AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

Vanderbilt University - The School of Engineering disappeared in a ball of fire Thursday night when another of Professor Speece's research experiments went boom. Speece's life work has been studying human waste and converting it into bio-chemical weapons. His experiments have been the ridicule of everyone including the Vanderbilt Medical Center , whose professionals have wondered about his medieval practices. " There's no reason for doing research in this archaic manner. " said one medical researcher who didn't want his name given.
Professor Bowers was devastated ass his brass bed was also destroyed in the explosion. " Now where am I supposed to go to advise the co-eds ?" he wondered.
The reason for Speece's failure in this research project is still under investigation at this time. Metro's fire Marshall was slinging his fire axe at anyone he suspected of being an engineering professor ass this was not the first time he had to come out and put out some silly assed professor's nonsense. " This silly assed nonsensical Shit has got to stop . " he exclaimed , " Why can't anything be done about him ? The man is a menace to everyone including his own self. "
Chairman Thackston replied , " Speece is my friend , I hired him , and besides , you can't fire him because I gave him tenure , if he wants to blow up the place , then he can. "
Speece later remarked , " Now that those dead bodies have been destroyed , I won't have to worry about sneaking into the Anatomy Department tonight. "