Friday, June 30, 2006


Brit 's New Dew

Yep , it's really her.

Of course , now she has naked pics in a magazine. I wonder , Where is Matt Lauer ? during the photo shoot.

She appears to be on track with her career according to Madonna.

Thursday, June 29, 2006


Your Personal Information

I troll around Ebay from time to time to see how the auctions are doing. It's one way to check on money spending in this country. Now that gas prices have settled , Ebay prices are going up. I guess people have gotten over the sticker shock at the gas pump.
But think about this. Most people have no clue why our government collects all that data about us. Well , think about this some more. The oil companies studied us , and they knew how high to raise gas prices. They knew how much people would tollerate. Has anyone noticed Congress doing anything about the oil companies gouging us ? I have'nt. Does anyone remember they said they would ? Now that high gas prices have become old news , people have gotten back to buisness and the oil companies have been forgotten. The over paid oil CEOs are laughing at us. Well it does make sense. Afterall , our government gouges us all the time and we keep re electing them.
NOW , do you see why the government collects all that information about us ? I wonder who they will share the money transactions data with , that's been highlighted in the news lately ?


Don't You Wish

Jay Leno made cracks about his boss and President Bush without fear of loosing his job. Don't you wish you had that kind of juice ? Jay called his boss an idiot on the highest rated night time show on tv.
Hm , " an idiot " , do you know anyone fitting to that name ?

Wednesday, June 28, 2006


Second Hand Smoke

Sign seen in a Nashville store. That report about second hand smoke is getting serious.


How Much Are You Giving

ver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math's that might prove helpful. What makes life 100%? If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then: H A R D W O R K 8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98% K N O W L E D G E 11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96% But, A T T I T U D E 1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100% And, B U L L S H I T 2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103% So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, and bullS&%$ will put you over the top. But, look how far ass kissing will take you. A S S K I S S I N G 1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%


Secret Sale

Jerry : What's for sale
BVD : Shh , it's a secret
Jerry : When's the sale
BVD : Shh , it's a secret


Mornin WSMV

WSMV 's Terri sings for food. " Do you really want to hurt me judge. "

The world's ugliest dog contest winner


Synergy in Motion

See anything unusual in this picture ? Disney paid for this ad to promote the tv station. Since it was Disney's dime , they threw in a plug for the CARS movie.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006



Franklin Tennessee - BVD Bloggtographer , with the help of Franklin Police , Jay Johnson unveiled the city 's new highway project code named GOODLUCK. Johnson explained in simple words , that he alone had redesigned the existing road signs , so they would be compatible with current road sign conditions for the City of Franklin. Johnson further added , this was just one of many new and approved improvements and innovations , that the citizens of The City of Franklin would soon be enjoying along Franklin 's roads , to help them get around town.
Later , Jay Johnson remarked off the record , this will also reduce our sign density


The Pope visits Alaska

The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains of Alaska for some sight-seeing.
He was cruising along the campground in the Pope mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" hat, and a "To Hell with Bush" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10 foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic Environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"
"It was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with heaven and has access to all wisdom." "Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and snatch another one?"

Monday, June 26, 2006


The Amnesty Question

I've got a question. There's talk about giving amnesty and releasing prisoners in Iraq. The amnesty trip wire thing is , some of those to be released , may have been involved in the killing of Americans.
OK , I'm all for it , regardless of who killed who. Provided , all of the American troops on trial , and/or , have been sentenced for the unlawful killing/torture of Iraqi people , get amnesty too. With that said , can there now be peace ?


