Thursday, November 30, 2006
Arthritis Secret
Jerry Horne - The fine people at The Wellness Pharmacy located within The Pain Management Group in Antioch has done a fine job of fooling people. They have a cream they have been telling everyone that only they can supply. I have found out that's baloney under Federal law. Here's the deal.
You need to find a good compounding pharmacy. ( allow me to recommend Allenhill , talk to Randy 790-3885 ) What he needs to know is this :
CMP-KETA/CYCLO/KETOP 3% / 1% / 3% GEL
Keep in mind this is a controlled substance and you will need a script. Randy can be of help here since your doctor will probably not know anything about this stuff and you don't know enough to answer the doctor's questions.
This is controlled because it's a strong pain killing stuff.
This is a cream rubbed on topically and with some folks with arthritis , they enjoy pain relief and without using stupid drugs like Loritabs.
This is a unpaid for notice that I hope the word gets around. This is my Christmas gift to all.
Oh yeah , by the way , buy more than 2 ounces at a time and ask Randy for a 10% cut. And by the way again , it's expensive and no insurance will cover it.
Happy Holidays
You need to find a good compounding pharmacy. ( allow me to recommend Allenhill , talk to Randy 790-3885 ) What he needs to know is this :
CMP-KETA/CYCLO/KETOP 3% / 1% / 3% GEL
Keep in mind this is a controlled substance and you will need a script. Randy can be of help here since your doctor will probably not know anything about this stuff and you don't know enough to answer the doctor's questions.
This is controlled because it's a strong pain killing stuff.
This is a cream rubbed on topically and with some folks with arthritis , they enjoy pain relief and without using stupid drugs like Loritabs.
This is a unpaid for notice that I hope the word gets around. This is my Christmas gift to all.
Oh yeah , by the way , buy more than 2 ounces at a time and ask Randy for a 10% cut. And by the way again , it's expensive and no insurance will cover it.
Happy Holidays
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Franklin Employee Files
Franklin , Tennessee - BVD News , The City of Franklin is now using a new photo system to be used in Franklin's city emplyee's quarterly performance reports.
Jay Johnson stated , " This will speed up the reading process for pay raises assessments. "
The Fight
Franklin , Tennessee - BVD News , it seems Bob Sanchez is sueing the City of Franklin. He caught some of Franklin's elite stealing money and now he's in court to protect himself. Outside the court room a ruckus started.
Jay Johnson : Doug , you fucking ass. Look at the trouble you've caused by getting caught. How many times have I told you not to be so greedy.
Doug Berry : Me ? What about all that money you've taken out of traffic court.
Jay Johnson : Franklin does'nt have a traffic court. You know that.
Doug Berry : Well , that explains those extra 100 dollar bills in your pocket does'nt it
Jay Johnson : Bob , stay out of our way before you get hurt
Bob Sanchez : I'm refereeing you assholes. Keep it clean
Jay winks at Doug
Doug Berry : Oh SHIT ! Bob , Bob , you alright ? Someone call 911
Jay Johnson : Ha Ha Ha , Damn Doug , Ha Ha Ha , what have you done ?
Doug looks on giggling , " Do you think we should get off of him now ? "
Jay Johnson : I'm not a medic , are you ?
Doug Berry : Nope , we better keep still , might be some injuries here. Ha Ha Ha
Jay Johnson : Bob , can you talk ? Speak to me Bob
The Wellness Pharmacy , INC.
Antioch , Tennessee - Jerry Horne , this place has become a joke. The Wellness Pharmacy located within The Pain Management Group is going down the drain. They don't care about their patients or if you get your prescriptions. I guess that's the way it goes when you know The Pain Management Group is already in the drain.
The doctors will give their patients their prescriptions provided they fill them at the Wellness Pharmacy. Yep , it's illegal , butt , they do it.
What's getting funnier is the fact , if you need a pain doctor , they have a list of really good AND certified pain doctors who can be of more help. ( these doctors are not with the group ) The Pain Management folks have Dr. Erickson for example , who , for some reason , cannot get certified , and yet , he's there practicing at being a pain specialist. ( maybe that's the joke of why they call it practicing medicine )
At 0730 this morning , I got a call from some person over there saying I leaft a message last week and asked what I needed. ( yes , it takes this long to return a call ) I told her everything was OK. Anyway , she asked me if I would like my call to be transferred over there , they were closed , butt , she would transfer my call anyway in an effort to help me. Hm. Yep , she transferred my call to them and I got the Group's operator who got confused ass to why I called her. ( ? )
This is one place that closes for holidays and makes no effort to tell their patients. How much trouble is that to put into a phone message ? Many buisnesses are opened the Friday after Thanksgiving. What's really bad is that they run out of supplies and it takes a week to get more and they don't tell you when it comes in.
