police has a few new faces.

BVD : Have you seen the new recruits ?
Jerry : Nope. Why would I want to
BVD : Oh , just because
Jerry : Have you ever talked to another Franklinite , that had a need for Franklin Police and admitted to it ?
BVD : Um , er , ah , er , well , no actually.
Jerry : Okay , now that you've shown me the picture , just what are the requirements for winning this here Soto award
BVD : Well , it helps if you can sleep on the clock and get away with it. Hee hee hee
Jerry : Hmmm , how about having the public believe you are acting in their best interests
BVD : Oooo , that bites. Okay , how about being able to grease the wheels to get over time pay without doing the time ? Or how about being able to roll a joint without spilling the goods ? Or being good at Brown nosing without showing a ring around the collar ?
Jerry : Hmm , are we trying to upstage each other or are we really being honest about the Franklin Police Department ? I mean , just because an officer would never let on that Franklin is really just a dirty , dishonest and deceitful little ole town. Mmmm , maybe it's their ability to screw people while giving them a warm and friendly smile
BVD : Hmm , those are good points. Do you remember that young black trainee ?
Jerry : Yeah , what about him ?
BVD : He did'nt make it.
Jerry : Why ? Was he too honest , was his soul not for sale or was he just too black for this department ?
BVD : Hmm , I don't know and jackie ain't sayin
Jerry : What ever the reason , Franklin's Police Department still has racial problems.
BVD : Well , having Coffee around did'nt do much to help inspire confidence with black people wearing badges and then those brothers beating up their women did'nt help either. It's interesting how their fellow brother officers looked the other way.
Jerry : Gee , I wonder why ? Could it be , if you wear the badge , you can beat a woman , butt , if you don't , you go to jail ?
BVD : Hmph , Coffee , now that was a few years ago.
Jerry : Yep and people still talk about him too. They just can't seem to move on.
BVD : Well , a little bit of that Coffee does go a loooong way
Jerry : Yeah and having Wisdom within the department did'nt help either
BVD : Oh man , that's a low law blow
Jerry : Yep and just think , Franklin Police can go even lower
BVD : Oooooooo !
Jerry : You think that's low ? I wonder where that recruit's inspiration comes from , Tim Taylor
BVD : Tell me why it is , when we talk about Franklin Police , it seems we are talking politics ?
Jerry : Perhaps it's because we know they are in bed with each other
BVD : That would explain a lot would'nt it
Jerry : You know , sometimes , I think you've been around the police too much.
BVD : ( snickering and snickers some more )
Jerry : " ? " What's so damn funny ?
BVD : ( snickers ) you said ( snickers ) Tim Taylor ( snickering some more )
Jerry : Yeah ( snickers ) I did say that , ( snickers ) did'nt I ( snickers turns into laughter )

Friday, March 27, 2009

 

Good Bye America

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD was watching CNN and started talking.

BVD : Hey , did you see this about the cop in Texas giving some guy a lot of grief during a traffic stop and the guy was racing to a family member who was dying at the hospital ?
Jerry : Yeah I did. I'm surprised it was'nt a Franklin cop doing that
BVD : Hmm , yeah , good point. Do you know why the police act they way they do ?
Jerry : Are you going to bring up America being afraid of it's own shadow again ?
BVD : Well , now that you mention it , do you understand what's going on with the world's money system ?
Jerry : Explain it to me
BVD : Ass you know , there seems to be some mysterious " Black Hole " , that is swallowing the world's money supply. Look at Bush and the way he acted on the subject. The country is circling the drain and Bush is on vacation.
Jerry : Are you going to make a point here ?
BVD : Yep. All of these accurances are related
Jerry : Say what ?
BVD : Yep. Let's start with Bush. Where was all of that money going ? Billions of dollars went somewhere and no one knows where. So , what's going on ?
Jerry : I dunno , butt , you are going to tell me , right ?
BVD : Riiiiiiiiiiight. Look , the reason Bush was going thru so much money with no one knowing where it was going , was because Bush was bank rolling 2 governments.
Jerry : What ?
BVD : Yeah. You see , there's this other American government , nick named the " Shadow Government ". It's not a real authorized government of America , butt , our politicians are supporting it.
Jerry : Ok , what's it all about ?
BVD : Remember the first President Bush preaching a new world order ?
Jerry : Yes , I do remember that
BVD : Well , this is it. You see , there was a concern about a nuclear strike taking out our government. So , another government was put into place ass a backup. In the event say , CONgress was taken out , this backup government would intervene. The problem is , no country can support 2 governments. Butt , the really scary part about this " Shadow Government " is the simple fact , it does not recognize The Constitution of The United States or even this country's laws. If they take control , slavery would be the job of the day for all of " US ".
Jerry : OK. So , what does this have to do with the cops in Texas ?
BVD : It has to do with every cop in this country. Remember CALEA ? That's why there's a need to marry law enforcement agencies with politicians.
Jerry : Hmmm , you might be on to something here.
BVD : I know I am. Look , why is it , that Madoff guy is getting off so easy ? He has connections. Why was Bush not impeached ? He had connections who killed the motion. Why do police act so badly towards the public ? Because America is failing. That's why. The police know , the public is nothing more than a bunch of scared sheep.
Jerry : What makes you say America is a failure ?
BVD : Simple. How can a country of laws , allow some people to be above the law ? Having laws for someone and not for everyone is dysfunctional. Another example is right here in Franklin. What does it take to be a judge here ?
Jerry : Oh , that's an easy one to answer , " politics " .
BVD : That's right. Why do politics determine who is the judge ? Why do politicians get to ignore the laws ?
Jerry : Hmmmm.
BVD : Look , that little book you have on Franklin Police. That alone proves the fact , that America is a failure. The ideas of being free are now nothing more than a pipe dream. Let's move on to 9/11. That was not a terrorist attack. It was anarchy. Americans did that deed. They used people of other countries to fly those planes. You want more ?
Jerry : Yeah , I want more.
BVD : It took a lawsuit to prove , the American government was behind the killing of Dr. Martin Luther King jr. And , I'll bet you the American government was behind the assassination of President Kennedy. Oswald did'nt put that hole on the forehead of that president.
Jerry : Yeah , that was strange alright.
BVD : Jerry , I don't know where a safe place or a safe country is to live these days. All I know , is that America is dying and there are perverted people in another American government eager to take full control of everyone's lives. And it won't be pleasant when they do.

