AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

Vanderbilt University - BVD News , in an attempt to beat the rush on April Fools Day , several April Foolers went into over time early this week , by announcing to the Engineering School , that Dean Galloway had fired General Chairman Thackston ( again ). Upon hearing the good news , the Civil Department and ASCE members shook down Professor Bowers for party money.
Needing stuff to burn for the bon'fire , everyone in the Civil Engineering Department grabbed those elusive and exclusive test files.
Ass the party heated up , the ASCE gang started chanting , " We're FREE , we can now start learning civil engineering instead of studying dummy down test files. No more being spoon fed duck soup and no more Thackston dirty POOP !"
BVD asked Professor Speece about Thackston being fired. Speece replied , " Thackston can't be fired. He has a disease called tenure track manure."
BVD asked why the civil engineering students were'nt attending the ASCE Conference and the ASCE president spoke up saying , "Why? No one gives a Shit and besides , we never win anything because we are no good at anything. I mean like , the only thing we are really good at is spending our parents money on an expensive piece of wall paper. "
BVD asked if perhaps the conference could be changed to allow trophies be given to those schools who were'nt any good and/or perhaps a new catagory could be set up ? The president said she would look into it , if and when she felt like it.
BVD then asked "What are these kids thinking by burning those test files ?" Speece answered , " Ass usual they're not thinking , they're just burning their chances for graduation. Wanna hot dog ? "
Meanwhile , since NASA was unable to launch the Space Shuttle ( again ) , their astronauts , hearing about the party , came to help celebrate.