Anyway , if you need to contact them for a laugh , The Wellness pharmacy is at 941-8333.
If there was a buisness that wanted to shut itself down , they are succeeding.
The doctors will give their patients their prescriptions provided they fill them at the Wellness Pharmacy. Yep , it's illegal , butt , they do it.
What's getting funnier is the fact , if you need a pain doctor , they have a list of really good AND certified pain doctors who can be of more help. ( these doctors are not with the group ) The Pain Management folks have Dr. Erickson for example , who , for some reason , cannot get certified , and yet , he's there practicing at being a pain specialist. ( maybe that's the joke of why they call it practicing medicine )
At 0730 this morning , I got a call from some person over there saying I leaft a message last week and asked what I needed. ( yes , it takes this long to return a call ) I told her everything was OK. Anyway , she asked me if I would like my call to be transferred over there , they were closed , butt , she would transfer my call anyway in an effort to help me. Hm. Yep , she transferred my call to them and I got the Group's operator who got confused ass to why I called her. ( ? )
This is one place that closes for holidays and makes no effort to tell their patients. How much trouble is that to put into a phone message ? Many buisnesses are opened the Friday after Thanksgiving. What's really bad is that they run out of supplies and it takes a week to get more and they don't tell you when it comes in.
Anyway , if you need to contact them for a laugh , The Wellness pharmacy is at 941-8333.
If there was a buisness that wanted to shut itself down , they are succeeding.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Franklin Police Sgt. Kirby Arrested
Franklin , Tennessee - BVD News , BVD got a one on one with Chief Moore concerning Sgt. Kirby's arrest for assault on his wife in front of his child
BVD : So the man is out on bail. What happens now ?
Moore : We cut him off the payroll while an investigation takes place
BVD : I saw The Williamson County Sheriffs Department's Det. Beard is doing the investigation. Why ?
Moore : Beard will find the man innocent of charges and Kirby can get back to his work. Kirby is working on some very important cases right now.
BVD : You said he was off the payroll. How can he be working ?
Moore : This police department is the law , that's how.
BVD : I don't get this , you take him off the payroll and you still let him work ?
Moore : Just because I said he's off payroll does'nt mean we actually did it. I said that remark for the benefit of the public.
BVD : I still don't get it.
Moore : Of course you don't get it. And you are not supposed to get it. Look , police buisness is police buisness. It's none of your buisness.
BVD : Wow , you actually told me the truth. I'll bet that hurt
Moore : I'm getting old. Looking back , I see too many left turns when I should have turned right.
BVD : Why did'nt you go to the U. S. Marshals ?
Moore : I got caught lying on an application. I did'nt think they would go that far back into my records.
BVD : So , this Kirby thing.....
Moore : You know Det. Beard is politicaly dug in and does'nt have to do his job and he can't be fired. That makes him the perfect person for this investigation. This whole Kirby affair will be found to be a misunderstanding.
BVD : What ? He struck his wife , where's the misunderstanding ?
Moore : That was foreplay. She likes it rough
BVD : What ?
Moore : Heh heh heh , yeaaaah , you should see those two dressed up in their Klingon outfits.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
IT is HERE and ALWAYS will Be HERE
This holiday week has been full of the word " nigger " and there's a reason for it. Prejudice is the only word for it. We have prejudice now , just like we had perjudice in the past. I have no idea how many billions of dollars the government has spent fighting prejudice , butt , it aint workin.
By looking into the future ( so to speak ) we have STAR WARS. Does anyone see something out of place ?
Why was the Wookie leaft out of getting a medal ? Was'nt he a part of the fighting that cleared Skywalker's butt of that evil Darth Vader ? OK , I'm listening. Why does'nt he also get a madal ? Prejudice ?
What will it take to eliminate the word nigger ? Remove it from our dictionary ? Remove black people from this planet ? Remove white people from this planet ? Remove both from this planet.
Hey BVD , what does nigger stand for anyway ?
