Saturday, March 31, 2007


Where's My MONEY ? ? ?

Yes , it's everyone's favorite time of the year. Yep , it's that taxing time that taxes so many of us. And like so many people who want back every penny possible we gave to Uncle Sam , I joined the army of folks down at H $ R Block to file for a refund. The truly smart people go to H $ R because they know how to get those pennies for you. H $ R Block is your friend. They want you to know that and so is your $bank$. At H $ R , you get to sign a paper with lots of small print. You are told it's nothing but a formality. After all , we are all just friends here , right ? When you try to read the very small extra fine print , you can't read it anyway. Besides , why go to the effort , after all , friends don't keep things from each other.
Now then , do you want Uncle Sam to mail your refund ? It will take 6 to 8 weeks. Or , would you rather do the electronic method method with direct deposit ? This takes just 2 to 3 weeks. Well , that's a no brainer. I'll want my money ass fast ass possible. I mean , Circuit City is having a sale !
When you see your bank statement , you notice that H $ R Block is good to their word , your refund took 2 1/2 weeks to arrive. Butt wait a minute. There's 30$ dollars missing. Well , remember that form with all the fine print that was just a formality ? That's the hidden formality costs for doing electronic filing with direct deposit. No , you don't get told this. Why ? Because we are all just friends and friends don't keep things from eachother , do they ?

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


Green Thinking

With Al Gore and his inconvenient truth about global warming , we need new ideas to better use what we have until technology changes.
We have been told that the new lightbulbs will save money on our electric bills. In the picture , the new bulb is on the left while old faithfull is on the right. The new bulb does not get hot while turned on. Old faithfull gets soooo hot , ya can't touch it.
Here's the idea. Use the old bulbs during winter. You would be surprised at the heat these will contribute. In the warmer months , use the new bulbs since they operate much cooler.
I have replaced almost half of my lightbulbs and I saw a drop in my last electric bill.


More on Those B & E 's

Franklin , Tennessee - my readers have asked if there's more information about the B & E 's that Franklin Police did not want to investigate. I always try to give them what they want. So , here's the rest of what I know , and no , I did not tell everything for a reason , which I will let the reader determine for themselves.
Soooo , with that said , Here's the BEEF !

If you have garage doors with a handle shown in the picture. Look to see if it has been turned. If so , then someone tried to get in.

If you look at the second picture , you will see that the lock bar is out of the gate plate. To do this , someone pulled very hard to snap the aluminum pin on the shaft that connects to the outside T-handle. This pin is a safety measure in case of fire and the door won't go up for whatever the reason.

The third picture shows what the mechanism should look like without tampering.

To keep the bad guys out , you need to pin the arms in a secure way and don't leave any slop in the arm's travel.

If Franklin Police wanted to know about this , they would have asked. They did not.
If Franklin Police wanted to see this , they would have said so. They did not.

Here's more BEEF !
The badguys drive a purple Plymouth van with black windows ( not tinted ) liscence plate MML 604
They also use a black SUV with black windows ( not tinted ) liscence plate 0561 DL
When Pranklin Police Sargent Smithson had this info in hand , he leaft the scene.
It's interesting that the badguys have returned in a white SUV with black windows ( not tinted ) which appears new. No plate at this time.
Here's the biggy question. Does Sgt. Smithson know these badguys ? Do the math. What do you find ?

Sunday, March 25, 2007


The Inconvenient Truth About Al Gore

I got caught up on the news for this week. I saw the former Vice President Al Gore went back to Capitol Hill , to talk with America's politicians about Global Warming. Not surprising , a Republican showed his ass by interrupting Mr. Gore. His antics got him an interview by the news. My , he was sooo proud of himself. There's always someone who wants to ride his coattails , hoping some of his charisma would rub off onto them.
So , I decided to look at everyone's complaint towards the man and I found the real inconvient truth about Al Gore.

1 ) Al Gore uses 20% more electricity than others......Well of course he does. He has a house that is 20% larger than most people have.
2 ) He has used a lot of jet fuel globe trotting around the world.....Well , of course he has. No one else has gone to the trouble of compiling all this scientific knowledge , which he has brought forward. Mr. Gore used his own money , he did not beg for research grants.
3 ) Al Gore has done nothing to reduce his own impact on global warming.....Well , of course he has'nt. Mr. Gore is living with the technology that everyone of us has to use. Our technology is the cause of this planet's demise.
Note : Al Gore said he is waiting for the codes to change so he can legally place solar collectors on his house. Mr. Gore has to wait for city hall to get off it's complacient ass before he can do anything. In the meantime , he has told everyone , he has replaced his light bulbs with the new planet friendly light bulbs that save energy. AND , all the profits from his book are going to the fight on Global Warming.
Now , with this inconvient truth brought to light , how many people , who have run Al Gore into the ground , can say they have done something to reduce Global Warming ?
Speaking for myself , I'm replacing the light bulbs in a timely way , that my budget will allow. I also use the recycle bins. Butt , I see Franklin does'nt empty them very often. I have also planted trees where I can.
So , before you run Al Gore into the ground , what have YOU done to reduce Green House Gases ?

