Friday, July 13, 2007
Be Very Quiet and You'll Hear the Truth ssshhhh
Vanderbilt University - it's supposed to be a secret , that Vanderbilt listens in on phone conversations. Let's tune in to Chancellor Gee's latest conversation with his new cronies.
Gee : I want to know , have you done what my contract calls for or have'nt you ?
Caller : Yes My Lord Gee , Sir. Butt why ? No one will drive them , nobody here understands why you want a fleet of 1969 Ford vans.
Gee : Because they will need upkeep , that's why.
Caller : Butt My Lord Gee , Sir , if no one drives them , they won't need upkeep.
Gee : Just leave the little problems to me , understand ?
Caller : Yes My Lord Gee , Yes Sir. Uh , Sir , Uh , why again do you require these vans ?
Gee : Look , being here at Vandy is costing me money. You understand ? I'm tired of loosing money to the IRS. Vanderbilt reports everything I get around here. Like that new sports car I get to drive for free. Vanderbilt reports that to the IRS , even though I don't spend a dime on the damn thing. Vanderbilt even reports all the free gasoline I go thru. All this adds up and it's costing me money.
Caller : Well Sir Gee , My Lord Sir , I've taken care of all that. You can drive any of these vans and the IRS won't know a thing.
Gee : No , no , no , you thick headed imbecile. I won't be driving those things. What's wrong with you. I will be taking care of all the paper work to maintain them. That way , I can funnel that money into my pocket.
Caller : My Lord Gee , Sir , please Sir , I don't understand how paying out money to maintain a fleet of vans can put money into your pocket.
Gee : It's just called innovative economics. Although I can show paper work to prove work was done , it's all a fake. The money being spent actually goes into my pocket. All of it. By having a fleet of decrepit vans , I can boost my yearly salary by 38 %. The IRS won't know a thing. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ........
Caller : Ay Yes Sir , now I see. You are'nt actually spending money , you are just showing money was spent , when the money is actually going into your pocket. Brilliant Sir ! Oh My LORD GEE Sir , I can see I can learn a lot from you.
Gee : Yes , yes , of course you can. I've learned a lot by being here at Vanderbilt. And , I'll be bringing all I've learned with me to my real home. The home where my real heart belongs.
Gee : I want to know , have you done what my contract calls for or have'nt you ?
Caller : Yes My Lord Gee , Sir. Butt why ? No one will drive them , nobody here understands why you want a fleet of 1969 Ford vans.
Gee : Because they will need upkeep , that's why.
Caller : Butt My Lord Gee , Sir , if no one drives them , they won't need upkeep.
Gee : Just leave the little problems to me , understand ?
Caller : Yes My Lord Gee , Yes Sir. Uh , Sir , Uh , why again do you require these vans ?
Gee : Look , being here at Vandy is costing me money. You understand ? I'm tired of loosing money to the IRS. Vanderbilt reports everything I get around here. Like that new sports car I get to drive for free. Vanderbilt reports that to the IRS , even though I don't spend a dime on the damn thing. Vanderbilt even reports all the free gasoline I go thru. All this adds up and it's costing me money.
Caller : Well Sir Gee , My Lord Sir , I've taken care of all that. You can drive any of these vans and the IRS won't know a thing.
Gee : No , no , no , you thick headed imbecile. I won't be driving those things. What's wrong with you. I will be taking care of all the paper work to maintain them. That way , I can funnel that money into my pocket.
Caller : My Lord Gee , Sir , please Sir , I don't understand how paying out money to maintain a fleet of vans can put money into your pocket.
Gee : It's just called innovative economics. Although I can show paper work to prove work was done , it's all a fake. The money being spent actually goes into my pocket. All of it. By having a fleet of decrepit vans , I can boost my yearly salary by 38 %. The IRS won't know a thing. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ........
Caller : Ay Yes Sir , now I see. You are'nt actually spending money , you are just showing money was spent , when the money is actually going into your pocket. Brilliant Sir ! Oh My LORD GEE Sir , I can see I can learn a lot from you.
Gee : Yes , yes , of course you can. I've learned a lot by being here at Vanderbilt. And , I'll be bringing all I've learned with me to my real home. The home where my real heart belongs.