BVD : My dictionary says it means incredibly stingy.
Jerry : Well alright then , we found a place to start with in the elimination of the word nigger. We ass a whole will stop being so incredibly stingy.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Yep , It's True
Someone doubted my word about eliminating Lexmark from my house. I have no reason to lie.
Any more questions ? And , yes I did send a letter to Lexmark with a picture.
Bush Finally Makes it to Nam
Viet Nam - BVD Globeblogger , President Bush was overly nervous about being in Viet Nam since his daddy had pulled so many strings to keep him out. The First Lady finally whispered in his ear , " Don't worry dear , I've got your back. "
Today's America
United States of America - BVD Bloggtographer , one thing I enjoy while doing nothing is building a NASCAR model that's usually made by REVELL. This is the Dale Earnhardt #3. Do you notice anything wrong
There are no tires , chrome parts or window pieces.
I think China has finally caught on to how America does buisness.
Gee at Odds With Party House
Vanderbilt University - BVD News , ass Metro government considers more restrictions on party permits , Vanderbilt's Chancellor Gee was seen stomping inside the capital building from end to end.
BVD : Chancellor , what's wrong ?
Gee : The government is changing the laws regarding my useage of my free housing facilities for parties
BVD : Maybe it's the neighbors just want some peace and quiet.
Gee : No , no , no...........it's not that. The neighbors want me to share a piece of toke bar with them. BVD : Well , ass much ass you've got on hand , and since they are'nt ass rich ass you , maybe give them a break on price and share some of your police protection with them
Gee : Damn BVD , you sure know how to get around things don't you
BVD : It's my Vanderbilt education sir , you would be amazed the things I learned
BVD : Chancellor , what's wrong ?
Gee : The government is changing the laws regarding my useage of my free housing facilities for parties
BVD : Maybe it's the neighbors just want some peace and quiet.
Gee : No , no , no...........it's not that. The neighbors want me to share a piece of toke bar with them. BVD : Well , ass much ass you've got on hand , and since they are'nt ass rich ass you , maybe give them a break on price and share some of your police protection with them
Gee : Damn BVD , you sure know how to get around things don't you
BVD : It's my Vanderbilt education sir , you would be amazed the things I learned
It's ALIVE ! ! !
Franklin , Tennessee - BVD Bloggtographer , the moment the world has been waiting for has finally arrived. There's a new disturbance in the Force.
Everyone meet Kaden. He weighed 9 pounds , 14.5 ounces , and 21 1/2 inches long with a brain pan of 39 centimeters at birth.
He was last seen chasing Harry Potter through downtown Franklin using Franklin's Handy Hardware broom sticks.
Franklin Police were unable to catch them with their flying broom stick flight destablizer nets when a taser gun misfired thru an open car door and shocked Jay Johnson in the ass.
Richard Call of Aimlessly Wandering fame took this photo. Nice one Richard !
Saturday, November 18, 2006
The New Spy in Town
How many people enjoy Lexmark ? Not bad stuff is it ? How many of you are aware that it's spying on you ? My puter got a case of the slows and my puter guru found that Lexmark had a " line " running off my puter to keep them informed of what I was doing. Is this legal ?
I enjoyed destroying this printer. It would'nt let me print without first printing the square up blocks followed by a reminder my ink cartridge was running low. Well imigane that.
Lexmark got the boot and the uninstall and by the way , just because you think you uninstalled it , does'nt mean that you uninstalled it all.
Double check.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Gee Denied Membership
Nolensville , Tennessee - BVD Bloggtographer has learned that Vanderbilt University's Chancellor Gee was not accetable to the Nolensville Liar's Club.
President Jamie Dunn said , " There were too many discrepancies in his application. In other words , he really is a genuine liar , and that's not what we are about. We enjoy having our fun and laughing at eachother , butt , we don't tell real lies just for the fun of hurting someone."
BVD : Can you give an example of what you are talking about ?
Jamie : Sure Hun , Gee lied about his wife's involvement with marijuana , he lied about Vanderbilt employee pay raises
BVD : Wait , what did he lie about there ? I did'nt know employees got raises
Jamie : He said all employee pay raises are based on 3 %. That's a blantant lie. Faculty get an automatic 5% pay raise. Those other people get a 3% pay raise based on how well their supervisor likes them , regardless of how well they do their job. Faculty get their 5% regardless of whether they do their job or not. If a supervisor gives an employee a 1.5% pay raise , the other 1.5% goes to the supervisor. This club took a vote and we decided that we would prefer Franklin's liar's club take him instead. Afterall , money is'nt everything in the eyes of the lord. And besides , Nolensville is growing , the last thing we need is a bad reputation. Scott Revoir has done enough damage in that department already
BVD : ER , UH , Jamie , you don't understand something about Vanderbilt. Faculty are not considered employees.
