AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

Vanderbilt University - BVD , people have been asking about the new metal enclosures being installed in the Rest Rooms at the School of Engineering. BVD went to get the scoop for the poop.
Dean Veillette , President for the PAVE Program explained. " Right now , we currently have young people from all over the world , who will be spending their next six weeks in our classrooms. No one really knows for sure , what their eating habits are. So , to protect everyone from possible UFOs , we are asking them to use these explosive containment closets when doing their personal business in our Rest Rooms. "
BVD : Is it true , Professor Speece of the Civil Engineering Department had something to do with these
Dean Veillette : Mmm , weeeeeellll , yes
BVD : Just how safe are these closets
Dean Veillette : Each of these have been thoroughly checked and independently tested , inspected and bear the Special Speece Stuff Seal of Approval , and that's all anyone really needs to know. Ha Ha Ha
BVD: What is this I hear about the police looking into this?
Veillette: Yes , Franklin Police have been looking at this for their new building. It seems some of their officers have been making some rather strong explosive UFO devices after consuming great quantities of beans and pizza with their beer which makes things rather difficult on other folks squatting on the adjacent toilets.