NSA saves IRS

Washington - BVD News bloggtographer , ( watered down by CNN ) , the nation's Department of the Internal Revenue Service was forced to shut down today , due to unexpected flooding in the region. Water had breached their records being kept in the basement areas. It all started with a leaky roof , the water then made it's way down to the lower levels , eventually landing in the " Hall of Records. " With nothing to go on , the IRS decided to shut down and let their workers stay home. President Bush , upon hearing of the disaster , made an immediate executive order for the NSA to share it's backup files of IRS records with the IRS. The IRS is expected to make a full recovery , and be back and open for buisness by Wednesday


The Last Act

Today , at Nashville Is Talking , another post has gone up concerning animals in shelters being killed for a lack of love. I'll repost my post on the subject. For those looking for a pure breed , Williamson County Animal Shelter may have one just for you. They are saying , people have gotten fashion pets , only to discover they have needs. Yep , they saw way too many pictures of Paris. Anyway , those people have used the animal shelter to dump their unwanted mess.

Franklin Tennessee , the Williamson County animal shelter - The last act of defiance before being put down. Why are animal shelters called shelters , when animals are sent there to die ?

This was " Freckles " last remark , before being put down. The problem is simple , with 6 cats around here , there is'nt room for a seventh.

There are 6 cats living in my animal shelter ( aka the cathouse down the street ) All 6 were adopted from unfortunate circumstances.

Putter is probably my favorite , he steals my pillow , steals my covers , steals my side of the bed ( only when I'm ready for bed ) and steals my chair ( only when I'm wanting to sit ) Yes , I keep a stock of his favorite snacks on hand ( for when HE is ready to snack ) His other buddies in crime are Dutchess , Salem , Munchkin , Rags , and Raz.


Global Warming

The David Letterman Show , BVD , Al Gore brought a slide show for his interveiw with Letterman , to help explain eath's Global Warming.
Al Gore said , " Now you see it. Now you don't "


Gore Passes Gas

The David Letterman Show , BVD News , while Al Gore interveiwed with David Letterman over Global Warming , he passed some hot gas , which in turn , passed out of control. There was nothing anyone could do , ass they watched him pass away.

Sunday, June 25, 2006



Iraq - CNN at Saddam 's trial. Saddam has said that he will save President Bush from Iraq. " It's the very least I can do for the man who saved me from the American invading forces. " , Saddam continued to say , " Yes , it's only a matter of time , until Bush makes me president of Iraq. He knows I am the only man , who can restore order in my country."

BVD - Pictured is Saddam 's demonstration to the Iraqi people that he can handle a gun just ass good ass Dick Cheney.



New York City , NBC Studios - BVD News , Conan was having a LIVE AID benefit segment on his show , to benefit his show. NBC's falling ratings has caused some " Conan Cold Cuts " to be made within NBC , which is pinching pennies ass it is to push forward with their next season shows.
Bruce Springstein was bringing in the $$$$$$$ by telling everyone to lay Conan's money down , until Conan was caught lip syncing

Saturday, June 24, 2006


Life with Nurses

I do not know the origins of this paper.

Ah, such mysterious, wondrous creatures are nurses. What treasures lurk
beneath those crisp, white uniforms, and what young man doesn't have
fantasies of discovering those secrets for himself.? SCREEEEEECH. Reality

I've been married to a nurse for going on a quarter of a century, and let me
tell you, nurses are not what you expect (and I don't even care what you
expect, because you are wrong)! Let's begin by tearing down some of the more
famous assumptions about nurses right off the top:

The Nurse as Sex Kitten:

Anyone who lived through the early seventies or has made it a point to rent
such famous videos as "Night Duty Nurses" or "Student Nurses" or "Night
Duty Student Nurses" or any one of several dozen nurse-centric skin flicks
will be immediately struck by the fact that all nurses have heaving bosoms,
just millimeters away from popping out of skin tight white uniforms. You
will also learn that nurses always wear white garters and hose and high
heels. (This, of course, is a handy dress code because movie nurses spend *a
lot* of time hopping in and out of patient's beds.)

The reality is that most nurses wear scrubs - shapeless, draping hunks of
cotton that could cause you to breeze past Pamela Anderson without a second
look. Shoes are white, clunky, nursing shoes or tennies with blobs of things
on them better left unexplored. Socks replace white hose and garters, and
when is the last time anyone saw a nursing cap? Graduation, perhaps?