Jamie : They work there don't they ? They get a Vanderbilt paycheck don't they ?
BVD : That depends on what you would consider to be work
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Franklin Police Make Big Bust
Franklin , Tennessee - BVD News heard about Franklin Alderman Dodson Randolph getting arrested for stalking.
BVD : Alderman Randolph , what are the police laughing about ?
Randolph : Ahh , they said they made a big bust
BVD : Is that your bust they are laughing about ?
Randolph : ?
BVD : Did you know that if you have a Franklin Police badge and gun , you are above the law ? You can then stalk all you want. You can even have sex with a minor under their sex education guidelines.
Randolph : Whatttt ?
BVD : Yep. The police are laughing at you for getting yourself arrested when it was'nt necessary.
Let's Play Space
Brentwood , Tennessee - BVD went to hear the astrobiologists Todd Gary speak to kids at Edmondson Elementary school.
BVD : Hey Gary , what you are saying is nice and all that , butt I remember similar talk being said to the school kids while this country had a successful Gemini program going and we had Mars trips on the agenda. Today , NASA can't launch the shuttle without a piece of plastic foam knocking it out of the sky. And , NASA recently stated they have wasted 30 years of time and money to accomplish nothing. They even went so far ass to admit William Shatner accomplished more in space while standing on the ground we call earth. So , why are you here ?
Gary : NASA gave me money to go around all these schools and take them out of the classroom and feed them a bunch of crap.
BVD : Is'nt it true , the next generation in space will be the Chinese ?
Gary : Yeah , probably
BVD : I don't see any Chinese in here. Should'nt you be speaking to them instead and let these kids get back to their texting and other non essential school activities ?
Gary : Hm.....you have a point there. You know what ? You're right . Besides , I've never been to China , or even into space for that matter.
BVD : You've never been into space and here you are talking about it ?
Gary : Well , someone needs to don't you think ?
BVD : Excuse me , I'm downloading my Itunes
EEEEWWWWW - THAT SMELL ! ! !
Franklin , Tennessee - BVD went to investigate the smell everyone was talking about. Surpriseingly , BVD found Vanderbilt's very own Professor Speece looking around.
Speece : MMMmmmm , that's such a sweet smell
BVD : That shit STINKS ! ! !
Speece : Well of course it stinks. It is SHIT ! ! !
BVD : Do you have any idea where it's coming from ?
Speece : Well of course I do. I am after all , a Centennial Professor at Vanderbilt.
BVD : A what ? What is that ?
Speece : I don't know , butt it does give me a big job title
BVD : OK , Mr. Big Job Title , what's the smell ?
Speece : It's politics trying to mix in with the truth. Only thing is , it won't work. Ya see , the truth is water soluble. Politics won't soluble with anything. This town is so corrupt , this smell is the result and it will get only worse with time. Not even Vanderbilt has enough money to stop that kind of filth.
BVD : What would you recommend ?
Speece : Move
Speece : MMMmmmm , that's such a sweet smell
BVD : That shit STINKS ! ! !
Speece : Well of course it stinks. It is SHIT ! ! !
BVD : Do you have any idea where it's coming from ?
Speece : Well of course I do. I am after all , a Centennial Professor at Vanderbilt.
BVD : A what ? What is that ?
Speece : I don't know , butt it does give me a big job title
BVD : OK , Mr. Big Job Title , what's the smell ?
Speece : It's politics trying to mix in with the truth. Only thing is , it won't work. Ya see , the truth is water soluble. Politics won't soluble with anything. This town is so corrupt , this smell is the result and it will get only worse with time. Not even Vanderbilt has enough money to stop that kind of filth.
BVD : What would you recommend ?
Speece : Move
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Taking Care of Those In Need
Franklin , Tennessee - Jerry saw this in the paper and knew what a tub of bullshit this was. It's amazing what politicians will do to get press space butt won't follow thru.
