AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

Vanderbilt University , BVD News - BVD got an inside exclusive interview with the Chancellor after going into critical damage control over a report from the Wall Street Journal.

BVD : Thank you for seeing me chancellor
Gee : Glad to have you here and help straighten up some misinformation that's been said about this wonderful university.
BVD : With Vanderbilt's clout and power on capital hill , I'm surprised such a story could see the light of day. What happened
Gee : Well , you know the old saying , one day , somehow , the truth will show it's ugly head
BVD : Yes , I've heard that. So , how have you been doing since you took this job after telling the world you did'nt want anything to do with it
Gee : Wow , you do your homework don't you
BVD : I'm not a Vanderbilt student relying on test files
Gee : SHHH , with about those files , OK ?
BVD : What's it like having your own stash of Mary Jane while being protected by Tennessee's fourth largest police department
Gee : Hey man life is sooo good , ya know what I mean hey hey hey
BVD : I'm surprised no one said anything earlier , you have all the signs of it's use
Gee : What are you talking about
BVD : I was in the Army , I can look in your face and tell you've used it within the last hour.
Gee : Can we move on
BVD : Of course , what's this about you spending 10 million dollars to renovate your residence , which happens to be Vanderbilt's big party house for fund raisers
Gee : The people coming to these fund raisers expect a certain level of respect and hospitality. In return , these people give large donations which keep this university running.
BVD : Yeah , butt , 10 million dollars
Gee : Look , the price of gas has gone up which makes it more expensive to get here , and with Dean Potter gone , LAMBDA has stopped donating condums , and then there's Vanderbilt One that is in constant use...
BVD : Vanderbilt One ?
Gee : This university has it's own air force. I fly in the larger buisness jet , while other important ranking university officials use the smaller aircraft.
BVD : Why are you flying so much
Gee : There's always important buisness meetings to attend to in the Bahamas
BVD : Why can't those meetings be held here
Gee : Becuase many members of Congress and the Senate , and of course the military go there regularly for their buisness meetings and it makes good buisness sense to be there with them. Vanderbilt's own air force is at the beck and call of many Congress members.
BVD : Why is that ?
Gee : It keeps our lobbyist close to them. How else do you think Vanderbilt can remain a for profit buisness enterprise with tax excempt status.
BVD : I see , well that helps to explain spending the 10 million dollars. To back up a moment..
Gee : Whoa , buddy , you better get a condum , I believe in being safe
BVD : Hold it sir , keep your pants on. I was going to ask about all those condums. Why are they so important.
Gee : These good people bringing all that money to share with the university also want to share more of themselves with the university. That's where I come in. ( The Chancellor's pants hits the floor )
BVD : Well sir , thank you very much for your time sir.
Gee : Your leaving ? Butt you just got here. Hey , hey , wait , you want some ? It's fresh. We grow our own at Potter's old place out in the country. ( Gee shows an open cigar box with pretty little ribboned green bags ) I'll show you how to roll it. Pssst....with the police protecting this place , we don't have anything to worry about.
BVD : Another time sir , and again , thank you for your time