AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

This is part of a series of interviews with various Vanderbilt University faculty , to give everyone a small insight into the people that make Vanderbilt what it is today.

Vanderbilt University , BVD News - in a rare moment , Ed Thackston , retired chairman of the Civil Engineering Department , agreed to interview with BVD at his plantation home in Nashville.
BVD : Thank you for having me over Chairman
Thackston : Not at all , no problem at all , what can I do for you today
BVD : How did you become Chairman of the Civil Engineering Department ?
Thackston : Well , it's like this , I had just finished up my thesis in which I actually proved water flows down hill , thus supporting Newton's theory of gravity. At the same time , no one could be found willing to take the Chairman's position , so the job was given to me and I 've been here ever since.
BVD : You 're telling me that you went from grad student to chairman , just like that
Thackston : Yes , I was well liked at the time , and I did bring in millions of government research dollars to study water flow in stagnant ponds.
BVD : OK , moving on , ass you know , there have been some nasty accusations made about you , concerning the way you handled things in Vanderbilt 's Civil Engineering Department.
Thackston : Yes , I know , I've heard about them
BVD: Is it true you complained about your own people doing their job and that you went so far ass to interfere with their duties?
Thackston: Of course I did , this is an engineering school , not an engineering firm. What are these people thinking?
BVD: Butt you also interfered with NSF research money ass well ass other money from outside sources.
Thackston: Damn right I did. Those folks owed me gratuity. It's my Civil Engineering Department , not theirs. Heh heh heh
BVD : Is it true you funneled department money into political pockets for political gain
Thackston : Yes , it started when I helped John J. Hooker run for governor back in the 60's. When that failed , I branched out to other republicans. The final solution plan at one time was for me to become Tennessee 's governor
BVD : So , what happened
Thackston : I was better at funneling money from Vanderbilt , than riding on someone else coat tails.
BVD : Why were 'nt you fired , is'nt that like stealing
Thackston : Well , I have tenure , and of course , I also spread some money around to keep from being fired , so , Joe B. decided to keep me
BVD : Is it true , Galloway fired you more than once?
Thackston : Yes , ha ha ha several times over , butt , he had to rehire me or else
BVD : Now that you are retired , what projects are you really involved in
Thackston : The projects you hear about are just for looking good on paper. I'm actually enjoying my retirement with all the money I've squirreled away here in the house. See......( points to an open closet door )
BVD : Wooooow , that's amazing , so this is what you were working on all these years
Thackston : Yep , heh heh heh , it's all tax free too
BVD : Is it true , that everyone in the Engineering School thinks you're a Moron
Thackston : Yes , butt let me ask you this , if I'm such a Moron , why don't they have a closet full of cash money