Now as far as a nurse hopping into your bed to relieve your "problem"... Get
a life, Bub! If you aren't sick they don't have time to mess with you, and
if you are sick, you probably look, feel and smell sick, not to mention,
they've seen "better." I don't care how good looking you are, they have
seen better and it was probably a doctor making lots of money or at least
someone who didn't smell bad.

The Nurse as an Angel:

If you want to hear the latest gross jokes, just find a nurse. Some
uninformed males seem to think of nurses as angelic creatures: demure and
loving, a cross between a nun and their Mom. Well, hate to bust your bubble,
guy, but as a group, nurses are some of the rawest folks you'll ever run into.
I don't care how sweet and demure they may look on the outside, inside is
someone who has seen things that would gag a maggot, break your heart or
drive a normal person nuts, so most nurses develop a very wicked sense of humor
squarely lodged in the black-to-sick side of the scale.

As I said above, nurses have almost always seen "better" and that includes
"personal" anatomy. Any male foolish enough to think that he ranks among the
Gods when it comes to endowment will be quickly dismayed to learn that his
sweet, little dear has seen MUCH better! Just bring the subject up and you will most likely hear about the head injury case she saw in nursing school while holding up her arm and grabbing her elbow with her hand to put things into scale. If you think your "little Willie" was king, well, you're wrong! In fact, I've never met a nurse that didn't have a BIG WILLIE story, so be forewarned.

Also, in case you are looking for sympathy for the little boo-boo you had
in the shop, forget it!

Let's say as a typical male klutz, you manage to saw your finger off. You go
running to your nurse wife or girlfriend, who is on the phone with a nurse
friend of hers. As she continues to talk to her friend, she slaps a towel
on your finger after giving the stub a good eyeballing, takes out a baggie
to put the severed digit in, tells you to get some ice while she is
explaining to her friend that her dummy SO just sawed his finger off. As
you stand there for 15 minutes she calmly finishes her conversation as
though nothing is going on until finally she says, "Well I guess I better
get Fred to the hospital." She hangs up the phone, looks at you, sighs and
says, "let's go."

You have just learned an important lesson. On the nurse scale of
emergencies, yours is about a minus 9! As my wife has told me, "when you
are on a ventilator, with six drips running and q 10 minute vitals, then you're
sick. Anything less than that isn't worth getting excited over!"

The Nurses Mutual Benefit Network:

As a male either dating or married to a nurse, you should realize one
important thing. There are nurses everywhere. That, in itself, is no big
deal. The fact is, every nurse knows other nurses who know more
nurses, so that by the time you are finished, a nurse on the Island nation
of Chuuk who observes you doing something you shouldn't has the immediate
capability of getting word to your wife or girlfriend. This system is way
more reliable and efficient than the Internet and has existed for a much
longer time. Take it for granted that your nurse SO will know about anything
you have done, good or bad, before you get home!

Your Social Life with Nurses:

Nurses hang out with other nurses and soon you may find that all your
friends are married to nurses. The reason this happens is because in
situations where nurses mingle with non-medical folks things can get ugly.
For example, you are out to dinner with your nurse SO another nurse couple
and two civilian couples. The nurses sit and chat, discussing fun things
like bleeding bowels, open sores, how much fat was sucked out of some
patient, projectile vomiting, traumatic amputations, etc., all over a nice pasta
dinner. The nurses carry on talking as the civilian couples turn funny
colors, make faces and suppress their gag reflexes and this is if the nurses
don't have any really gross things to share like the homeless guy with
maggots in his bleeding sores!

After several dinners and gatherings like this, you will soon find your
circle of friends has shrunk significantly. The key to avoiding this is to
do the following: Never go out in mixed groups with more than one nurse. A
lone nurse is OK. The trouble starts when you have more than one, and when
that happens, keep the regular folks away.

Another good rule is if you are going to be around a group of nurses at a social
gathering, be sure to sit with the non-nurses. You might as well, because
the nurses will be so busy talking among themselves about work that you and
any other non-nurse will be totally ignored.

