Wednesday, October 04, 2006
The City of Ridiculous
Franklin , Tennessee - BVD , this year's Battle of Franklin will be redefined to accomommodate the diverse ethnicity of today's Franklin. Mayor Miller explains: We , that's J. J. and I looked this thing over and we realized there's a problem here , well , OK , problems.
BVD : Please explain. How can you have a battle re-enactment without battle flags or guns
Miller : We are a country of peace , which means Franklin is a city of peace. Today we have all those Mexicans , the Indians ( from India ) , those Muslums are here , and how 'bout them Islam folks. Last week , we got another batch of Iraqi's and let's not forget the black folk's feelings about the Stars and Bars. Our Police Chief says that only his people are now allowed to have any guns in this city. Franklin is changing more and more everyday. Having a battle here just is'nt appropriate any more.
BVD : Why not just cancel the affair all together ?
Miller : If we did that , what reason would the Heritage Foundation have to exist
BVD : I really don't understand all this , I'm surprised you are allowing the tents on your green spaces.
Miller : Well , you are right of course on that issue and we will deal with that next year
BVD : Would you like to explain this in more detail , just so the disappointed folks will understand
Miller : Be glad to. Our boys and girls are dying from bombs being made from leaftovers of the Gulf War. We don't want these outsiders which now make up Franklin's population to learn how the South made gunpowder. Seeing the guns of the era will also give them ideas. And , let's not forget how simple those cannons were. We don't want them learning what a " Bloody Blizzard " is. Afterall , it really has'nt been that long ago , Iraq tried to build the world's largest cannon. And , not to mention the tactics used in the Civil War. Ass you know , the South got sloppy with it's thing about God towards the end of the war. Let's not start another Holy Ji-Had around here.
BVD : Why not tell everyone , The Battle of Franklin is really just a myth and it never really happened.
Miller : What ? You mean rewrite history ?
BVD : President Bush does it. What's stopping you from doing it ?
Miller : May I have your number ? You're giving me some great ideas.
BVD : Please explain. How can you have a battle re-enactment without battle flags or guns
Miller : We are a country of peace , which means Franklin is a city of peace. Today we have all those Mexicans , the Indians ( from India ) , those Muslums are here , and how 'bout them Islam folks. Last week , we got another batch of Iraqi's and let's not forget the black folk's feelings about the Stars and Bars. Our Police Chief says that only his people are now allowed to have any guns in this city. Franklin is changing more and more everyday. Having a battle here just is'nt appropriate any more.
BVD : Why not just cancel the affair all together ?
Miller : If we did that , what reason would the Heritage Foundation have to exist
BVD : I really don't understand all this , I'm surprised you are allowing the tents on your green spaces.
Miller : Well , you are right of course on that issue and we will deal with that next year
BVD : Would you like to explain this in more detail , just so the disappointed folks will understand
Miller : Be glad to. Our boys and girls are dying from bombs being made from leaftovers of the Gulf War. We don't want these outsiders which now make up Franklin's population to learn how the South made gunpowder. Seeing the guns of the era will also give them ideas. And , let's not forget how simple those cannons were. We don't want them learning what a " Bloody Blizzard " is. Afterall , it really has'nt been that long ago , Iraq tried to build the world's largest cannon. And , not to mention the tactics used in the Civil War. Ass you know , the South got sloppy with it's thing about God towards the end of the war. Let's not start another Holy Ji-Had around here.
BVD : Why not tell everyone , The Battle of Franklin is really just a myth and it never really happened.
Miller : What ? You mean rewrite history ?
BVD : President Bush does it. What's stopping you from doing it ?
Miller : May I have your number ? You're giving me some great ideas.
