AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

The US Navy - sailors everywhere are now talking about The Pentagon's decision , to re-consider their decision , about having women on board submarines. Well , what's taking them so long to decide this time?

Well let's see - there are important questions that remain in need of asking here. For example:

1-where would a woman put her "Welcome Aboard" tattoo? (all jokes aside , real Submariners have this tat where it counts)
2-can women do it deeper than men?
3-can women sing "Take Me Down" in a Bass voice?
4-again , in a submarine , who's on top?
5-why don't they just put Ho's on board and be done with it?
5.a-besides , Ho's are smarter anyway and they do not have a college education
6-can a woman learn to tell direction between right and left inside a submarine , be able to remember it and still find North?
7-now that today's submarines are smaller in size , will women still want to join?
8-Hmmmm , with submarine downsizing , does size really matter to a woman? Will this change their mind about joining?
9-just how does a proper woman properly wear dolphins?
10-will the crew think less of a woman , after being seen in the "Goat Locker" ?
11-will the name "Head" have to be changed?
11.a-sooo , uuuh , what do you say to a woman about the "Head" , in The Navy?
12-will having a woman on board a submarine , change the status of the "Laundry Queen" ?
13-can women really do it better in the "Galley" ?
13.a-are women required to "Mess Crank"?
13.b-will men be required to attend "PMS Sympathy Training"?
14-will the munchie and condom machine have choices and candy flavors , now?
14.a-will the boat's store carry feminine products?
14.b-will the sub's crest be on those products?
14.c-what about costs for advertising? (SSN666 TROJANS for Real Feminine Protection From Real Men and Their Little Submarines)
15-will submarines need to be refitted with Vanity mirrors in the control room?
15.a.a1-can Vanity mirrors be retro fitted to go Red for SpecOps?
15.a-will there be a need for mirrors in the Captain's quarters?
15.b-what about mirrors for the Stern Planes position?
16-did the engineers double check their math , with having women on board submarines , that just one nuclear reactor will be enough to get the job done? (or should the woman need to bring extra batteries. The Pentagon has yet to meet a woman with enough power)
17-should the Navy issue female submariners , re-chargeable batteries? And what about equality for the men?
18-what is the proper designation for "Female Submariner" ? A "Subwomanariner" ?
19-what is the acceptable method of "Pinning Dolphins" on a woman?
19.a-how should a woman wear her dolphins?
20-is there a female weight class , "TDU Weight" ?
21-what is the accepted method that qualifies a woman ass a woman?
22-will female submariners be allowed to grow a beard , the same as the men?
22.a-will female submariners be allowed to grow hair under their armpits?
22.b-will women have to shave along side the men?
23-what will be the authorized color of a female submariner Dolphin pin? Pink? Purple? Tiffany?
24-what kind of specialized training will a female submariner need , to determine the difference between Seamen and a Seaman?
25-can a woman be trained to not dribble during a blow?
25.a-will this dis-qualify her?
26-will submarines be reclassified / re-designated to something other than , The World's Largest Phallic Symbol?
27-will submarines need to be re- painted , in something other than Universal Black , to be appealing to women? (may I suggest Pink)
28-is it sexual harassment to order a woman to "Blow" the submarine to surface?
28.a-what if there's a need for an "Emergency Blow" ? (will it be acceptable to make time for a discussion , before she blows)
29-what are the costs to refit the submarine to accommodate the "Red Light" district?
30-will women be required to "Hot Bunk" ?
31-will submarine doctors need female anatomy training?
32-once qualified , will women be issued penile substitutes?
33-is it sexual harassment to order a woman to "Take Her Down" ?
34-how does a woman surface for air , again?
35-are women allowed to fly the Fair Water Planes?
35.a-are women to refrain from flying , period?
36-are dildos adaptable to the Submarine's hydraulic system or the HyPacs?
36.a-are there dildo prototypes on the drawing board?
36.b-what provisions are needed in an emergency failure?
37-how does a woman qualify on the BCP?
38-is it sexual harassment , when a torpedo is making a "Hot Run" ?
38.a-is it sexual harassment to , "Flood the Main Tube" ?
38.b-if there's an orgy in the Torpedo Room , does that qualify it as an "Astor DisAstor" ?
39-if a woman fails to qualify , can she still wear her Dolphins upside down? (as if she could tell the difference anyway)
40-will there be Female Dolphins for Women only?

So , just how do you approach a woman about submarines? Answer: From behind

Another puzzling question that puzzles The Pentagon - Are the 2 dolphins on the submarine badge really "Gay" ? If not , then where is the little one?

And so she/it goes.