Saturday, March 24, 2007


About Those B & E's

Franklin , Tennessee - my readers know that I reported that Franklin Police refused to investigate a couple of residential B & E's. Well , after doing some asking around sorta stuff , I found out it really is true.
BVD : Hey , Jerry ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, man ,,,,what gives ? What's with you ?
Jerry : What do you mean ?
BVD : Jerry , ever since I've known you , I can't recollect you ever telling a lie. Your readers seeing this will say , " You've been eating raw cow pies again. "
Jerry : Ha Ha Ha , raw cow pies. I'm gonna steal that one
BVD : Why are you now starting to pass along a lie ? I mean , you know something that I don't about life , you have never told a lie until now. I mean , there's not enough money on this planet to buy you with , granted you are no angel , but this ? Jerry looks at him for a few moments.
BVD : No ! Oh Nooo ! You're serious , I mean , you are really serious.
Jerry : I want to thank officer Snottknock , Sgt. Smithson , Sgt. Warner and Dick. Dixon for their help.
BVD : Damn ! You're being honest as usual. Jerry , please , tell me why you refuse to tell a lie. What is it you know?
Jerry : In time , perhaps you will find out.


TDOT Getz off it's Az

Today's Tennessean - TDOT has finally decided to inspect every road sign it has put into place along our highway system. It took the fatal bus crash in Atlanta to give them an idea of what they should be doing next.
Jobs within TDOT are very political. Back in the 90's , every TDOT project put 30% of the money into political pockets. I don't know what the percent is now.

Friday, March 23, 2007


Mitchel n D'kline

Franklin , Tennessee , BVD got to interview Williamson county news reporter Mr. D'kline.

BVD : Wow , this is such an honor. I don't get to interview a news reporter very often.
D'kline : Yeah , well , what can I do ya for ?
BVD : Why do you appear to be in a slump ?
D'kline : Aww , the Franklin Police people won't let me cover their stories any more.
BVD : You're kidding. I thought your head was so far up their behind , they would never be able to get you out.
D'kline : Oh yea ? Well , they did it. Do ya see a brown circle around my neck ?
BVD : Not any more and I did see the article about Franklin Police getting a dog owner $ 200 dollars for a dog bite. That was'nt your work ?
D'kline : Nope. Ever since I wrote that piece on Tim Taylor getting fired , the police don't want me around.
BVD : Did you tell the truth ? Was your information correct ?
D'kline : Yes it was , butt , you know how Franklin Police are.
BVD : No , please continue.
D'kline : Franklin Police can't handle the truth. Especially when it involves them.
BVD : So , where do you go from here ?
D'kline : I want back in there sooo bad.
BVD : Back where ?
D'kline : Aw , you know where. I want back in so bad. It's so warm and safe in there.

Monday, March 19, 2007


JJ's BIG Day

A short story in fiction.

Jay Johnson , Franklin's Administrator , was talking to the Mayor about the added costs of growth in Franklin
Mayor : Buried cables ? Do you have any idea how much more this growth will cost ? Where do you think that money will come from ?
JJ : The people of course. Anyone wanting to live here , wants to because they have money to show off. Therefore , let them pay for what ever I deem necessary.
Mayor : One of these days , you know you will die and you will answer for your deeds.
JJ : Since when were you nervous about dieing ?
Mayor : I'm not. It was something the preacher said.
JJ : Well , I've got dieing covered. It's everyone for themselves in that department. Heh heh ( cough )
Mayor : JJ , you OK ? JJ ?
JJ : Cough , cough. The mayor loosens JJ's tie and shirt ass he slumps down into his chair.

