AIMLESSLY UNBALANCED

Okay people , it's time to spill the beans about that TOYOTA acceleration problem. You know , how we are so individually and independently dependent on satellite systems these days , right? I mean like even The Pentagon can't operate without a satellite something or other , to do something or other , right? I mean like uhmm , well , if it were not for all of those satellites circling around up there , who would our brave battlefield generals in comfy armchairs and big screen TVs w/surround sound have , to boss around , right?

Soooooo , by now , almost everyone has heard of the Predator. Well , are you familiar with the Reaper? It's basically a Predator on steroids. Well , every time a signal goes into that thing to fire it's Hellfire missile , that very same signal is also picked up by the on board TOYOTA electronic brain system ( aka , the CPU ) , the computer's interpretations of that signal is that the vehicle is going to slow for the driver and therefore the engine needs more gas to satisfy the driver's immediate need for speed and faster texting.

So , there you have it folks. Problem solved and NASA can go back home now and do their re entry thing

( You know what? We have fired so many Hellfire missiles at our enemies , you would think they would all be dead by now )

Oh ! Hey , uh , do I still get that cool million dollar reward?