How many Franklinites are aware that Franklin gives property tax relief to disabled veterans ? Now that's a noble thing for a city ass great and ass wealthy ass Franklin is , to actually put on their books a taxing relief to our disabled veterans who fought for our liberties.
Now that I've filled up your drawers , how many Franklinites are aware that the disabled veterans can't use that benefit ? The City of Franklin wrote it in such a way , it looks great on paper , butt the veteran can't use it. Here's ya another reason why people flock to this great city
Friday, November 10, 2006
Yep , He's GONE ! ! !
Is'nt it interesting how President Bush told America he would keep Rumsfeld and stay the course. Now that the American people have voted their feelings , Rumsfeld is gone the next day , and of course , Rumsfeld is being replaced by one of his daddy's friends.
Does this qualify Bush ass being a flip flopper ? That was the term Bush used against Kerry during their presidential bid for the White House. Is that something like " It takes one to know one " ?
Does this qualify Bush ass being a flip flopper ? That was the term Bush used against Kerry during their presidential bid for the White House. Is that something like " It takes one to know one " ?
Did you catch this one ?
Franklin , Tennessee - Jerry Horne went to Home Depot to purchase an air filter for the house. These sell for 9.97. However , for a short time , there was a sign saying 8.97 , The Depot did'nt change the computer and you paid full price. Yes , The Depot gave me the proper refund after showing my reciept.
The Home Depot is'nt any different from other buisnesses in Franklin that do not make the changes in their computer system because they know not too many people in Franklin read what they buy.
For the money , this is a good filter. You are wasting your money to buy the more expensive purple packaged filter because the home system is'nt made to use the extra filtering capability of the purple filter. For your money and your sinuses , this red one is the best for home use.
No , I'm not getting paid for this endorsement. I'm just sharing some good sinus sense for those having breathing problems. There are some really nice filters that you wash instead of changing it out. However , you won't wash out all the crud and you have the extra expense of buying the " special soap " to wash the filter and over time , the crud builds up and you can't wash it clean.
Go for this one and throw the old one away. Write the date on the filter so you know when it was changed last. Under normal use , these are good for a month. If you have no pets , use them for 2 months. If you have a smoker , throw them out.
BORAT Wins Election
Franklin , Tennessee , BVD News - BVD was on hand ass BORAT took the stage to accept his win over Franklin's Administrator Jay Johnson.
A stunned Jay Johnson could'nt believe what he was hearing. " That's impossible ! " , he exclaimed. " I have full autonomy and besides , my position is permanent. The voters don't have a choice in choosing city administrators. "
BORAT went on record that he had heard how Mr. Johnson had ignored the needs of the this town and it's people. " In my country , we vote where votes are needed. In this situation , the looser gets to ride camel out of town till sundown. After that , he'z is on his own till he find someone else to fool around. "
To show there were no hard feelings , BORAT told Johnson he could use his sister for the night , if he had one.
BORAT was allowed to look around the administrators office. Everywhere he looked , he did'nt see anything. All the desks were barren. Not even a pen was to be found. BORAT stated , ' There's not much to this job is there ? I think I can make good here , yez ? "
Franklin Police ignored Johnson's commands of removing BORAT from the city's complex. They were ass confused about the election ass as the other city employees were. One officer was over heard asking BORAT about his sister.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Snow Bird Out of Bed ?
Vanderbilt University Medical Center , BVD News - The Snow Bird rumors were put to rest when he woke up in Vanderbilt's Traumatic Department. Trauma Doc Morris said Snow Bird was just semi comic toast.
However , Snow Bird suffered a set back in his recovery while discussing the incident with a Metro Detective ( who happened to be a Metro Firefighter wearing a police badge ) Dr. Morris explained , that Snow Bird was showing how he was looking up at WKRN's weather wood , wondering how WSMV could get a weather wood patent before their competition's wood could. While standing underneath the wood , Snow Bird demonstrated a safety problem by touching the wood's rope knot. This caused the rope to fail and Snow Bird once again was clobbered in the head by the wood , sending his foul stuffing splattering all over the room.
Snow Bird is in surgery at this time , and it is not known if he will make the WSMV's studios in the event of the first school closings due to this years first snow.
Dr. Morris promised to stuff everything back into place before sewing him up.
Pictured is Mr. Kline from the WILLIAMSON A. M. , who volunteered to demonstrate the events leading up to Snow Bird's demise.