JJ finds himselve walking towards a beautiful sight. Approaching a large open gate area , several people walk towards him.
A man speaks. " Are you Mr. Jay Johnson of Franklin ?
JJ : Why yes , yes I am , he smiled.
Man : Where do you think you are going ?
JJ : In there of course , he replied while staring at the sight before him.
Man : You can't go in there.
JJ : What do you mean ? Did'nt you get my package ?
Man : You mean this one ? He showed JJ a unopened package.
JJ : Yes , that's the one. Open it. It's alright. Go ahead , open it up.
Man : no thank you. We might have opened it if we thought it was'nt a BB.
JJ : A BB ? What's that ?
Man : A bomb or a bribe.
JJ : Are you kidding ? he said laughing ? That's one million dollars.
Woman : We don't have a use for money around here Mr. Johnson. She takes the package and throws it into a large pit that was smoking with a orange glow.
JJ : Is'nt this Heaven ? he said , not believing what she just did.
Woman : No , Heaven is over there. Pointing. This is the Pearly Gates. You cannot pass through here , however , down there , money is in constant demand and is constanly used.
JJ : What do you mean ?
Man : Hell gets people like you all the time. The Devil uses money to help keep his fires going.

Sunday, March 18, 2007


Hide and Seek

They'll never find me in here.


Money for Combat Wounded Found

Jerry - the American people have become outraged over the way their government treats the Iraqi war wounded at Walter Reed. The biggest problem is money. Here , we see the United States NAVY playing NASCAR. This little game requires lots of $$$$$. The NAVY feels their budget is more appropriately spent on recruitment than on combat wounded. Besides , the Iraq war is on land , not the sea. Therefore , the NAVY does'nt believe they have any wounded.
The United States ARMY does'nt want to compete with the NAVY for cannon fodder , so they put their budget on drag racing. All this money could go to the needs of the wounded. Today , Walter Reed has become a place to stick 'em , and forget 'em.
" Out of sight , out of mind "
Besides , it is much more easier to fire a general , than it is to treat the wounded.

Friday, March 16, 2007


It's SPRING ! ! !

Franklin , Tennessee - despite the increased burden of new crap and new taxes being placed on the good people of Franklin , spring could not be stopped. I'm surprised Jay Johnson did not burden the trees a with flower tax
BVD : Hey man , don't be giving out ideas.


Metro's Police Chief

Nashville , Tennessee , Jerry watched the 6 oclock news on channel 4 and the word on the street is that Metro Nashville's police chief Serpas got a 2 to 1 vote of doing a good job.
BVD : Hey Jerry , if he's doing such a good job , do ya think he took out the Den of Thieves ?
Jerry : This is a police department. What do you think ?


Say What ?

Jerry - The Army Corps of Engineers was on the carpet to answer for problems with the 40 pumps installed at New Orleans. They have to be removed for rework due to defective materials and workmanship. This guy says he knew all about the problems.
Stock said , " We chose on going with a calculated risk to use defective materials and workmanship. I do not offer an apology for putting New Orleans in danger again with another hurricane. "
The current work is behind schedule to meet the next hurricane season.
BVD : Hey Jerry , I thought the Army Corps answered to the public.
Jerry : Were'nt you listening ? They did answer by saying they will not apologize.
BVD : Why are they being so obtuse ?
Jerry : All those po folks are squatting on prime real estate. What better way to get rid of them than to flood them out ? Have'nt you read the bible ?


Da Party Is OVER

Jerry - the news was talking about the problems in universities concerning student drinking and the parties that have given them special notoriety. Some have stated they are cracking down and have made it quit clear , that if a student is coming to their university to party , they don't want you.
Back in the 90's , Vanderbilt University put into place , what the students dubbed " Vanderbilt Dry" It was so successful , that today , Vanderbilt continues to be the best and most expensive party in the SEC.

Thursday, March 15, 2007


Help for Men

BVD News - The word is out that Columbia State will offer special help classes for men who don't know how. BVD got a preview schedule due out for the summer. The class format is still being worked on.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Today's Paper


Vanderbilt Scene at 100 Oaks

Vanderbilt University was seen at One Hundred Oaks this week looking over real estate possibilities. A Vanderbilt spokes person stated , " We are looking for new oppotunities to serve our students. This could be the place we open a new food service to assist in giving them a choice. "
When asked about the distance the students would have to travel off campus , the reply was , " We are getting Franklin's old trolley cars and we will have them shuttle back and forth. "


Now Ya Know

NBC - On the tv show Deal or no Deal , this moron of a general kept saying he negotiated millions in military contracts. You would think , after lining all those pockets with cost over runs , and spending 40 years in the service , he would have climbed higher than a one star. He traded one million dollars to receive 93 thousand. Now that's what I call a negotiator.


