Monday, December 03, 2007
Vanderbilt Trauma Drops Another Patient
Vanderbilt Hospital , Nashville , Tennessee - and BVD News wuz thare - Vanderbilt's Trauma Doc. Morris , lost another patient , Saturday , when he successfully untwisted a patient's spine. His new procedure , involves having scamply clad young girls , dancing on the patient's bed. Only this time , the patient unexpectedly got out of bed on his own and a girl's butt knocked him thru an open window.
" It happens every time. I cure a twisted spine and I lose the patient. Next time , I'm using retired Vanderbilt nurses. I'll bet that keeps the patient in bed. " , remarked Doc. Morris , chuckling.
Vanderbilt police had to discharge their weapons into a flock of buzzards , who were feeding on the patient's carcass at the time of being found by Vanderbilt's Rescue Squad.
The Vanderbilt Trauma floor is 10 stories above ground and plans are being made , to place death markers on the sidewalk , where the former patients have landed. Vanderbilt's interim chancellor was heard to say , that will require a 5% hike in student and hospital patient's fees , due to the high number of deaths occurring , due to the high costs of the markers , associated with Doc. Morris' research , due to twisted spines.
When Doc. Morris was asked , " Why not close the windows before treatment ? " Doc. Morris replied , " What ? Are you crazy and give up all those insurance payments ? " BVD asked for an explanation. The reply was , " With hospital costs going up , we now require everyone , receiving my treatment , to sign over , all of their insurance benefits to me. " BVD looked at the doctor rather oddly. Morris then stated , " Look , I gotta eat , OK ? "
" It happens every time. I cure a twisted spine and I lose the patient. Next time , I'm using retired Vanderbilt nurses. I'll bet that keeps the patient in bed. " , remarked Doc. Morris , chuckling.
Vanderbilt police had to discharge their weapons into a flock of buzzards , who were feeding on the patient's carcass at the time of being found by Vanderbilt's Rescue Squad.
The Vanderbilt Trauma floor is 10 stories above ground and plans are being made , to place death markers on the sidewalk , where the former patients have landed. Vanderbilt's interim chancellor was heard to say , that will require a 5% hike in student and hospital patient's fees , due to the high number of deaths occurring , due to the high costs of the markers , associated with Doc. Morris' research , due to twisted spines.
When Doc. Morris was asked , " Why not close the windows before treatment ? " Doc. Morris replied , " What ? Are you crazy and give up all those insurance payments ? " BVD asked for an explanation. The reply was , " With hospital costs going up , we now require everyone , receiving my treatment , to sign over , all of their insurance benefits to me. " BVD looked at the doctor rather oddly. Morris then stated , " Look , I gotta eat , OK ? "