Franklin's Government Does It's Part
Franklin , Tennessee , BVD Bloggtographer - while Franklin's hierarchy played their usual upperhand games with new prospectus Franklinites , the price of gas went up while the price of oil went down. How many people caught that one ?
Franklin gas prices went up 9 cents while oil dropped $2.39
Jay Johnson stated , " It's just a simple matter of diverting their attention away from reality. We show them history that does'nt exist , and we show them parts of Franklin that has nothing to do with Franklin. " Mr. Johnson later , laughingly said , " After that latest bunch of dumb asses , I'm going to have to build a bigger swimming pool for my money. "
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
This Years Voting
Franklin , Tennessee , BVD Bloggtographer - Kibbles barely made it thru the voting lines today ass tempers got all wet from the rain. It seems Kibbles upset some folks by telling them that if they had looked at WKRN's weather wood , they would have known the weather would be wet today.
Kibbles also added that the political strategy being used by both parties was reining on the voters.
Pieces of weather wood was seen flying around the voting areas. Kibbles was asking if these flying objects qualified ass UFOs.
Does anyone reading this have an answer ?
Kibbles was also asking if WSMV had a weather wood person opening that would report the weather conditions
Hallowed Halloween Party
Franklin , Tennessee , BVD Bloggtographer - there was one hell of a wickedly evil Halloween Party to be had this past Halloween Holiday. Because of the nature of the party , those attending asked that their identity not be given out. The party was by bat invitation only.
Snow Bird is Dead ?
Vanderbilt University Medical Center , BVD News - in an unconfirmed report , Metro EMS transported WSMV's Snow Bird to Vanderbilt's Traumatic Hospital. A Metro Police spokesperson stated Snow Bird was found lying on the ground underneath a piece of WKRN's Weather Wood.
It is uncertain if Snow Bird was inspecting the wood when it fell on top of him , or if foul play was to blame. Pictured is a piece of typical weather wood that would tell the weather just by looking at it. Vanderbilt Medical Center had no comment for the press at this time while Metro Police continue their investigation.
WKRN issued a safety warning about using weather wood by saying the wood is heavy for it's size and it can slip off the wood rope especially designed to hold it in place in the event of heavy blowing winds. WKRN emphasized the dangers of standing underneath the wood can lead to head injuries.
The rumor mill has it that WKRN will start selling their weather wood to those interested who would learn more and would want to become a part of WKRN's weather wood network
Monday, November 06, 2006
The New Voting System
Franklin , Tennessee , BVD - here's the news on the voting system being used in Franklin. BVD was'nt allowed to vote for being illegal. He was told if he wanted to vote , he should go to Florida where it's legal.
BVD : What's the fuss with voting this year
Vote Department Manager wanted to remain anonymous : There's no curtains for privacy
BVD : Why can't there be privacy ?
VDM : When there were curtains , some folks were getting caught having sex on the machine
BVD : Well , why can't there be something to provide privacy
VDM : Look , we have gone to a lot of trouble to be able to keep certain officials informed about how the vote is going
BVD : I see , so in other words , you've gone to a lot of trouble to peek over everyone's back
VDM : Yep , this is afterall , government
BVD : Why is the yellow button so easy to reach
VDM : This allows the attendant to put in an extra vote without causing undo concern
Borat For President
New York City , NBC Studios , BVD Bloggtographer - Borat has announced he wants to run for president of the United States. He promises a work agenda just like Bush has in place now. Nothing will get done while doubling the size of government. Everyone in the White House will get drunk everyday. The Pentagon will have 5 parties going at all times. Only the finest Hookers will be allowed inside the White House grounds. He will keep Rumsfeld and make Conti an offer while letting the Snow blow. He promised everyone will be happy , stay happy and keep doing what they do and he promised weather wood in every garage.
His movies have made him so rich , he now has diamond dental implants and has made President Bush an offer to buy the White House for his summer retreat.
What , Rumsfeld Again ?
For those wondering why Bush has kept Rumsfeld on board , the answer should be obvious now with the elections going strong and the Republicans sweating and not sleeping. You don't hear Bush talking about Iraq because it's his mess. Butt , Rumsfeld can take the blame. Can't he ?
We are told the generals don't want him or his agendas. Strange how there are no names of those generals. Now it's the military's family members speaking out against him.