Cellphone Useage OK

Vanderbilt Medical Center - CNN blew the whistle after facilities like Vanderbilt had spent millions of tax dollars researching how cell phones affected hospital equipment. It turns out that they do not. This was something Vanderbilt knew before doing the wastefull research. If a cellphone cannot be used in the hospital , then the caller gets to use Vanderbilt's. Those phones do not have a long distance calling plan.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


The General Speaks Out

BVD Bloggtographer - General Pace has out spoken himself on the Gay issue and his military saying it's immoral and just like adultry.
BVD : So general , you are still for the don't ask , don't tell ?
General Pace : Why yes , of course I am. Anyone in this country who wants to serve , should be given that chance. Including Gays.
BVD : So , in other words , your military is having problems finding fresh meat for the Iraqi meat grinder ?
General Pace : Well , yes

Friday, March 09, 2007


Franklin Gets Water Expansion

Franklin , Tennessee , BVD Bloggtographer - The City of Franklin has announced the water treatment plant will expand.
BVD : Jay Johnson , tell my readers about the water treatment plant being expanded.
Jay : Well , heh , heh , heh , the expansion will involve about 100 acres of battlefield land to become part of the particular sediment pond , and then there will be about one million feet of habibtable living space for myself and select city members. This will also become part of a habitat for wildlife when those city members bring in the women.
BVD : How and who will pay for this expansion ?
Jay : The fine folks living here in Franklin of course.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


Franklin Gets Help

Franklin , Tennessee - BVD Bloggtographer , Jay Johnson has announced that the City of Franklin's Police Department has added a new dimension in law enforcement.
BVD : Jay , what's going on , like uh , what's the deal here ?
Jay : Well BVD , ya know Franklin has to grow , and to make the growth work , I need co operation with everyone with my decision making process. During open town meetings , some citizens of Franklin have voiced their opinion which I really don't care for. I am Franklin and that's THAT !
BVD : What powers will these police officers have ?
Jay : They will be official police officers with real badges and real guns. They will have the power and authority to issue citations. The first offense automatically puts them on my shit list. The second offense and I will raise their taxes.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007


Headley Up For Award

BVD Bloggtographer - it's been disclosed that Sheriff Headley of the Williamson County Sheriff's Department was'nt really arrested afterall.
BVD : Sheriff Headley , tell us what's going on.
Sheriff Headley : Heh Heh Heh , well , Ha Ha Ha , I was involved in a sting operation while smoking joints shared by Metro Police and the TBI folks.
BVD : WOW , can you tell my readers more ?
Headley : They successfully arrested 5 people for drug laundering , illegal drug possesion , illegal drug use and added contributing to the deliquencey of minors.
BVD : What's this award you are to get ?
Headley : It's the Top Drug Pin for possessing drugs within Tennessee's Sheriff Association.
BVD : Wow , that's some pin. So , you were'nt really arrested ?
Headley : Oh no , no , butt , it sure was real enough , I thought I really had been arrested. Man oh man , was I ever sweating bulletts. No , I was just doing what I enjoy doing most and that's helping to fight crime.
BVD : Then why did you go to rehab ?
Headley : I did'nt go to rehab. I went to a safe place in case their friends wanted to get me. They would'nt be able to find me.
BVD : What are you planning next in your career of Law Enforcement ?
Headley : Well , the Tennessee Sheriff's Association has selected me to help solicit funds for their association. My picture will be on billboards , milk cartons , ice cream labels , a walk across Tennessee , and various TV spots and interviews.


The Secret Book

There's a new book out titled " The Secret ". It's just New Age positvie thinking in a rehashed manner. Yes , it does work , butt , be careful what you wish for , you just might get it.

Monday, March 05, 2007



OK , where's the gold ?


Tonight's Transport Meeting

Franklin , Tennessee , BVD Bloggtographer - BVD got to have a word with Jay Johnson , owner/proprietor of the City of Franklin about tonight's Transportation Meeting for the public.
BVD : What's with the double decker ?
JJ : Well , the folks have complained about the trolley system loosing money. They have over looked the town's pleasing appeal to new comers and potential new comers that the trolley represents , soooo , I'm bringing in to town a touch of England and I'm removing the trolleys.
BVD : What's with the police car ? Why so many antennaes ?
JJ : The police car fleet is aging , so I'm replacing it with new cars. The antennaes are for the officers to get MTV , satellite cable , SERIOUS broadcasts , shortwave , and of course , talk to dispatch.
BVD : WHY all the amenities ?
JJ : The police officers have done a splendid job of writing tickets and I want to reward them.
BVD : You don't get tickets do you ?
JJ : I'm the boss around here. No police officer would dream of giving me a ticket for anything.
BVD : What's with the fire ladder truck ?
JJ : The fire department is a rather large political machine. I want to give them a larger ladder to climb up. And , if you look , this one can go obove the double decker bus.
BVD : How will you afford all of this ?
JJ : I'll just put it all into the Public Transpotation System budget. No problem.