Also get used to the idea that some friends and neighbors will take
advantage of the fact that your SO is a nurse by calling at all hours of the day
and night for advice. This may include male friends "dropping trou" to show your
sweetie his rash. The best advice I can give is to just deal with it and hope
it isn't contagious.

The Health Ramifications of being with a Nurse:

Most nurses have been described as having the constitution of horses,
which isn't true because I've been around horses and they get sick more often.
The reason for this is pretty simple. After about 3-5 years on the job,
nurses have been exposed to so many bugs that they either end up
dead or full of every antibody known to mankind. If you want the ultimate
booster shot, just get a blood transfusion from a nurse who's worked in a
hospital for 20 years!

That said, though, you don't have all these antibodies so when she comes
home with the sniffles, a week later you're flat on your back with the worse
case of the flu of your life! Oh, and if you are the least bit squeamish,
don't even think about the bugs she brings home on her clothes. It will
mess with your mind as she talks about her Resistant TB patient!


Ah such mysterious, wondrous creatures are nurses. You know, they really
are and I thank God every day for nurses!

Can I get an Amen?


Air Force One encounters UFOs

BVD News Bloggtographer , this picture was taken during President Bush's secret trip to Iraq. BVD took this picture , when the UFOs appeared off the left wing of Air Force One , causing the President's hair to stand on end. The Secret Service surrounded President Bush ass he burrowed his head under the seat cushion Barbara was sitting in , and cried for Dick Cheney to make them go away.


President Bush Overseas Trip

Unknown country - BVD International News Bloggtographer , on the road and in the air with America 's president.
While walking around outside of Air Force One , President Bush uses Barbara for a protective shield. By tapping her shoulders , he gives her commands to walk left and right.

Friday, June 23, 2006



Iraq - BVD International bloggtographer , with the death of Zarqawi , the Pentagon is seeing more scenes similar to this one , from their unmanned Predator flights.


60th Anniversary

World wide - BVD bloggtographer , Did you know this is the 60th Anniversary for the bikini ? It's ass good ass a reason to party ass any , that I can think of.

This picture feature is the new skin tone designer dental floss for this year.


VUBPD shows off new weapon

Vanderbilt University - BVD News Bloggtographer reporting , Vanderbilt University Blogging Police Department showed off their newest blogging weapon , to be used in the war of the blogs. Lt. Kloggedblogg , Commander of VUBPD , showed off this latest addition in their blogging arsenal. He explained , " It's a blogger's weight paint blog , with full bloggomatic capabilities , that can clog a blog at a 100 blogs a minute. Once every VUBPD officer has blogged one , we have serious blogging doubts that anyone will blog another clogging blogging food fight blog on the Vanderbilt campus again. "
BVD : Wow , that's a lot of serious blog power. Why are you so anxious to get these blogging weapons now ?
Kloggedblogg : The PAVE students will be arriving this weekend , we feel the need for speed to clog their blog before things get out of hand.

As our blogger feeders know , several blogs ago , VUBPD was out blogged by a blogging blogger's conference blog , that errupted into a horrific food fight blog in Vanderbilt's RAND cafeteria blogger room.



Today I had the wonderful experience of waiting one hour and forty five minutes to see a doctor at SPECTRUM only to be told by Doug ( a practitioner ) that they will not accept me for a patient. Why ? Because I have pain problems. this a oxy moron ?
If you need pain management , there are better places elsewhere and YES , I found a really good doctor , right here in Franklin.

Let's see : SPECTRUM is in the business of helping people in physical pain. Is that like :

Blake taking your wife to dinner
Janet Jackson being in charge of wardrobe
Michael Jackson being in the business of child care
Franklin Police being in charge of law enforcement
Chairman Thackston running the Vanderbilt engineering school
Doug being in charge of human rights in China
David Letterman running NBC
Mr. Bush being in charge of port security
Steak N Shake being in charge of air traffic control
McDonalds being in charge of healthy food

I'll give Doug credit for being rude , which seems to be his practice for everyday living. There's no reason to be rude to anyone , for any reason , it's totally unprofessional. SPECTRUM forgets , there are other places better than them The only place worse on the list is The Pain Management Group in Antioch.