Let's look at the truth here. Rumsfeld gets his orders from President Bush. Rumsfeld's agendas come from Bush. Anyone in the military caught talking badly about Rumsfeld is also talking badly about the president. Now , you're talking mutiny. Military family members can talk all they want. They can't be shot at dawn for mutinous behavior.
Yep , Rumsfeld is a pretty good ole boy to have around. He'll take the heat for the mess in Iraq
The rumor mill says President Bush is considering Borat for a cabinet member in a last ditch effort to boost his ratings. After the elections , Bush won't have anything to use on Kerry
The Upper Hand Wants YOU
Have you noticed the amount of advertising devoted to recruiting people to move to the Upper Hand ? After all the hard work , and money spent by Governor Alexander to bring people from Michigan here to live in Tennessee , it now appears that Michigan wants their people back. OK , fine by me. Take 'em. Take them all. I'll even turn out the lights for ya.
Weather Wood
Nashville , Tennessee - BVD Bloggtographer. WKRN has finally come thru with a weather watch winner.
It's called Weather Wood. WKRN's manager stated , " We owe it all to our Nashville Is Talking blogger , Brittney. She wood constantly complain about her view out the window from her blogging office since there was'nt anything to look at. So what finaly happened , Brittney wanted a view and put to work WKRN's weather department , this effort would enable WKRN to report the weather more accurately and in a timely fashion. Besides , when the blogg system goes down , Brittney goes down too , this new system does'nt suffer from power outages or CPU downtime. Plus the added benefit of realtime weather as it occurs which would enable the NIT network to report the weather in real time. The manager was amazed how a piece of wood would enhance their weather coverage while giving a view. No coax cable required , the view is free and it's low maintainance. This could change how the weather is viewed and possibly wood go world wide.
Here's how it works :
If it's wet , it's raining
If it moves , the wind is blowing
If it is spinning , there's a tornado close by
If it is white , it's snowing
If it's black , it got used for firewood
If it's on the ground , the system is down
If the rope is gone , it's been disconnected
This system is so simple to use , the idea of using this in the blogg network has been discussed , and there's possible educational useage as well. If enough weather wood is put into place , it would make possible to draw out maps as the weather occurs in real time. Plus , we will have the added advantage of observing the weather underneath the cloud cover , so that would eliminate the problems of whiteouts using satellite technology.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
The Paparazzi Strikes Again
Franklin , Tennessee - BVD News , by now the local community has been talking about Mitchel Kline's hot air video ride over Williamson county's affluence. A paparazzi group from California went sneaking around trying to get pictures of the now world famous photographer. This was found in his trash can according to one of the paparazzi named " Slider. "
He said people had been wondering how Kline did that video when he is afraid of heights. Butt , ya see ? Put enough of these watta calars togethar and ya got yerself a vee dee ough
Conan Tried
NBC Studios , New York City - BVD News. Conan O Brien of the famed NBC Late Nite Show understood presidential wanna be Kerry's problem of being unable to read and tell a joke at the same time. So , Conan invited Kerry over to his show to give him a few pointers about reading jokes.
Conan finally gave up and threw in the towel after noticing that Kerry could not keep his eyes off of his bare ankles.
Kerry later remarked , " I did'nt know NBC had a page program for adults. "
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Today's Weather Is RAIN
Franklin , Tennessee - Jerry Horne reporting. Living in Franklin means you don't need to look out the window to see what today's weather is doing. COMCAST cable is dead. Yes , DEAD ! Yeah , I know Halloween is over , butt with COMCAST service , when it rains , your TV service dies and COMCAST phone numbers go where no one has gone before.
When the weather dries out , COMCAST goes back to work.
When the weather dries out , COMCAST goes back to work.
Are We Speeding Yet ?
BVD News - Politicians and law enforcement joined forces today in the fight against Seimens new car technology that controls the speed of a car. The device reads the posted speed limit signs and adjusts the cars speed accordingly.
The City of Franklin Police Department off duty police officers lead todays protest outside the office of Jay Johnson in hopes of gaining browny points ass Franklin stands to loose about five million dollars in the first quarter once the Seimens units get installed.
Kerry , What Were You Thinking ?
Kerry apologized for his uneducated remarks towards President Bush today , ass his fellow Democrates distanced themselves from him
It was reported from a White House aid , that the president fell to his knees giving thanks to the Lord that someone could be so stupid enough ass to save him and his fellow Republicans in their hour of election desperation.
