AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

Vanderbilt University - BVD News for The HUSTLER - Vanderbilt upcoming summer student body , for this year's Maymester , was excited over the recent Pete Hoadley sighting , seen in Nashville's seedy downtown area , where poor country music artists , lip sink their own songs for the real country music stars.
Hoadley , a long time School of Engineering professor , a tenured Vanderbilt Centurian , ASCE alumni and missing in the elite Emeritus circles , was spotted yesterday , smoking his last , Mrs. Gee's " Special ".
Professor Hoadley is well remembered by past civil engineering students for abstaining himself from ASCE competition , because he's afraid of the water and could never understand the need of a trogglidite in civil engineering.
Said one student , who did not want their name used , " One thing about Professor Hoadley we could always count on , was that if you needed him for something , he could never be found. His office door was always open , butt , he was never home , even when the lights were on."
All past efforts to find Professor Hoadley , have been pointless , pointed out Commander Barnes , Vanderbilt First Eagle Fire Brigade , Search and Rescue Division.