For those of you wandering around wondering , SPECTRUM is located at West Main and Battle in Franklin. They have been aimlessly wandering around to stay ahead of the game. phone 794-5009


Vanderbilt's New Signs

Vanderbilt University - BVD , Vanderbilt's Traffic and Parking has been busy switching the road signs over to the international system to accommodate this years PAVE class. These people come from various countries all over the world and do not understand english. PAVE stands for Premature Academia for Vanderbilt Engineering.
PAVE is also referred to ass Vanderbilt's summer school for parents needing a break from their kids.
This picture was taken on the lower side of frat row.



HollyWood - BVD News bloggtographer , everyone is up in arms about the rumors the new SUPERMAN is gay. Well , you know how people talk , just because the director is gay , everyone says that SUPERMAN is too. Afterall , he is coming out of the closet........again.
BVD : Why is there a picture of Brad and Angie behind you ?
US Magazine : Have'nt you heard ? Brad and Angie were saddened by learning SUPERMAN is an orphan. So , they are adopting him.



Today is -
Take your cat to work day today


A Dean is Made

Vanderbilt University - BVD , people have aimlessly walked about , asking themselves namelessly , how did John Viellette ( that's pronounced spaghetti ) become PAVE 's President and also the Dean of Vanderbilt's Engineering School without having any preparatory learning or previous job experience.

When the ship was sinking , Galloway asked John to go back for his laptop , which he did.


Conan Competes for PAVE Students

Vanderbilt University - BVD News , NBC 's Conan has established a Vanderbilt summer camp similar to Vanderbilt's PAVE program named CAMP CONAN
BVD : Are you sure you are'nt a little late to promote your camp
Conan : Of course not. Why would you ask such a question
BVD : PAVE starts this weekend
Conan : They'll jump the fence once they see all the fun I'm having over here , all by myself

Pictured is Conan receiving instruction for his weekend outdoor activity of wall climbing inside the Vanderbilt REC Center.


PAVE Student Talks About PAVE

Vanderbilt University - School of Engineering , BVD News got to spend a few moments with this years PAVE students.
BVD : Can you give one reason why you prefer the PAVE program over other similar summer programs
PAVE student : They have a weekend outreach program that let's us go to a nearby farm to stack cows. No other summer program has this outdoor activity


The HUG Seen Round the World

BVD News , President Bush hugged merchant marine graduate Gabriel for his successful graduation. Bush later remarked ," Gabriel had 4,500 demerits and it took him 6 1/2 years to complete a 4 year degree. Anyone like him , who can break the law and get away with it is republican material. You bet I hugged him. "


America Learns the Truth

CNN - BVD News , last night CNN accidentally gave away President Bush 's secret to his election success over Al Gore.

In the State of Florida to legally vote ( including illegals ) all you need is a non photo Neighborhood Ass. Card.


NASA not Sure About to Launch

NASA , Florida - BVD , NASA still is'nt sure about next months shuttle launch. The shuttle pilot's remarked about having poor visibility outside the windows.
BVD asked " Have you thought about removing the window covers ?"
NASA : Well no , after all , it is dark outside in space you know.

Thursday, June 22, 2006


Missile Testing

Today on CNN. While America tells North Korea , they can not test a missile , America gets ready to test a missile.


Skateboarders do it Better

Franklin Tennessee , skateboarders are proving they know more about quality construction than Franklin's government by over seeing the building of the " Kidney ". This is a fancy U-shaped surface used for skateboarding. Young people like Elisha Chandler, 12 , of Thompson Station shows how.
Story in the Review Appeal June 21-06


Oprah vs. Hip Hop

Hip Hop artists are bent because Oprah has refused to use Hip Hop in her activities , saying she discriminates and she is prejudiced against Hip Hop. Ice Cube says he would gladly come to her show to discuss this issue.
Well Ice Cube , go get your own show. I remember in high school , black women complaining about black men not giving them respect. After all these years , black women still don't get respect from black men. Who does Hip Hop think they are to shove their music down on Oprah.
Oprah has said some of their music offends her sensibilities , and not surprisingly , Hip Hop does'nt care. They just make demands on Oprah to do ass they say.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006


Got Crack ?

