AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

Franklin , Tennessee - have you watched a Franklin Police officer write out a MVA report? There is soooo much information , to put on paper , it can be mind boggling. And at the end of the report , they are required to sign their own name and that in itself , is nerve racking enough already ass it is. Especially when they're having trouble , spelling their own name.

That's why they wear name tags. And to help them with spelling their names , all official police officers carry , an officially CALEA branded , (patent pending) name recognition mirror , for use in helping them see their own name tag , which (to them looking down) appears to be upside down. These mirrors come equipped , with an extension handle , to aid those not-so-tall officers , having shorter arms than most others and can not reach down to see their own name tags.

Now the problem with using this mirror system , is that inevitably , the officer sees their own face , which then causes them to forget , what they were doing with a mirror in the face in the first place. Yep , CALEA has finally recognized , writing those reports is just one problem compounding another. Soooo- beginning soon:

All official Franklin Police officers will , eventually , be given an identification number. This way , the officer will no longer need to fumble about , wondering what to do with their name spelling. And besides , remember-ing a number is sooo easy , even Taco Bell employees have shown , (under lab testing conditions) they too can do it.

For the past 5 years , CALEA has been researching this "Dummy It Down" (pronounced DiD for short) concept for dummies , in co operation with Taco Bell Incorporated , Inc. , Inc. & Co. , located just South of the Tennessean border. Before being issued both , a personalized field number name tag and personalized number plate for their personalized patrol car , all police officers will need to successfully complete , a gruellingly intensive , 3 week program , consisting of field training , finger painting , finger counting , toe counting for beginners , drivers Ed. & indoctrination studies for truck driving , before they can ask , to see if they qualify , to take the new and improved , "MVA Traffic & Reporting" standards for police examination.

Kat: Hey , ummmm , er , ah , Jerry? What happens if the officer is given a number , higher than 5?
Jerry: Hm? What do you mean?
Kat: Well , typically speaking , even Franklin Police officers , only have 5 fingers per hand.
Jerry: Are you sure? I mean , have you even counted the fingers on a Franklin Police officer's hand?
Kat: Hm , er , aaaah , no , I have not!
Jerry: OKay then. What's your point in asking this question if you don't know about what you are asking about?