AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

Vanderbilt University , School of Engineering - Nashville , Tennessee , BVD News was getting all excited with this years upcoming 2011 ASCE competition , when they realized that Vanderbilt had once again dropped the ball , ( yes , again )

BVD : Jerry , what the Hell is goin on over there ?
Jerry : Well BVD , it's like this. Having a dysfunctional chairman for half a century takes time to heal.
BVD : W-w-w-what ?
Jerry : Yep. Chairman Thackston was about ass dysfunctional ass one can be. There were so many jokes about him that Vanderbilt actually fired his ass , butt , because he suffered from chronic Brain Farts associated with Tenure , he was immediately re-hired , only to be fired again and again and again and yes , again.
BVD : How many times can a person be fired at Vanderbilt ?
Jerry : That depends on the number of friends you have and how much money you have and how much drugs you spread around. You know , the typical Brown Nose routine. Remember Gee ? Things got so bad around here for Thackston , he was last seen with brown rings around his neck.
BVD : Daaaang ! Now THAT's a Brown Noser ! Hey , I was just looking at this years web site for the ASCE 2011 Conference and nothing I click on works. Why not ?
Jerry : You have to remember , you are dealing with Civil engineers. None of them are civil or even computer tolerant. And today , the Vanderbilt Civil Department is chaired by a Chemical engineer. Besides , it's a sure bet , nobody at Vanderbilt knows what's going on any way and that includes finding someone who even knows what a ASCE is. You have got to remember , you are dealing with Vanderbilt engineering and not a Chinese fire drill.
BVD : The Civil department is chaired by a Chemical engineer ? That's absurd !
Jerry : Welcome to Vanderbilt everyone. And PLEASE , please don't get lost , while looking for MTSU