Friday, March 20, 2009

 

AIG Changes It's Stripes


Nashville , Tennessee - The Tennessean reports today , AIG is changing to AGLA. Well DUH guys , where you been all these years ?
AIG has always been AGLA ever since when. Butt , don't tell The Tennessean that , because they want you to know , they are on top of the story.

Yep , just like The Review Appeal newspaper in Franklin , The Tennessean reports the news , just like it happened 2 months ago. Now that's what I call staying on top of things. I wonder if they are aware , President Bush is no longer in The White House. Hhhhmmmmmm. . . . . . . . . .

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

 

America's Dysfunctional Congress


BVD : Hey Jerry , when will CONgress stop with all of this AIG crap ?

Jerry : When AIG gives CONgress their share of the bailout funds. Then and only then , will this Happy Horseshit stop.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

 

Americans Are Soooo BRAVE

The United States of America - is'nt it interesting , at just how brave Americans are ? Look at how they are verbally blasting AIG. WoooW ! ! ! Now THAT'S WHAT I CALL BRAVE.

So , uh , where were all of these " brave " Americans , when President Bush was grinding this country into the ground ?

No response , eh ? ( the sound of crickets )

The American people have the most powerful document on the planet called , " The CONSTITUTION of The UNITED STATES " . This gives the American people , the power to rule over their government. BUTT , President Bush knew , the American people would not use it on him , while he ravaged this planet's economic system to the tune of TRILLIONS of $$$$$. Bush also knew , the American people would not do anything while he got " US " , into a war for the reason of false truths.

Yep , while " The People " were losing their homes , Bush quietly moved into his new mega million dollar ranch.

After 200 years of having the Constitution , there is no record of the American people using it.


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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

 

Franklin's Cure For Stress

Franklin , Tennessee , BVD News - now that City Administrator Jay Johnson has been out of the way for a while , one of his ideas to helping make Franklin a better place to live , has emerged from darkness. Recently found in JJ's former computer , amid the various Gay porno files , is this advertisement , promoting Franklin 's Mass Transit Sympathetic Systems of Systemic Systematic Proportions and Problems Department or just FRAMTSSSSPPD for short and was made in co-operation with Six Flags Entertainment Corporation , Incorporated in Georgia.

Also known ass pet project No. 5 and named , " Framed 6 Times Over " , amongst his inner circle of city friendly colleagues , Jay Johnson had quietly secreted his forwarded administration thru thousands of manly man hours and using city tax dollars that he personally approved for his administration appropriations committee and to also cover his personal administrative over time for his ever enduring over sight , while putting this ad campaign together for The People of The City of Franklin Committee.

This was just one of JJ's better ideas ( before he got fired ) , he had been working on , to help Franklinites cope with the everyday stressful strain of living here and hopefully , to give Chief jackie something to do with himself , in helping to keep him out of sight and out of everyone's mind , during his retirement years

For those wondering who is that bald headed fart driving the bus , it's Ed Thackston , from the Vanderbilt School of Engineering.


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Wednesday, March 04, 2009

 

NBC 's Jimmy Fallon




Last night on NBC - BVD Bloggtographer - have you seen NBC 's replacement for Conan ? If not , don't worry , you haven't missed any thing important. ( Just a little sleep is all )

The first thing happening , was The Honorable , Mayor Bloomberg of New York , selling the Eiffel Tower to Jimmy , and of course , with the necessary export licenses , to bring it to America.


Followed by the mayor selling Jimmy , the famous , Castle Gray Skull , with of course , the necessary export licenses , to bring it to America.



After the show , Jimmy wined and dined his favorite Congressman , to discuss how America was going to pay for it all.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

 

The New AT&T


Franklin , Tennessee - for those people complaining about Comcastic COMCAST and contemplating on getting AT&T service , think about this fact.

COMCAST will answer the phone. COMCAST does have repair trucks and vans , that will come to your house to service their problems.

The new AT&T has a machine to answer the phone. There is usually no one home to take a service/repair call. Contacting AT&T about service related problems is more frustrating than the stock market. You think I'm kidding ? Try the new AT&T internet DSL service and you'll learn a hard lesson.

If you think I'm still joking , try complaining about a lose of phone service. AT&T will tell you how sorry they are , BUTT , they tried to contact you , BUTT , you wouldn't answer the phone.

Hmmm , how can I communicate about a problem with their phone service , when the DSL service is not working ? When AT&T goes off line , they are not playing around. They take a lack of service very seriously , which explains their lack of attitude , concerning their lack of service capabilities.

I'm taking this time to thank Andrew Blake , who just happens to give a shit about customer service.

Andrew , Thank you very much for going out of your way to help me with AT&T 's lackadasical service ineptitude. I'm aware , it's not your job and you took care of " it " any way.

Thank You

Jerry Horne

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