Monday, November 29, 2010

 

Thackston jr. Lost At Sea

Vanderbilt University - BVD reporting for The HASTLER newspaper - Today , the Vanderbilt community was overcome to learn that Thackston jr. , Director of Langford Auditorium and son of Chairman Thackston , Vanderbilt School of Engineering and who is also the Chairman at Cumberland University in Lebanon , was lost at sea when he bravely abandoned the S.S. Vanderbilt to go for help , during the annual Halloween party , when the ship ran dry of alcohol refreshments.
Thackston jr. made his Vanderbilt debut when dad got him the Langford Director's position without a job application or interview. Meanwhile , although his body has not been recovered at this time , his widow remains on board the S.S. Vanderbilt , determined to finish the party cruise , with or without him.
Meanwhile , the multitude of media students at Langford has stated " The show will go on ! " Well , after the party that is.
Chancellor Zeppos stated , " I'm sure his wife will make an excellent replacement. After all , the students know more about running Langford than that junior guy anyway. In the meantime , I've told her to stay with the ship for ass long ass her cute little ass can take it. "

Comments:
I had no idea that I had the capacity to sit and watch a guy jump in a shark's mouth for such a long period of time.
It's hypnotizing.
 
Mrs. Thaxton jr. stated " Better him than me."
 
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