Nashville Tennessee , WSMV Channel 4 has been talking about houses developing cracks in the foundations. People claim this is due to shock waves coming from blasting in construction sites.
Here's a kicker. About 10 + years ago , this same phenomenon occurred to various houses. Despite claims the damage was due to construction blasting , nothing could be proven. Meanwhile , Vanderbilt professors knew the truth , butt , were paid to keep their mouth shut. Ya see , there's faults in the limestone bedrock , the professors know where those faults run. Back then , they had researched the Nashville area bedrock. And no , I'm not kidding.


Franklin Goes Retro

Franklin Tennessee , BVD News - To down play Franklin's growth impact on the envirnment , Jay Johnson hired an ad agency to help promote Franklin. Mr. Johnson has decided to use retro advertisements for new subdivisions.


Under the Maple Tree

Franklin Tennessee - BVD News , there's a 200 year old tree in Franklin , standing in the way of progressive taxation in a village called Montgomery Place.
BVD : So what happens now ?
Nameless Franklin Alderman : If we lived in an ideal world , people would not want to live in Franklin. This tree is blocking progress and future tax dollars.
BVD : Butt Franklin has been named a Tree City by the Arbor Society. What does that say for this city ?
NFA : Any city can get specific recognition by paying the right person. Besides , Franklin has planted lots of little trees , while destroying the mature trees.
BVD : Butt why ?
NFA : They were in the way. Besides , tax dollars are not determined by trees. Also , remember , trees are a renewable green source.
BVD : This conversation seems a little stupid.
NFA : I agree. By the way , you are standing in the way of these Mexican workers with chain saws. I'll tell you what Franklin can do just so we all can sleep better tonight , we'll name a street after it. Do you have any suggestions ?

WSMV and the local Franklin paper have reported this story.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006



CNN , this morning , Robin Meade reported the flood clouds were moving in on Houston
Robin : Yeah , you know , flood clouds. They're about this tall. As long ass I've been here , you don't think I know what I'm talking about ?


Man Down

Franklin Tennessee , BVD News , Franklin Police officers recieved a call from dispatch about a man being down.
Dispatch : 321 , we got a call from 911 about a man being down , possibly unconscious , the doors are locked , this may require you to break in. The address is 101FP on Main Street. Respond code 3 , ambulance and fire are enroute.
321 : Dispatch , what was that address again ?
Dispatch : 101FP on Main Street
321 : Is'nt that our address ?
Dispatch : Well.....why......... yes it is.
321 : Do you see a man down ?
Dispatch : I do...........he's lying on the floor right here beside me.
321 : Do you think you can open the door for us ?


The Continuing Saga

If I can't come in by land
I'll come in by sea


Newspaper Plagiarism

The Tennessean Newspaper - June 18 , 2006 , Betsa Marsh wrote an article about adrenaline junkies finding a fix in New Zealand. It is practically a Clifty Notes on the Globetrekker show that had the same material , which aired several months ago.
Pictured is the Fly By Wire ride. It's just a fan on a string , you can't steer it anywhere. Butt , Betsa wants you to know it's a rocket ship.
BVD : Hey Jerry , what's your beef , we all plagiarize on these blogs to some degree.
Jerry : Yeah , butt , Betsa gets paid BIG bucks to write for The Tennessean. That's the difference.

Monday, June 19, 2006


Follow the Dots


Conan on the Matt

NBC Studios , Conan imitates Matt Lauer's naked ankle. Conan got this idea from my blog. WOW , first Jay Leno , and now Conan. That's 2 biggies in one week. This blog is on it's way to the top.

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