Sunday, March 04, 2007


Baby We Gotta Go



Franklin , Tennessee - Jerry went to Home Depot to drool over the tool section. While there , he talked with several folks he knew.
Did you know the price for salvaged copper is now 3 dollars a pound ?
At the Depot , " customers " have brazenly walked out with whole rolls. They even put the large stuff into shopping carts and walked out the door. The favorite exit door is going through the Garden section where the fence has been cut. SSHHHHHHHHHHH.........................don't tell that to anyone , it's a secret.
Home Depot has had holes cut in their fence several times in the past.
Copper is the metal of choice these days for salvagers. They are now going into churches and new construction areas to remove the copper from water lines , A/C units , and power lines.
Where severe storms have hit , they sworm in to get all they can before law enforcement can get back on it's feet.
Aluminum is the second favorite.
When it comes to dealing with thieves , Franklin Police Shift Supervisor Sgt. Smithson is on record for saying , " Even my own wife steals from me when I'm not looking."

Speaking of thieves , there's a guy going around houses saying he does outdoor work. He has a wirey build , thin reddish hair , pock marked face with thin red hair beard and wears a fancy Home Depot Jacket. The word is he checks houses for possible B & E later on.


Fence Light

Since America has forgotten how to make things , we have China to make things for us. Take for example this solar powered night light for use on the edge of decks. When the sun is out , the light is on. When the sun goes to bed at night , the light turns off. This is made in China for HAMPTON BAY. This company is well known for lighting and ceiling fans. You can get yours now at Home Depot for 7 dollars.

Saturday, March 03, 2007


Such Nonsense

It's not surprising how many people have jumped on the anti Gore wagon concerning his energy consumption at his home. Well , it is a rather large one and I'd take a guess that those outspoken people are just jealous of what he has.
Al Gore did what so many did'nt do. He took the available information from different sourses and put it all together to give us the ugly truth that us humans are responsible for the climate changes taking place on our planet.
Our earth is not going through some normal shift in climate patterns. Humans are doing it. AND that's the unconvient truth. While other animals species are dying out to give us more room to breathe , we continue to destroy our planet ass we exploit it for more oil.
We have to use new technology if humans are to continue to dominate this planet. We cannot go somewhere else. Oil companies could help bring in new ways to live , butt , they are afraid they will loose their monopoly on the world.
People like to talk about it from both sides of the fence , butt , people are afraid to stand up and do what's right for the world. Our future generations will remember us for our pig headedness if they survive.


Get Over It

Williamson County's Sheriff Headly has returned to work amid calls for his removal for his being arrested for illegal drug charges. Get a life people and leave the man alone and let the system of justice take it's course.
Has anyone asked why Headley has a drug problem ? Remember , this is Tennessee. This is a state where a doctor can give you addictive drugs and has no responsibility for any rehab you may need.
Williamson County does have a justice system. Although it is obtusely corrupt , it is what we have. Let the man do his job and let's see what the system does.

Friday, March 02, 2007


Oh Plplplease

Hey Macain , what's the difference between sacraficed and wasted ? They are still dead for no good reason. My how quickly we forgot Viet Nam.


It's Past Time

How many wars does it take to wake up this country to the fact , American fighting men and women wounded in battle do not get the medical attention they need ? Let's do a count

1 - Korea was not a war , it was a police action , Butt , it was still a war
2 - Viet Nam was never declared a war , Butt , it was still a war
3 - The Iraq war , well , it's now a Civil War
4 - And oh yeah , how many remember the thousands of wounded from President Daddy Bush's Gulf War ?

The truth is , even though some generals are being fired , politics is going after the wrong people. Weightman had to work within a budget. He did'nt get a penny more. President Bush spends 100 BILLION DOLLARS a month on military research. So , why can't we fire Bush ? Let's start with Gates. He's the one who has no tolerance for such treatment for our wounded. He knows how much money goes into Bush's favorite political pockets.
Kiley knows the living standards for low level personnel. That's why he blew off concerns in building 18. It's that way all across this country's VA system.

When I served in the military , I had to sign a paper stating that I agreed to live in sub standard housing while living on the base. I noticed the news missed that one.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?